My life sober / suggestions?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Unionville, PA
Posts: 141
My life sober / suggestions?
Hi all,
Ive been sober for 3 months now, I fell off a couple times prior. I found the best way to stay sober is to not go out on the weekends to anything drinking related (which is 95 percent of the activities) I haven't really seen any of my normal friends in probably six weeks. I still get urges to booze but I just pound maybe 12-15 cans of setzler water a day and just try to get through it.
Overall I find life is pretty boring but its better then getting drunk and doing something stupid. Does this lonely feel ever go away?
Matt
Ive been sober for 3 months now, I fell off a couple times prior. I found the best way to stay sober is to not go out on the weekends to anything drinking related (which is 95 percent of the activities) I haven't really seen any of my normal friends in probably six weeks. I still get urges to booze but I just pound maybe 12-15 cans of setzler water a day and just try to get through it.
Overall I find life is pretty boring but its better then getting drunk and doing something stupid. Does this lonely feel ever go away?
Matt
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
My own personal experience is best explained in the last chapter of the Big Book of AA...
We have shown how we got out from under. You say, “Yes, I’m willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?”
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you
We have shown how we got out from under. You say, “Yes, I’m willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?”
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 150
Hey there,
I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm 101 days sober and I've also failed to stay sober MANY times before this...with my last 2 years of drinking been hidden, if you will. Drink before things but not during things, which was lying to myself and the hardest part of stopping completely this time.
However, like another poster mentioned, I really embraced AA. I had tried everything else in the world...I tried it on my own many times and failed. I was a miserable, bored sober person who thought, "F this, this life is booooring!"
But, I don't know how and I didn't believe it at first, but AA helps, ALOT. I just gave up 101 days ago and figured I'd try what has worked for millions of people. I did 90 meetings in 90 days and I hated meetings, now, I actually like them! I know people and it's nice to go into a meeting and know people, and smile, and have that connection. I still haven't developed a social network of sober people, but I can say I'm very happy and content sober - whereas when it was just me, I was miserable and bored.
There's a difference between working a program and being sober versus just being sober and dry. I'm 31 years old, so I'm still relatively young and my friends go out alot on the weekends and I've stayed away, but I've gone to meetings instead or hung out with my family or my boyfriend who doesn't drink either. It's a different life, but if you replace all the chaos with something else (a program) I've seen a HUGE difference in the quality of my life.
Give it a shot - it won't hurt. Maybe commit to going to 30 meetings in 30 days? Making yourself do it instead of wanting to do it can lead to wanting to do it on your own!
That's my 2 cents. Good luck!
I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm 101 days sober and I've also failed to stay sober MANY times before this...with my last 2 years of drinking been hidden, if you will. Drink before things but not during things, which was lying to myself and the hardest part of stopping completely this time.
However, like another poster mentioned, I really embraced AA. I had tried everything else in the world...I tried it on my own many times and failed. I was a miserable, bored sober person who thought, "F this, this life is booooring!"
But, I don't know how and I didn't believe it at first, but AA helps, ALOT. I just gave up 101 days ago and figured I'd try what has worked for millions of people. I did 90 meetings in 90 days and I hated meetings, now, I actually like them! I know people and it's nice to go into a meeting and know people, and smile, and have that connection. I still haven't developed a social network of sober people, but I can say I'm very happy and content sober - whereas when it was just me, I was miserable and bored.
There's a difference between working a program and being sober versus just being sober and dry. I'm 31 years old, so I'm still relatively young and my friends go out alot on the weekends and I've stayed away, but I've gone to meetings instead or hung out with my family or my boyfriend who doesn't drink either. It's a different life, but if you replace all the chaos with something else (a program) I've seen a HUGE difference in the quality of my life.
Give it a shot - it won't hurt. Maybe commit to going to 30 meetings in 30 days? Making yourself do it instead of wanting to do it can lead to wanting to do it on your own!
That's my 2 cents. Good luck!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by bbthumper 
My own personal experience is best explained in the last chapter of the Big Book of AA...
We have shown how we got out from under. You say, “Yes, I’m willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?”
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you
We have shown how we got out from under. You say, “Yes, I’m willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?”
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Flyersfan
So that basically says accept it and hang out with others in AA?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Unionville, PA
Posts: 141
Originally Posted by 773niki
Hey there,
I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm 101 days sober and I've also failed to stay sober MANY times before this...with my last 2 years of drinking been hidden, if you will. Drink before things but not during things, which was lying to myself and the hardest part of stopping completely this time.
However, like another poster mentioned, I really embraced AA. I had tried everything else in the world...I tried it on my own many times and failed. I was a miserable, bored sober person who thought, "F this, this life is booooring!"
But, I don't know how and I didn't believe it at first, but AA helps, ALOT. I just gave up 101 days ago and figured I'd try what has worked for millions of people. I did 90 meetings in 90 days and I hated meetings, now, I actually like them! I know people and it's nice to go into a meeting and know people, and smile, and have that connection. I still haven't developed a social network of sober people, but I can say I'm very happy and content sober - whereas when it was just me, I was miserable and bored.
There's a difference between working a program and being sober versus just being sober and dry. I'm 31 years old, so I'm still relatively young and my friends go out alot on the weekends and I've stayed away, but I've gone to meetings instead or hung out with my family or my boyfriend who doesn't drink either. It's a different life, but if you replace all the chaos with something else (a program) I've seen a HUGE difference in the quality of my life.
Give it a shot - it won't hurt. Maybe commit to going to 30 meetings in 30 days? Making yourself do it instead of wanting to do it can lead to wanting to do it on your own!
That's my 2 cents. Good luck!
I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm 101 days sober and I've also failed to stay sober MANY times before this...with my last 2 years of drinking been hidden, if you will. Drink before things but not during things, which was lying to myself and the hardest part of stopping completely this time.
However, like another poster mentioned, I really embraced AA. I had tried everything else in the world...I tried it on my own many times and failed. I was a miserable, bored sober person who thought, "F this, this life is booooring!"
But, I don't know how and I didn't believe it at first, but AA helps, ALOT. I just gave up 101 days ago and figured I'd try what has worked for millions of people. I did 90 meetings in 90 days and I hated meetings, now, I actually like them! I know people and it's nice to go into a meeting and know people, and smile, and have that connection. I still haven't developed a social network of sober people, but I can say I'm very happy and content sober - whereas when it was just me, I was miserable and bored.
There's a difference between working a program and being sober versus just being sober and dry. I'm 31 years old, so I'm still relatively young and my friends go out alot on the weekends and I've stayed away, but I've gone to meetings instead or hung out with my family or my boyfriend who doesn't drink either. It's a different life, but if you replace all the chaos with something else (a program) I've seen a HUGE difference in the quality of my life.
Give it a shot - it won't hurt. Maybe commit to going to 30 meetings in 30 days? Making yourself do it instead of wanting to do it can lead to wanting to do it on your own!
That's my 2 cents. Good luck!
It's good that you have a boyfriend that does not drink.. I broke up with a girlfriend I had for five years, she wasn't a big drinker and most the stuff we did was sober... so trying to replace that part of my life has been pretty difficult. Thank you both for the insight
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Flyersfan
Hi there, I am 29 so we are of similar age. I live in Unionville PA, are there meetings all over the place? The only meetings in my area that I know of was on Friday Night.
It's good that you have a boyfriend that does not drink.. I broke up with a girlfriend I had for five years, she wasn't a big drinker and most the stuff we did was sober... so trying to replace that part of my life has been pretty difficult. Thank you both for the insight
It's good that you have a boyfriend that does not drink.. I broke up with a girlfriend I had for five years, she wasn't a big drinker and most the stuff we did was sober... so trying to replace that part of my life has been pretty difficult. Thank you both for the insight
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Practice Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: KC missouri
Posts: 885
There is a reason I drank so much. It gave me energy, made me feel good, made me loose so I could talk to woman, it made life great. Then I hooked and it made life bad. I had to do some soul searching and rest. Then I took out a piece of paper and wrote out what I like to do. I was going to do my passions with the same level of effort that I did drinking. Drinking at first started out with me puking and barely being able to down a beer. So I knew starting my passions wouldn't really set me free. I started to put hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours into watching sports and blogging about sports. Soon it provided me a reward. Sobriety has it's ups or downs and if you are in pain make sure you are working towards an answer. I use AA but if you are in pain without AA make sure you do your best to address your problem. If you are tired take a day off see a doctor, if you aren't haven't fun..write out what you think would be fun and do them. If non of those work get some rest and think really hard how you can help other people. I hear you though 100% sobriety is built on blood sweat and tears. LOTS AND LOTS OF TEARS. You have to go through this stuff and grow towards a solution. It is the only way to build a life that you will love and be proud of.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 150
There's an app that you can get on your phone called "One Recovery" - it uses GPS to find meetings in your area. Maybe give that a shot. I live in Chicago, so there are meetings everywhere, so I got a little lucky.
I don's hang out with anyone in AA - I just see them at meetings, but for some reason, and I have no idea how, it helps get through a day in a positive way. Maybe try the Friday meeting and ask others where they go on other days?
I'm just telling you what has worked for me...not pushing it. But i have come to realize that you can't beat this thing on your own. It just is too much of a beast to conquer solo.
Also, there are sites for single and sober people...dating. Haha, I know it sucks!!
I don's hang out with anyone in AA - I just see them at meetings, but for some reason, and I have no idea how, it helps get through a day in a positive way. Maybe try the Friday meeting and ask others where they go on other days?
I'm just telling you what has worked for me...not pushing it. But i have come to realize that you can't beat this thing on your own. It just is too much of a beast to conquer solo.
Also, there are sites for single and sober people...dating. Haha, I know it sucks!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,445
There is usually a void to fill in our lives when we stop drinking and there are lots of healthy things to do.
Have you considered volunteer work? It was really good for me to be able to get outside of myself and it helped me to meet a lot of really wonderful people.
Have you considered volunteer work? It was really good for me to be able to get outside of myself and it helped me to meet a lot of really wonderful people.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 12
Yeah I felt the same way for a long time. When I got sober, I realized all my friends were 'bar people' and all we ever did was drink. So I got sort of lonely, but then I remembered some really great people in my life who had invited me to do non drinking things which while I was drinking believe me I was not interested in. It made me sad to think that I had sort of turned away from all these cool people in my life who wanted to actually have a genuine experience not just sit in a bar all afternoon. I also have found that I totally enjoy being alone whereas before that would have bummed me out in the extreme. Time to think about my recovery really helps me feel more centered and grounded. Now that I have a little more sober time I find people are far more inclined to spend time with me almost like they can see I'm living life in a positive way.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I am a bit behind you in my sober time but I too have stayed in on the weekends and not going anywhere where alcohol might be. I admit that I've been pretty lonely at times but at least I'm lonely and not drunk...and that means a lot to me. Do they have any recovery centers or recovery gathering places around you? My town has a place called Turning Point. Search around online and maybe you can find some additional resources. AA might be a good place to at least start. It doesn't mean you need to go forever, maybe just go to check it out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Unionville, PA
Posts: 141
Thank you I will def check out that App. I will start there and see where everything goes.
Looks like theres only one meeting in Unionville that I can find but some in Kennett Square I could try
Looks like theres only one meeting in Unionville that I can find but some in Kennett Square I could try
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
When I first got sober I pretty much holed up in my house, sat on my sofa, drinking soda, ticking the hours off...it was pretty much my old drinking life without the booze...I was sober but not much more than that.
We have to make changes to our lives sure - I had to move on from my social circle because it was all about drinking - but there's no need to be a hermit either - there are a million things to do that don't revolve around drinking and a million new friendships to make.
Anna's suggestion of volunteering was great for me...I recommend it too
Outside that, what are your hobbies and interests FF?
D
We have to make changes to our lives sure - I had to move on from my social circle because it was all about drinking - but there's no need to be a hermit either - there are a million things to do that don't revolve around drinking and a million new friendships to make.
Anna's suggestion of volunteering was great for me...I recommend it too
Outside that, what are your hobbies and interests FF?
D
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by Flyersfan
Hi all,
Ive been sober for 3 months now, I fell off a couple times prior. I found the best way to stay sober is to not go out on the weekends to anything drinking related (which is 95 percent of the activities) I haven't really seen any of my normal friends in probably six weeks. I still get urges to booze but I just pound maybe 12-15 cans of setzler water a day and just try to get through it.
Overall I find life is pretty boring but its better then getting drunk and doing something stupid. Does this lonely feel ever go away?
Matt
Ive been sober for 3 months now, I fell off a couple times prior. I found the best way to stay sober is to not go out on the weekends to anything drinking related (which is 95 percent of the activities) I haven't really seen any of my normal friends in probably six weeks. I still get urges to booze but I just pound maybe 12-15 cans of setzler water a day and just try to get through it.
Overall I find life is pretty boring but its better then getting drunk and doing something stupid. Does this lonely feel ever go away?
Matt
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