escapist

Since I have sobered up, I can't stand talking to people. This is why I love this place. Communication, sometimes personal, without making a sound. Quiet recovery after four years of drunken noise. I can hear the rain outside.
I think I am becoming a bit absurd.
I advertise. I have a rep who handles my account. Every year I have to discuss the campaign. Totally normal. This time I have had one brief conversation with him. I have handled this whole thing through e-mails. He calls and I ignore him. I can't seem to handle the stress of converstions.
After about 20 some odd e-mails I have the package I want. I declined a visit from him and asked him to e-mail the contract. He has complied,with a "please will you call, we need to talk in order to seal the deal" . I just want to say ,"Look Chris, I can't talk business unless I am buzzed."
I am going to do this. I am going to call him. I don't understand why this is such a big deal. Can't stand the sound of my own voice maybe?

Dimlitstar

I know exactly what you mean. The other day I had a visit from a longtime friend and I just cracked the door open and didn't let him in. I felt like a cat crawling into a closet or a hole right before its death... Agitation and restlessness pound away at me daily.

Coldfusion

You're two weeks ahead of me in sobriety... congratulations!

Listen to the rain. Be grateful it's rain and not snow!

And pick up the 10,000-pound telephone and make that call, please!

Pixy1

I read this today.......

"When we deprive other people the right to have access into our lives, we are erasing all possibility of forming real relationships. Make no mistake, this is your addiction working to isolate you, to get you alone with a bad crowd; yourself. Once we are isolated from humankind, the conditions are primed for our disease to become fully symptomatic."....without relationships with other humans, the addictive process ultimately destines an alcoholic to self destruction and death.....

Cracking Up: A Memoir of an Alcoholic by Grant Arboro

escapist

Great. I finally call him and I get his dumba-- voicemail.

Weasel1966

We all differ but when I do what you are doing... And I do that a lot.... It's something I need to pay attention to or I go off the rails.

Sometimes I want to cancel my phone... Close down my Facebook.... And only keep blood pumping through me using my iPad.

But that's just me.

escapist

Thank you. Am I doing the "discontent" thing? I would rather die than go back to where I was. I don't know if I am throwing up red flags or not. I am grateful to anyone who can see them. Don't be shy about telling me. I need to know. I want to know.

EnderWiggin

sometimes, the more i talk to people, the more i like my dog. but it's a necessary evil. congrats on picking up that phone! but alas, murphy's law gotcha.