1 day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 1
1 day
Hi everyone
I have been reading your forums for a few weeks now trying to muster up the courage to say I've had enough of booze and how it makes me feel and act. I read a very good article tonight that discusses to not feel ashamed or sad about letting alcohol take control, that if it helps to think of it as an enemy that doesn't have your good intentions in mind.
I have been drinking pretty hard since my exgirlfriend of 5 years and I broke up (mutually). I underestimated the loss I would feel without her around, so I turned to drinking. I was always some what of a partier, but the last 18 months has been awful, the last month in particular has been very bad. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I feel like crap all of the time, it feels like an enormous expense of energy to do anything at all.
Last night I woke up after a weekend binge (and Saturday I made a particularly large a**hole out of myself). I literally felt like someone had been kicking me in the stomach and I couldn't sleep because I felt so achy and horrible. I tossed and turned for an hour or two and then I got up, went into the bathroom, and said - quite audibly - that I am sick and tired of this **** and I want out.
So I guess that means I have 1 day... and really i don't feel so good. I can't sleep, which is what I should be doing now, but from what I read over the past few weeks it sounds like I'm in for some more sleepless nights before this stops.
My question to everyone is what happens when you quit? To your relationships with friends, to your body, etc? I'm worried to tell friends that I am no longer drinking, because I am afraid that I won't have any friends anymore, and then what?
The other part of it is that for the last 2 years I've basically been spending my free time sitting around in pubs watching sports and sucking down booze. I'm sort of nervous about how to fill the free time thats generally used drinking.
Tonight I watched hockey at home and made dinner, I am proud of that.
Thanks for sharing your stories and letting me say my piece.
-RM
I have been reading your forums for a few weeks now trying to muster up the courage to say I've had enough of booze and how it makes me feel and act. I read a very good article tonight that discusses to not feel ashamed or sad about letting alcohol take control, that if it helps to think of it as an enemy that doesn't have your good intentions in mind.
I have been drinking pretty hard since my exgirlfriend of 5 years and I broke up (mutually). I underestimated the loss I would feel without her around, so I turned to drinking. I was always some what of a partier, but the last 18 months has been awful, the last month in particular has been very bad. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I feel like crap all of the time, it feels like an enormous expense of energy to do anything at all.
Last night I woke up after a weekend binge (and Saturday I made a particularly large a**hole out of myself). I literally felt like someone had been kicking me in the stomach and I couldn't sleep because I felt so achy and horrible. I tossed and turned for an hour or two and then I got up, went into the bathroom, and said - quite audibly - that I am sick and tired of this **** and I want out.
So I guess that means I have 1 day... and really i don't feel so good. I can't sleep, which is what I should be doing now, but from what I read over the past few weeks it sounds like I'm in for some more sleepless nights before this stops.
My question to everyone is what happens when you quit? To your relationships with friends, to your body, etc? I'm worried to tell friends that I am no longer drinking, because I am afraid that I won't have any friends anymore, and then what?
The other part of it is that for the last 2 years I've basically been spending my free time sitting around in pubs watching sports and sucking down booze. I'm sort of nervous about how to fill the free time thats generally used drinking.
Tonight I watched hockey at home and made dinner, I am proud of that.
Thanks for sharing your stories and letting me say my piece.
-RM
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
Hi RM!
Welcome to SoberRecovery,
And congratulations on making a decision to change your life.
What happens to your friends? Well, that depends on what kind of friends they are--drinking buddies are a thing of the past. Ever hear of a sobriety buddy? I have a guy (my AA sponsor) who helps me stay sober. I also go to lots of meetings.
I see nothing wrong with cooking your own dinner and watching TV. But, from what I have seen, SoberRecovery can be as much fun and excitement as a hockey game. Try us out!
Welcome to SoberRecovery,
And congratulations on making a decision to change your life.
What happens to your friends? Well, that depends on what kind of friends they are--drinking buddies are a thing of the past. Ever hear of a sobriety buddy? I have a guy (my AA sponsor) who helps me stay sober. I also go to lots of meetings.
I see nothing wrong with cooking your own dinner and watching TV. But, from what I have seen, SoberRecovery can be as much fun and excitement as a hockey game. Try us out!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Idaho
Posts: 7
rm, I too am new to this forum, and to staying sober. I am on only day 5, and I feel much better. I had the EXACT same concern about my friends as you, and I started drinking heavily for a similar reason. I went ahead and told all my drinking friends that I wasn't going to be joining them for a while. They all responded the same way:
I respect that decision, no worries man, we will do something else when you are around.
I don't think anybody will criticize your deision to live better. Congratulations on dinner too! I find cooking to be very therapeutic, and often drag out making dinner longer than it needs to be. Personally, I like to watch a concert DVD while cooking.
Congrats on your decision!
I respect that decision, no worries man, we will do something else when you are around.
I don't think anybody will criticize your deision to live better. Congratulations on dinner too! I find cooking to be very therapeutic, and often drag out making dinner longer than it needs to be. Personally, I like to watch a concert DVD while cooking.
Congrats on your decision!
Never say never...
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Boston-ish
Posts: 70
Hi RM,
Congrats on making the decision to quit. I'm new here too, Monday was my one week without. I thought about the friend thing too....but only briefly. I think a friend that would not want to hang anymore over something like this was never really a "true friend" to begin with...just my take on it.
Over the past few months I have gone from a happy drunk to an angry, obnoxious drunk....so I'm thinking I might actually gain a few friends back
Time will tell. Best of luck!
Congrats on making the decision to quit. I'm new here too, Monday was my one week without. I thought about the friend thing too....but only briefly. I think a friend that would not want to hang anymore over something like this was never really a "true friend" to begin with...just my take on it.
Over the past few months I have gone from a happy drunk to an angry, obnoxious drunk....so I'm thinking I might actually gain a few friends back
Time will tell. Best of luck!
Doing Business Since 11/3/2012
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,143
rmrez welcome.
Its not easy, but it is worth it. Just be confident that you can and will get over all the hurdles you will encounter to get sober. Be patient and strong and come here to read and post. One day at a time brother.
Its not easy, but it is worth it. Just be confident that you can and will get over all the hurdles you will encounter to get sober. Be patient and strong and come here to read and post. One day at a time brother.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Hi and welcome to SR.
Getting sober will actually a good way to clean house and see who your real friends are. Your real friends whether they are sober or not, heavy drinkers, drug users or normal people will be supportive and will try not to tempt you by drinking/drugging around you. When you care for someone, you want them to get better. The ones who drop you are not friends but just party buddies or even worst people who want to see you falling down.
Anyway I hope you hang in there
Getting sober will actually a good way to clean house and see who your real friends are. Your real friends whether they are sober or not, heavy drinkers, drug users or normal people will be supportive and will try not to tempt you by drinking/drugging around you. When you care for someone, you want them to get better. The ones who drop you are not friends but just party buddies or even worst people who want to see you falling down.
Anyway I hope you hang in there
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Washington, Captiol City
Posts: 70
Your story sounds similar to mine. About 10 years ago my GF and I went our seperate ways (not mutual) in fact I had planed on asking for her hand in may. I was devistated. I was drinking previous to the breakup however That was just the excuse I was looking for to go hog wild. happily, 10 years later here I am. You are making the right choice by coming here. Soberity rules! It's hard but given time and hard work life comes back. It's beautiful and exciting to be alive again. well worth the effort to get sober and stay that way. In my opinion and many others here, the drink makes you forget how to be a human being. Keep reading and posting Try to find a plan of action that suits you best ie. AA, AVRT, SMART. Work the hell out of it because You are worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 137
A lot of your post I can relate to! You are worried about losing your friends, you might have to part paths with a few of them. That's OK because they would only keep you in the situation that you've announced loudly that you want out of... so this should be liberating for you. They really wouldn't be your friend if they wanted to keep you drugged. Most of my family drinks quite heavily but they accepted the non-drinking me.
As for all the free time you'll have... life gets more entertaining, not less. I am sure you have other interests you wanted to explore but never did because drinking took up all your time. Personally, I could write a novel on things I've wanted to do but couldn't because I drank from 5PM to Midnight daily. I wanted to get back in to weight lifting, I need to get a book shelf for all my books (they are in a pile on the floor), I need to change my oil, I need to shampoo my carpets, I need to clean my car it's disgusting, the list goes on and on.
You'll have a lot of extra money, too. Take a sober vacation, maybe... and then come back here and tell us all about it. You'll love it and you'll help others, too.
As for all the free time you'll have... life gets more entertaining, not less. I am sure you have other interests you wanted to explore but never did because drinking took up all your time. Personally, I could write a novel on things I've wanted to do but couldn't because I drank from 5PM to Midnight daily. I wanted to get back in to weight lifting, I need to get a book shelf for all my books (they are in a pile on the floor), I need to change my oil, I need to shampoo my carpets, I need to clean my car it's disgusting, the list goes on and on.
You'll have a lot of extra money, too. Take a sober vacation, maybe... and then come back here and tell us all about it. You'll love it and you'll help others, too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 275
Great sentiments garen, you won't have to worry about time...
Seriously, that's what was troubling me, but there are 101 things I need to do and only SR to distract me now not the booze or the aftermath of the booze
You don't mention your age, not that it matters really. When you out loud admit to yourself that you are at the end of your rope and want to change then that's the main thing.
Good luck mate and well done!
Seriously, that's what was troubling me, but there are 101 things I need to do and only SR to distract me now not the booze or the aftermath of the booze
You don't mention your age, not that it matters really. When you out loud admit to yourself that you are at the end of your rope and want to change then that's the main thing.
Good luck mate and well done!
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