paul99

Bottom is where you just can't do it anymore...where the fear of drinking out does the fear of not drinking. I hit several bottoms, but it wasn't until I fully conceded to myself that I was an alcoholic, felt it in my bones, knew that I had nothing left in me, and that I was done as I could ever be done....could I then reach out and ask for help. Until that moment, if I had the smallest of inklings of slivers that I could successfully drink again, then I was off to the races. I hope you find the place you need to find to stop for good and all.

krisandbeans

I was not spiritual AT ALL up until 6 months ago, so I'm not trying to preach. But in AA, step two and three basically say to give your will over to God or whichever deity you believe in. For reasons I can't articulate, that really helped me. In complete surrender to spirituality, you find strength. Your higher power has given you the means for a better life; all you have to do is make the right decisions. Always try your best, which is different day-to-day; some days may just be "don't drink". And if you don't, you've succeeded.

Delilah1

I agree with Hevyn, you wouldn't be posting if you didn't want to stop somewhere inside of you.

I know that in the beginning I had to make a very conscious effort to plan something each night when I would have been drinking. I am coming up on four months, and now I have developed new habits at night time.

I stopped counting days after 90 because I was becoming a little obsessive, and I think now my life has begun to adjust to new routines. There is still stress, like today when I hit a car trying to get back to my school site after a meeting, came home to find out my daughter is a finalist in the school science fair, which is great, except it is tomorrow night (gotta love advance notice!!) Still had to help kids finish up homework, and still trying to figure out how to get my son to t ball practice tomorrow. Decided some meditating was in order tonight!!!

Hang in there, I promise it is worth it!!!

raja12

Yeah, I feel your pain. Relapse is my middle name, hah hah. Yes......just don't get bac 2 it. Get a plan in place. Try 2 work it. You deserve so much better then that. Don't ever lose the faith, k? U r way better then all that. Believe in you.

Fallow

I wouldnt beat myself up about relapse after one day or 10. Id just look at that as being an active addict or alcoholic. Trust me Ive been there. Those were the days I simply promised myself I was gonna quit but did not do anything different and didnt make it long.

If feeling bad was gonna make you feel better it would have happened already.

Lasting sobriety will begin when you make a decision there is no other option. After that decision is made you can find and use the tools to stay stopped. If drinking is still an option on the table this alcoholic tends to choose that option pretty frequently.

Thats my arrogant opinion

weirdesttoner

I want to thank everyone who showed interest to share their wisdom with me!
To be honest, i didn't expect so many replies, it was a pleasure to read them and i am thankful to all of you.

This morning i had a suddenly comprehension. Practice is what makes us be good in any aspects of life. I've spent my last 6 years practicing to be an alcoholic, and God, i succeded. I'm "the best" alcoholic i've ever met in person. All this time i neglected all things that i want to change in my life and be good at it. I just hoped for a miracle or for a shortcut.

Well, i finally understood that it ain't gonna happen! I will have to work hard for what i want to be good at or continue to suffer in my misery. Can't believe it took me "only" 25 years to realise something that simple

So, today is my first day again. I'm glad that i found my reasons to stop drinking! This time i will not do the same mistakes last time i did (not reading daily something here, on SR). Thank you and best wishes to everyone!