Jer2911

Hi. I'm a newbee and need a little guidance. My husband is an Adult Child of Alcoholics (both parents). He has had a hard upbringing and his style of communication (which I think he learned at home) is diffucult for me to understand. He bottles things up and then explodes when I want to discuss something that he thinks is "silly" or has already been resolved.

He rarely drinks and we don't even have alcohol in the house, however, I feel his anger stems from his parents' addictions and behaviors. We are very happy and are great friends 80% of the time, but he is unpredictable in that I don't know when he is frustrated until it is too late.

The first time I wtinessed his temper I thought "Who did I actually marry?" He says I set him off when I try to talk to him. I have suggested we go to al-anon, and he agrees it might help, but then never follows through, saying he does not have anger issues.

He has attacked me many times one evening in Dec. and now threatens to "grab me and shake" me when he wants me out of the room. The more I try to help, the more angry he seems to get. My greatest concern for him is the anger and his inability to express his thoughts before he becomes so out of control. I don't want to be hurt physically again- it's scary.

I need help for myself. I want to learn how to stop this unhealthy cycle in my marriage and how to best deal with his parents- still heavy drinkers at over 55 years old.

Thank you all,
jer2911

Dan

http://www.adultchildren.org/
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...splay.php?f=50
Here's a quick link that may be of some help. Stick around. There are others here who can help. And no one has a right to assault another person for any reason.

Anna

Hi Jer,

I believe that if there is violence in the relationship, then you need to leave. It's that simple. You say he has attacked you. You say he threatens to grab you and shake you. Leave him and take care of yourself. There is no need to be in an unsafe situation.

There is a forum on this board for Adult Children of Alcoholics which may help you with information as well.

Love, Anna

Jer2911

Thanks, Anna....it's so good to finally have folks to talk to about all this!

Jer2911

Thanks Dan...what a relief to get all that off my mind, for awhile at least. And I wrote down those links, too.