Friends
 

I'm still very, very new to recovery, and one thing I'm confused about is friends. I have many friends that are dangerously involved in one substance or another (I was kind of in the "bad" kid group in hs), but I've moved away from that and distance myself from most of them. But a lot of friends are just occasional drinkers, or if we go to a restaurant they will have 1 or 2 beers. Does also have to be completely avoided? Will it make me want to drink? Yes probably. But will being alone all the time make me want to drink? Absolutely! :headbange So how can anyone win?

I found out who my real friends were when I got clean. When I go out with friends for dinner they have drinks. It doesn't bother me. But when I go to their houses they always ask whether I'm comfortable with them drinking. Similarly I don't particularly mind people drinking at my house. You have to test the waters with this. You will find who your true friends are.

Natom.

You sound cautious, which is good.

Joining friends for dinner and they have one or two drinks is quite reasonable.

However, if you think you can't deal with it early in recovery, maybe stay away for a bit.

You have to know yourself.

It really depends on you, them, and the situation. That was clear as mud, huh? Early in sobriety being around any drinking bothered me. Now as time has gone on, my tolerance has changed. Where I used to feel anxious and jealous, I now have no feeling at all. However, that being said, I wouldn't go hang out at a bar. I don't mind going out for dinner or whatnot with drinkers. But if the whole purpose is getting buzzed or drunk, then I'm out.
As for being lonely, have you considered any f2f support groups? I enjoy being around people like myself who have found other entertaining things to do in life.