2 weeks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Meridian, MS
Posts: 57
2 weeks
I've been lurking here for a while and have garnered much strength and hope from the pages of this forum. In light of what is going on in my life right now, thought it'd be a good time to join the fray.
I am in my late thirties and have been a problem drinker for my entire adult life. It had gotten to the point I was binging once or twice a week with a six pack of "tall boys" thrown in most other nights. I can't tell you how many times I awoke in the morning hoping that I didn't have a hangover--that I hadn't drank the night before. There's nothing worse than opening your eyes in the morning to the physical and, even worse, the mental anguish from a night of drinking.
About two years ago I was introduced (or formally introduced, as it were) to opiates after a car wreck that injured my back. I had dabbled with pain pills before after dentist procedures and the like, and, in retrospect I had probably experienced mild withdrawals before that I never attributed as such. But, when the pharmacist handed me that huge bottle of 120 10s, I fell in love. So began a two year spiral of running out, going through withdrawals, and counting days till that magical refill. Oh, there were a few earnest attempts at quitting, but I never seemed to be able to withstand the depression that followed physical withdrawals.
Anyway, I'll fill in more details later but suffice it to say that I am two weeks clean from opiates and I've, somehow, managed to stay clean through my father's passing. I am also several weeks clean from alcohol although if there is one silver lining in my drug abuse it's that I never really wanted to drink (and still don't) while I was using. More about that later, as well. Thank you all again for what you have shared and I look forward to contributing to ths great forum.
I am in my late thirties and have been a problem drinker for my entire adult life. It had gotten to the point I was binging once or twice a week with a six pack of "tall boys" thrown in most other nights. I can't tell you how many times I awoke in the morning hoping that I didn't have a hangover--that I hadn't drank the night before. There's nothing worse than opening your eyes in the morning to the physical and, even worse, the mental anguish from a night of drinking.
About two years ago I was introduced (or formally introduced, as it were) to opiates after a car wreck that injured my back. I had dabbled with pain pills before after dentist procedures and the like, and, in retrospect I had probably experienced mild withdrawals before that I never attributed as such. But, when the pharmacist handed me that huge bottle of 120 10s, I fell in love. So began a two year spiral of running out, going through withdrawals, and counting days till that magical refill. Oh, there were a few earnest attempts at quitting, but I never seemed to be able to withstand the depression that followed physical withdrawals.
Anyway, I'll fill in more details later but suffice it to say that I am two weeks clean from opiates and I've, somehow, managed to stay clean through my father's passing. I am also several weeks clean from alcohol although if there is one silver lining in my drug abuse it's that I never really wanted to drink (and still don't) while I was using. More about that later, as well. Thank you all again for what you have shared and I look forward to contributing to ths great forum.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome LivingStronger. It's great to have you join us.
My sympathy for the loss of your father. Staying sober during that time must've been so hard, but you made it. Each time we get over a hurdle we are strengthened. You sound determined to reclaim your life. I remember those horrible hungover mornings, too. I can't believe I accepted them as a normal part of my life. Never again.
We're very happy to have you here. Congratulations on your 2 wks. clean.
My sympathy for the loss of your father. Staying sober during that time must've been so hard, but you made it. Each time we get over a hurdle we are strengthened. You sound determined to reclaim your life. I remember those horrible hungover mornings, too. I can't believe I accepted them as a normal part of my life. Never again.
We're very happy to have you here. Congratulations on your 2 wks. clean.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Meridian, MS
Posts: 57
Thanks all for the warm welcomes and condolences! I have really taken a hard inventory of what i have done in the past and carefully considered what I will do different ths time around and joining this forum was near the top of my list.
I will say that at about day 8 I was within a button-push of calling in for a refill. The depression was suffocating, it was as if I desperately needed to get far away from myself but I knew that was impossible. I literally couldn't think of anything to do or anywhere to go for relief. I prayed (begged) harder than I have ever prayed before, the kind of prayer that leaves your head throbbing and sweat beads and tears rolling down your face. I didn't dial that number, and that day was the hump.
While I know I'm nowhere near out of the woods, I feel as though I've escaped the initial whirlpool that my sinking ship had created. Now, I've just got to keep swimming....
I will say that at about day 8 I was within a button-push of calling in for a refill. The depression was suffocating, it was as if I desperately needed to get far away from myself but I knew that was impossible. I literally couldn't think of anything to do or anywhere to go for relief. I prayed (begged) harder than I have ever prayed before, the kind of prayer that leaves your head throbbing and sweat beads and tears rolling down your face. I didn't dial that number, and that day was the hump.
While I know I'm nowhere near out of the woods, I feel as though I've escaped the initial whirlpool that my sinking ship had created. Now, I've just got to keep swimming....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Hey Living, thanks for your sharing, you're pretty much like the rest of us, so welcome to SR. Hope you'll stick around and keep posting. Glad you're continuing your sobriety and I am sorry for the loss of your father, I know that's a hard thing to go through. Happy you found us. :ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Meridian, MS
Posts: 57
Thank you vegibean, Impurrfect! My father had been battling cancer for several months, so it was not completely unexpected. Still, it has been hard but I have my wife, beautiful children, my sobriety, and now I feel like I have hundreds of new friends, as well--friends who have walked in my shoes and who have battled (and conquered) the same foes!
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