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Old 02-04-2013, 07:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy

111 days and bored with sobriety/scared of relapse :(


I am sober 111 days today... however I am feeling really upset/sad, with a lot of strong cravings beginning every evening. I am in AA but I am also in grad school and I don't have time to make a lot of meetings. I really don't want to go out but I miss the escape of drinking and weed.. I was floating on the pink cloud for a while but now everyday life is just really hard and boring. I want to get better but it's really hard to deal with my feelings... any suggestions?
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Old 02-04-2013, 07:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
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there's always room for self-reflection. Question why 'boredom' is such a problem for you. Why must you always be stimulated in some manner?
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Old 02-04-2013, 07:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I share your problem with boredom. For me, changing up my routine really helps. It says you live in NYC? Get on a bus, a train, and just explore another neighborhood. There's so much variety in New York, you forget to take advantage of it. I live in Chicago and often make the same mistake. I find it helps shake the blues.
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:04 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I think it took me about 6 months to feel like I was on solid ground. I think some of it can even be chemical. You might want to read a little bit about PAWS (I grabbed an article from the internet - see below):
Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) | What...Me Sober?

I had some problems with depression predating my drinking, so I knew that would also come into play when I got sober. I think it helps to see our issues/feelings as separate from our drinking and get the extra help we need.

I hope you feel better soon. :ghug3 Thanks for posting about this.....I think we all go through these things. Just remember that alcohol isn't a solution. (Are you doing anything for your recovery on a regular basis?)
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Thank you all! Sounds like PAWs to me since it's been almost 4 months... plus I need to get back to therapy, it's been a few weeks... thank you
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Another thing: If you have time to use, you have time to go to a meeting.
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:38 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Another thing: If you have time to use, you have time to go to a meeting.
haha well that's the thing i only drank on the weekends cause i didn't have time to be hungover during the week... i'm doing my best. it doesn't help that it's an hour commute in both directions on public transit...
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I think balance is also important

I know grad school is tough but make sure you're giving yourself down time - there must be things you like to do to relax, or would like to do...

It will help the quality of your work too, trust me

a balanced life means less chance of those crazy spur of the moment 'I need to escape' freak outs grabbing control of your cerebral cortex....

D
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:45 PM   #9 (permalink)
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wow, PAWS

Thanks artsoul! Tomorrow is one month for me, so I have a long way to go. I have relapsed frequently, but this time around I am hitting SR several times a day whether I have urges or not. Tonight I feel that I've made a real find in your post. I went to the link you put up for PAWS (Post-Acute Withdrawl Syndrome). I read through much of the page and found it fascinating. I've often found my serious (multi-month) periods of sobriety spoiled by the dumbest behaviour on my part. I think some of the suggestions on the PAWS page are well worth trying out. Thanks again.
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:51 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Thank you so much for the helpful article. It speaks volumes.
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:53 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by isinganyway View Post
I want to get better but it's really hard to deal with my feelings... any suggestions?
It's in not dealing with our feelings, or not wanting to, that creates much of our emotional (and then physical) landscape. Drinking was one way of avoiding dealing with feelings. When we take away our coping mechanisms, those feelings are still there, now we can't medicate ourselves away from them.

If you're not hitting meetings, are toughing it out at grad school and bottling things up (no therapy you mentioned), then something is going to give eventually. What do you think the first thing will be? Working the program of AA (you mentioned meetings, assumed you're in AA), getting a sponsor, balancing your life, seeing your therapist...these will not only keep you busy (bye bye boredom!) but you'll start to deal with all the deadwood kicking around. With that deadwood gone, you have more space in you to fill with positive things. That has been my experience in my sobriety.

It's out there for you. I didn't need a pink cloud to keep me afloat - I just needed to do some action.

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Old 02-04-2013, 09:15 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I have been having some ,"Is this all there is?" moments. I have been sober for as long as you have. In the beginning, the struggle was encompassing, as time passed I felt at more at ease. I had an awakening. I became productive and positive. It is exciting! I am settling in to being sober. I am getting used to it and I expect to remain this way. What I am doing now is changing my living space. New colors. Cleaning a room that has been untouched in the past 4 years. It's like the challenge of staying sober is not eating me alive anymore. Can you find a new challenge? Something you never would have attempted while drinking or using?
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Old 02-04-2013, 09:30 PM   #13 (permalink)
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isinganyway, you've already received some good advice. I'd just add that for me it was important to remember that boredom, relationships, work, my overall happiness—those aren't necessarily recovery issues. They're life issues, things all people face. In a way the fact we're facing them is proof that we're now living a healthy, normal life. And if we want to change, we can look at the same kinds of solutions that people outside of recovery use.

Sobriety may not be the whole solution, but it's most certainly not the problem.

Last edited by ReadyAndAble; 02-04-2013 at 09:32 PM. Reason: change "not living" to "now living"
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:19 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Thank you all so much for the amazing advice! It means SO MUCH to me..
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