FreeFall

Lost, I'd probably feel similar to how you're feeling in that situation. Maybe due to you feel like you're in it together and then feel like you're by yourself and it's a let down? I see "sober" as black and white so being awarded a 3 year chip while using drugs the whole time seems crazy to me. However, if AA is strictly about not drinking then she deserves the chip because she didn't drink following that logic. I can see where you'd feel confused. As for the other, I guess all you can do is offer support and not take it personally. If you need to distance yourself just take the space you need. You might feel differently after it's all had a chance to sink in.

tomsteve

i was thinking about this when i was reading through the posts. have seen quite a few peple who dont seem to get their amount of recovery time right. one week its 7 years, the next its 3, then 5. i have also seen people get ther chips while reaking of alcohol. then others get it and go on to be a bobblehead during the meeting.
how do i feel about it today? welp, if they dont want to be honest, its their problem. if they decide they want to get honest, i'll help. i think some people dont realize that AA is the largest old bul***itters club there is.
i am also glad to see them at a meeting. the world is safe for that time.
to thine own self be true.

Elisabeth888

We had a drunk guy leading meetings until group conscience got involved. It is a bull crappers club to .sure

isinganyway

You sound jealous, which is fine. You don't think it's fair that she lies and gets away with it while you're working much harder. Unfortunately, life isn't fair. The best rewards are internal - recovering, knowing you are living a good life and doing the right thing, being present in the world. You can never control what others will do to get ahead - cheating on their taxes, lying about their sobriety, taking Adderall to study. You're right, it ISN'T fair. But then neither is the world... I'd focus on being happy with your own successes and not letting other people undermine your definition of success and happiness.

BillyWeaver

First of all, your dog looks awesome and I am kinda jealous he/she does not belong to me

Secondly, I very much agree with the above post. Very well said.

Fallow

Im not in anyway saying I dont care. I care lots. I know the pain of being an active alcoholic/drunk, whatever you call it. Its a nightmare I cant believe I forget.

I just have to accept that everyone is on their own journey. Nobody could ever stop me from doing anything. Some left a nugget of wisdom to grow on though. Many times just through how they acted or reacted.

Lost3000

Yeah, that's a lot of how I feel. Like we were in it together. I also feel the same about the 3 yr chip and doing weed. I guess I just don't agree with it.

Lost3000

HA! Interesting. I have noticed that too. Someone told me they were 3 years sober, then the next month took a 2 year chip. Totally - it's their deal if they don't want to get honest about it. And I'm so glad it's not me!

"The largest old bul***itters club" -- LOL.

Lost3000

Hmmm, no. I can see how you might read into it that way, but that's honestly not how I feel. The jealous part anyway. I do think it's unfair to not just me but all the others who are going thru life stone cold sober and she's doing drugs while getting a chip. Kind of sends the wrong message to all the other newcomers. Some are on their first week or day, or 30 days, and then they see this girl get a 3 yr chip while admitting to smoking pot the whole time. Kind of just wrong.

I found this out a few days ago - so am coming full circle. I don't feel as strongly about it or as shocked about it now. It's totally their deal. I am very glad it's not me, I am sober and happy.

Lost3000

Yeah, I can relate. Or understand where you are coming from. Acceptance is key for me and I'm working hard on it. Thanks for your thoughts.

tomsteve

when i got into AA( and had also stopped drinking) my now sponsor seemed to always be in one of the chairs across from me at meetings. after i'd get sone sharing, he'd say one of 2 things:
"its yer lie"
or
"yer eyes can sparkle and yer teeth can glitter
but ya cant bul**hit and old bul**hitter."

took me a bit to see my whole life was one huge lie, but without him callin me out, i doubt id see it, get to hatin him, then come to respecting what he had to say.