Quitting without AA
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Any method that works is the right way to quit. Not everyone feels comfortable around anonymous strangers or attending meetings with members of their community, both of these statements apply to me.
I am over 6 months sober after getting drunk every night for 35 years and I have only used my will and this great support group here at SR. If you have the motivation, will and desire it is possible to stop on your own.
Everybody is different though, the trick is figuring out what works for you.
Good Luck and make sure you let us know how you are doing! We never close!
I am over 6 months sober after getting drunk every night for 35 years and I have only used my will and this great support group here at SR. If you have the motivation, will and desire it is possible to stop on your own.
Everybody is different though, the trick is figuring out what works for you.
Good Luck and make sure you let us know how you are doing! We never close!
Been there, done that!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: London
Posts: 539
Weeelll, I don't know about that.
People who don't NEED AA (and not every alcoholic necessarily does) can find other ways to stay sober. Those who cannot stay sober any other way often have initial difficulty staying sober in AA, too. Relapses are not unusual no matter what you do to quit drinking.
But accurate statistics on AA are hard to come by. From what I have seen in the rooms, most people who work the program eventually do stay sober for a substantial amount of time. Yes, relapses can happen in AA, too, even after years of sobriety.
I certainly don't believe someone is "statistically more likely to stay sober" outside of AA than in it. Moreover, not everyone who goes to AA works the program--meeting attendance is often counted when people are looking at AA "success," and that's a poor measure.
Alcohol has been around for atleast 5000 years thats when the first beer was found. AA has been around for 80 ish years, humans have been giving up alcohol for alot longer than AA has been around, you do the maths. Or do you believe that every alcoholic from 5000 years back has died as a result of aa not being around??
And studies are out there to back up that stopping on your own is more succeful than a traditional programme google it, also the book sober for good has some great stats init!
People who don't NEED AA (and not every alcoholic necessarily does) can find other ways to stay sober. Those who cannot stay sober any other way often have initial difficulty staying sober in AA, too. Relapses are not unusual no matter what you do to quit drinking.
But accurate statistics on AA are hard to come by. From what I have seen in the rooms, most people who work the program eventually do stay sober for a substantial amount of time. Yes, relapses can happen in AA, too, even after years of sobriety.
I certainly don't believe someone is "statistically more likely to stay sober" outside of AA than in it. Moreover, not everyone who goes to AA works the program--meeting attendance is often counted when people are looking at AA "success," and that's a poor measure.
Alcohol has been around for atleast 5000 years thats when the first beer was found. AA has been around for 80 ish years, humans have been giving up alcohol for alot longer than AA has been around, you do the maths. Or do you believe that every alcoholic from 5000 years back has died as a result of aa not being around??
And studies are out there to back up that stopping on your own is more succeful than a traditional programme google it, also the book sober for good has some great stats init!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I have attended over 100 AA meetings and read the Big Book. While I don't think the AA 12-step approach is my path to sobriety, I find great value in attending meetings where people share. Sometimes I share. It's like free group therapy. I often feel better after a meeting.
One thing I have learned about recovered alcoholics is that they like to try to help newcomers to recovery. It helps them stay sober. That's not a bad thing. You might meet some people at an AA meeting who are a bit overbearing and overzealous about AA. It can be off-putting, especially when you're just checking it out to see if it's for you. Some of these guys come at you like a fire and brimstone evangelist.
Don't let it put you off. If approached by such a person, just remember that AA likely saved his life when nothing else did, and he is just trying to pass it along. Listen politely, then, move along and talk to someone else. Not all AA members are like that.
One thing I have learned about recovered alcoholics is that they like to try to help newcomers to recovery. It helps them stay sober. That's not a bad thing. You might meet some people at an AA meeting who are a bit overbearing and overzealous about AA. It can be off-putting, especially when you're just checking it out to see if it's for you. Some of these guys come at you like a fire and brimstone evangelist.
Don't let it put you off. If approached by such a person, just remember that AA likely saved his life when nothing else did, and he is just trying to pass it along. Listen politely, then, move along and talk to someone else. Not all AA members are like that.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by Lionhearted1 
Weeelll, I don't know about that.
People who don't NEED AA (and not every alcoholic necessarily does) can find other ways to stay sober. Those who cannot stay sober any other way often have initial difficulty staying sober in AA, too. Relapses are not unusual no matter what you do to quit drinking.
But accurate statistics on AA are hard to come by. From what I have seen in the rooms, most people who work the program eventually do stay sober for a substantial amount of time. Yes, relapses can happen in AA, too, even after years of sobriety.
I certainly don't believe someone is "statistically more likely to stay sober" outside of AA than in it. Moreover, not everyone who goes to AA works the program--meeting attendance is often counted when people are looking at AA "success," and that's a poor measure.
Alcohol has been around for atleast 5000 years thats when the first beer was found. AA has been around for 80 ish years, humans have been giving up alcohol for alot longer than AA has been around, you do the maths. Or do you believe that every alcoholic from 5000 years back has died as a result of aa not being around??
And studies are out there to back up that stopping on your own is more succeful than a traditional programme google it, also the book sober for good has some great stats init!
People who don't NEED AA (and not every alcoholic necessarily does) can find other ways to stay sober. Those who cannot stay sober any other way often have initial difficulty staying sober in AA, too. Relapses are not unusual no matter what you do to quit drinking.
But accurate statistics on AA are hard to come by. From what I have seen in the rooms, most people who work the program eventually do stay sober for a substantial amount of time. Yes, relapses can happen in AA, too, even after years of sobriety.
I certainly don't believe someone is "statistically more likely to stay sober" outside of AA than in it. Moreover, not everyone who goes to AA works the program--meeting attendance is often counted when people are looking at AA "success," and that's a poor measure.
Alcohol has been around for atleast 5000 years thats when the first beer was found. AA has been around for 80 ish years, humans have been giving up alcohol for alot longer than AA has been around, you do the maths. Or do you believe that every alcoholic from 5000 years back has died as a result of aa not being around??
And studies are out there to back up that stopping on your own is more succeful than a traditional programme google it, also the book sober for good has some great stats init!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: nh
Posts: 90
I quit without AA. I'm only 7 months in but that's okay. My grandfather before me quit without AA. He was sober 15 years I think before he died.
So-yes-I think it is possible for sure and one can be successful. But if it's what you need, it's what you need. Ya know? I mean-people quit without going to in-patient rehab all the time. However, some people NEED to go to an in-patient rehab.
So-yes-I think it is possible for sure and one can be successful. But if it's what you need, it's what you need. Ya know? I mean-people quit without going to in-patient rehab all the time. However, some people NEED to go to an in-patient rehab.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by ntmu
I really enjoyed this thread, it's given me hope. A good friend of mine asked me to attend meetings for a year & I want to do it, but some of it has been really stressing me out & I'm already dealing with trauma.
I plan to continue and be supportive, but will they understand if I integrate other methods too & not become a hardcore member? Assuming we have the same goal, to be sober.
Maybe this question belongs in a different area.., I'm new here.
I plan to continue and be supportive, but will they understand if I integrate other methods too & not become a hardcore member? Assuming we have the same goal, to be sober.
Maybe this question belongs in a different area.., I'm new here.
A month later it has gotten better and for me it's the best decision I've ever made. I have a long way to go but when I compare the past month to quitting on my own it's a lot easier with support from people who understand what I'm dealing with - again this is is my experience.
And yes there are things with AA I have trouble accepting but I do have an open mind and I love to listen and learn from others. I don't have a sponsor because I'm not ready for one and no one is pressuring me to get one. I have been on Step 1 for the month and tried Step 2 but I like Step 1 so I'm staying with that for a bit
They say to work the Steps and maybe I will when I'm ready but I'm sober today and have been for over a month without all the head games of obsessing about drinking. I feel better as a person, my family is proud of me and I walk out of every meeting feeling like I've made some kind of progress in my life which makes me want to return to continue the journey.I have made friends I txt with about everything, not just about AA. I was an after work shut-in but now I meet people for coffee and just talk.
I guess what I'm saying is give it a try, it works for some people and no harm can come from attending a meeting. If you don't like it you're not signed up to go back. I resisted going for years and now I'm kicking myself for not starting this process a long long time ago.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: vancouver,BC
Posts: 85
Thank You all so much.This has given me so much hope as I have been to quite a few AA Meetings before and they made me feel like if I didn't get help with AA I would be doomed forever drinking.I know AA works for many but I felt uncomfortable,like I didn't fit in and honestly felt so hopeless that I wanted to have a drink after the meeting.
I am googling every support site out there and want sobriety more than anything right now.Again Thanks to all for the support.
I am googling every support site out there and want sobriety more than anything right now.Again Thanks to all for the support.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Mass
Posts: 189
Originally Posted by cheeto
I felt uncomfortable,like I didn't fit in and honestly felt so hopeless that I wanted to have a drink after the meeting.
Quitting alone is so hard to do. I wish you luck, but it didn't work for me and I gave up and asked for help after 2 long and depressing years. Don't let this beat you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dallas
Posts: 86
Most definitely one can choose to quit drinking without AA. I began my sobriety using the AA steps as a guide. The steps helped me to begin to learn the meaning of being humble and during this process I discovered accountability but most importantly I discovered that I was not a victim.
The process of self discovery I hope will never end for me. I personally owe a lot to AA and I will always be eternally grateful for the tools I discovered during that part of my journey.
I was sober for 5 years and I personally needed to move past my AA life and move into the next part of my journey. I know today that I am not powerless, I always had a choice.
So what is addiction/s? For me it's whatever I choose at that moment that makes me feel complete.
The AA program for me was a very powerful stepping stone and not a revolving door. We are not powerless.
Happy journey :-)
Love
CS
The process of self discovery I hope will never end for me. I personally owe a lot to AA and I will always be eternally grateful for the tools I discovered during that part of my journey.
I was sober for 5 years and I personally needed to move past my AA life and move into the next part of my journey. I know today that I am not powerless, I always had a choice.
So what is addiction/s? For me it's whatever I choose at that moment that makes me feel complete.
The AA program for me was a very powerful stepping stone and not a revolving door. We are not powerless.
Happy journey :-)
Love
CS
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
I think the idea of powerlessness in AA is very misunderstood. I consider myself powerless over alcohol. Meaning to me, that if I pick up a drink... the drink is going to have it's way with me. I am powerless over certain other things in my life that I believe we all are, such as other people, the weather, etc. As far as my own power is concerned I have plenty of power. And the idea of my turning my life and will over to the care of god, does not mean that I'm believing I have no power, and that god is going to take care of everything. Or anything for that matter. It means that I believe there is a power in the universe that is greater than myself, and I conscicouly turn all that I am over to it's care. I'm not giving up my free will, my choice, my power, or anything. I'm simply trusting that it's under the care of a power much greater than my own.
I never considered myself powerless, nor helpless. Never considered myself a victim either. Sick person yes, victim never really even entered my thoughts. I still attend AA a couple of times a week because it continues to open doors for me, and gives me a great opportunity to get out of my own head. Gives me lots of opportunity to help others also. AA is not my life. It was a bridge back to an incredibly full life and I'm grateful to it for that. I have no reason to walk away from it because it continues you bring me new expereriences, growth, and happiness. I've got lots of friends there too.
I never considered myself powerless, nor helpless. Never considered myself a victim either. Sick person yes, victim never really even entered my thoughts. I still attend AA a couple of times a week because it continues to open doors for me, and gives me a great opportunity to get out of my own head. Gives me lots of opportunity to help others also. AA is not my life. It was a bridge back to an incredibly full life and I'm grateful to it for that. I have no reason to walk away from it because it continues you bring me new expereriences, growth, and happiness. I've got lots of friends there too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dallas
Posts: 86
I am not powerless over my choices!!!
Hello all,
First and foremost I want to thank everyone on this forum as well as the countless others that have been there for me over the years.
To me the concept of admitting to be powerless over anything that I have a choice over is to give that thing power over me. I know today that all choices have a consequence whether I am instantly aware of it/them or will be in the future it is irrelevant.
I also know today that there are many things that I have no control over. However, I do have control over my choices i.e., how I think about others, what I say to or about others, what I eat or drink, all of these things are choices.
For me after being in the AA program for 5 years the one thing that I had always questioned was the concept of being powerless. The belief of thinking that I was powerless was what I had unknowingly believed for most of my life .i.e., blaming others for my circumstances, my life problems, etc.
So, what’s the very first choice that I made? I admit that I am powerless over alcohol. For me this belief or step enabled or should I say led me to believe there again that I was powerless and when I made a choice to believe this, surrendered my power of choice.
Can this really be a healthy choice?
I came into the program beaten down from a lifetime of personal choices, completely humbled and the first thing I am told is that I am powerless.
I most definitely could not deny that my life was unmanageable when I entered the doors of the program. My life was unmanageable due to a lifetime of choices and a way of living, thinking and believing that led to a place of being teachable or humbled. These were my choices and no one else’s.
Sure I have been exposed to things or events that I had no choice over, however, I always had the choice as to how I chose to respond or think about any of these things. Have I always known that I had this ability to choose? Obviously not
Today I know that I have always had a choice.
So what’s the 2nd choice that I made? I admitted that I was insane (Wow) and that someone or something outside of me was going to fix that. This is where over time it began to get very confusing for me.
I yet again chose to believe that God or Source could restore my sanity (?) and therefore again chose to relinquish my power of choice and personal accountability to someone or something outside of myself.
I believe with all of my heart and soul in God or Source of which I believe we all come from. I believe that each person most definitely has a choice to believe in this Source or not.
Does this mean that God or Source is not there either knowingly or unknowingly? I believe that everyone has this assistance. Whether one believes in this God or Source or not to me is not important.
For me I needed to believe in myself first.
The one true thing that we have is free will choice. Does this mean that God or Source will make these choices for me? Absolutely not! Does this relieve me of being responsible, accountable or nice, etc? Absolutely not!
For me, it is all about my choices!!
My 3rd choice was to turn my will and life over to the care of God or Source as I understood him or her?
I sit here now and I say, Wow!!
More to be revealed.......
Love
CS
First and foremost I want to thank everyone on this forum as well as the countless others that have been there for me over the years.
To me the concept of admitting to be powerless over anything that I have a choice over is to give that thing power over me. I know today that all choices have a consequence whether I am instantly aware of it/them or will be in the future it is irrelevant.
I also know today that there are many things that I have no control over. However, I do have control over my choices i.e., how I think about others, what I say to or about others, what I eat or drink, all of these things are choices.
For me after being in the AA program for 5 years the one thing that I had always questioned was the concept of being powerless. The belief of thinking that I was powerless was what I had unknowingly believed for most of my life .i.e., blaming others for my circumstances, my life problems, etc.
So, what’s the very first choice that I made? I admit that I am powerless over alcohol. For me this belief or step enabled or should I say led me to believe there again that I was powerless and when I made a choice to believe this, surrendered my power of choice.
Can this really be a healthy choice?
I came into the program beaten down from a lifetime of personal choices, completely humbled and the first thing I am told is that I am powerless.
I most definitely could not deny that my life was unmanageable when I entered the doors of the program. My life was unmanageable due to a lifetime of choices and a way of living, thinking and believing that led to a place of being teachable or humbled. These were my choices and no one else’s.
Sure I have been exposed to things or events that I had no choice over, however, I always had the choice as to how I chose to respond or think about any of these things. Have I always known that I had this ability to choose? Obviously not
Today I know that I have always had a choice.
So what’s the 2nd choice that I made? I admitted that I was insane (Wow) and that someone or something outside of me was going to fix that. This is where over time it began to get very confusing for me.
I yet again chose to believe that God or Source could restore my sanity (?) and therefore again chose to relinquish my power of choice and personal accountability to someone or something outside of myself.
I believe with all of my heart and soul in God or Source of which I believe we all come from. I believe that each person most definitely has a choice to believe in this Source or not.
Does this mean that God or Source is not there either knowingly or unknowingly? I believe that everyone has this assistance. Whether one believes in this God or Source or not to me is not important.
For me I needed to believe in myself first.
The one true thing that we have is free will choice. Does this mean that God or Source will make these choices for me? Absolutely not! Does this relieve me of being responsible, accountable or nice, etc? Absolutely not!
For me, it is all about my choices!!
My 3rd choice was to turn my will and life over to the care of God or Source as I understood him or her?
I sit here now and I say, Wow!!
More to be revealed.......
Love
CS
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
People can and do recover without AA or NA. I cannot recover without NA. Been there and tried it. Recovery is very much a horses for courses type of affair. Bottom line is that it doesn't matter how you recover as long as you do it.
Natom.
Natom.
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