keep messing up
 

Seems i cant get past 4 days. Money is a trigger. So is Friday (payday)
I used to think loneliness was but now I have that covered I still have used (crack) the past two Fridays and am messing that up. I have a girl I recently met who would probably dump me if she ever found out. I have every day covered , between my family two wonderful grandchildren and the girlfriend. I plan to go to meeting on Wed and every Wed after that. My question is has anybody done recovery without Rehab. My habit is probably going on30 years. I have the support thing covered please help this is the best shot I have ever had

Tricky.... I stopped using. Stopping using and coming down is a skin crawling experience for me. But now that it has been some time the cravings have lessened.

30 years sounds like it is a real mental addiction over a physical addiction. I never had any pysical need for smoking. I did have very compulsive emotional needs.

I would recommend rehab but also understand that it will do nothing for you unless the true desire to stop is there.

It took a lot for me to stop. Many many tries. So don't stop trying. It's possible... It's worth it.

I had a lot of shame saying I did crack. I told no one other than my druggie friends. Actually I would always find new people to share it with and took many risks with safety. It's crazy.

Time is a trigger for me. Fridays were the same thing. Leave work early to get it... Horrible.

You can stop this. It's possible. I have a therapist I see to talk about what I was doing. Be responsible to. Share why I did it. I recommend that.

Here to support you if I can.

Ken

triky, the thing with be honest with others is that it keeps us accountable for what we're doing. If you're still hiding it then you're setting yourself up to keep using.

Rehab is always an option, I work in a treatment center, have been to rehab myself and I think it's the best thing anyone can do if they really want to get sober, stay sober and have a wonderful sober life.

Your post was short, but the one and only thing that stuck out was that you're hiding it. Hope you can get past all of that and thanks for sharing. ;)

I am trying to be accountable. I just met new girlfriend a non user and i see no good that could come if she knew. She is my future my friend. I would rather keep it from her than risk losing her. About me I used powder mostly on Fridays for 20 years starting around 1980.
Then aound 2005 a neighbor lady brought me crack instead of powder . Then on from their. 7 years using rock. Needless to say bills go unpaid so on and so on i think u all been their. I think I am ready

Ultimately you have to be accountable to yourself. I didn't go to rehab, but depended on some really helpful books to guide me spiritually and I eventually found SR where I have remained for many years.

I hope you choose to do whateve works for you and I wish you all the best.

Try not to think of your triggers as something that will trip you up, rather as something you are aware of and can get through clean and sober. Commit to never using no matter what, no matter how bad you feel. It won't necessarily be easy but then nothing worth having ever is. Read lots of recovery stuff, post here often, whatever you need to do to help yourself x

Hi triky. I'm glad you shared this with us and are willing to discuss it. That's always a good sign.

I stopped drinking without rehab. Like Ann, I mostly relied on books and SR. I had no choice but to quit, though - I was going to lose my life, so I was highly motivated. I also had my bad habit for around 30 yrs. I now have 5 yrs. off alcohol, so I know you can do this.