MyTimeNow

Oh good. I'm logging on to back handed compliments now. Sigh.

soberlicious

GT is right. AVRT can and does help many people break through. But it cannot be "used" on another. This is bearing in mind the difference between Chemically Dependent and Addicted. There is an important distinction.

Another important point with this paradigm: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. The beauty with this approach is though...often when you point someone toward the water and believe in their capability, they do indeed find the stream and drink from it. Much to their own surprise.

TrixMixer

Thanks Soberlicious! Alway's the voice of reason and understanding. You really do get ALL sides of the issue.

soberlicious

Well, I do understand both sides of this issue for sure. My sister and I "switched places on the gurney", literally and figuratively.

I told my mom that I want to "punch my sister in her face" because she just won't listen to any of us, most specifically ME lol. I know, though, that the punching won't accomplish anything, so I refrain. Doesn't mean I don't want to...

I get the frustration. I also get the resistance to "help".

legna

There is, in my experience, no such thing as a social heroin user. I think that helps heroin addicts not to fall into this type of thinking as easily as someone with a drinking problem. I chose the phrase 'drinking problem' rather than 'alcoholic' for a reason incidentally...

Friday morning I spoke with a fellow with two and a half months sobriety. He self described himself as the worst alcoholic he has ever seen. He described going to work drunk on many occasions, paying his rent late almost every month, even drinking in his hotel room after his daughter went to sleep while hey were visiting Disneyland, etc. He also wonders if he might, someday, be able to control his drinking.

The bottom has been raised significantly since I crawled into recovery. It had been years since I was able to hold a job, there's no rent to pay in the gutter, and a trip to Disneyland sounded like ...well, Disney based fantasy. There are benefits and drawbacks (imo) to the bottom having been raised to its current position. One of the drawbacks (again, imo) is that it often, while a terrible life, wasn't so terrible that one couldn't entertain such thoughts.

Most of the low bottom alcoholics that I've seen pick up again after long term sobriety (and there have been precious few) have, rather than suffering from the delusion that they will now be able to drink socially, been trying to commit suicide.

jaimielynne909

Alcoholism is the only diseaee that tells us we don't have a disease. ..that it will be different this time or that we will find the perfect combo that doesn't shoot us to that drunken stupor. Its completely normal to have that thinking. But that's just it ....thinking is our problem. Ince we are armed with the facts of ourseves and the disease and we still believe we can have just one the book actually suggests we try controlled drinking. Here's the problem with that....pray you can get back if you need to. Once that allergy is triggered and obsession kicks in who knows if you will be able to get back. I've been to too many funerals of people who thought they could have just one. Cunning baffling and powerful. And who really wants just one? I personally want to be drunk...oblivion. ... knowing that's normal thinking but saying it out loud to someone who cares will help. The disease wants us loaded don't forget. Pray pray pray and help someone else.

Valll

Don't let yourself overthink it..

Just don't drink it.

Val x

TrixMixer

Hi jaimielynne,

That is why I NEVER took another drink once I stopped--fear of not being able to stop again. It was not out of strength that stopped me but rather weakness of future willpower.

Somewhere it is actually written that we should try controlled drinking?? What an odd thing to say, and dangerous.

eveleivibe

Not being funny but violence is not the answer n it is hypocritical if you were once in a silimar situation. Surely you'd have understanding. I would not listen to someone using tough love approach with me if they had once done it themself as i'd think they were being hypocritical. No offence. Just my opinion.

soberlicious

Obviously you missed the point of my post. I wasn't advocating violence. Read more carefully.