New and freaked out
 

What am I doing here?... I joined this site because all I can think about is getting help and being sober. I've been addicted to Norcos for over a year and CANT STOP. My body hates me. I try and quit and the WD's are just too awful. I have a great job and a great husband who knows nothing of my problem. I have a great life so why am I doing this to myself? I think im afraid of the person I am without the pills. A boring person with lack of motivation and energy. I can't tell my doctor. I need to do this on my own but I havent even mustered up the courage to find a meeting. What makes me think I can do this by myself? This is the first thing Ive done....signing up on this site and reading about others stories. It's a start...I'm afraid I'm too weak. This is the first time I've admitted to anyone I have a problem. Feels.....real now.

Just wanted to say hello and your stories are helpful, thank you.

Avery it sounds like you have many more and stronger reasons to quite than to stay addicted. You and I are a lot alike my hubby knows nothing of my beast, (binging closet secret wino here). I came here and held on, so many wonderful people here who truly understand where you are at, your fears everything. And it is truly a safe place to come and express your feelings without fear. I dont do meetings, but that is just my preference. there are many ways to get sober and strong. You CAN! do it, and by posting you made the biggest step of all! Welcome :)

:welcome AveryMarie. This is the purpose of having a board. Alone we might feel too lost or too weak but it s good to meet others who are going or went through the same experience. This is a monumental first step to recognize you have a problem and seek help. Hang in there and it s nice to have you aboard.

Hey Avery, welcome to SR, this site is wonderful and I know you'll get plenty of feedback here if you need it. Everyone's situation is different, but I think we all relate to the withdrawals of anything, and it is rough to get through. You may need to seek help from your doctor, and be honest, it's the best thing, and they HAVE to keep your information confidential, HIPPA Law.

We can't really give medical advise, but I know a lot of people will tell you to check out detox or going to a hospital, though it sounds like you're weary of telling your husband what's going on.

You certainly have some hard choices you're going to have to look at. Avery, I wish you the best and we're glad you found us. Good luck and hope to see you around, keep posting!!

Oh yeah, and another thing, have you considered maybe hitting a local NA meeting, you may find a lot of good information there too. You can even just sit an listen at an "open meeting", and if you don't like that one, try another. :)

Thank you so much. It's taken me months just to sign up. I don't even know where to start. I have come so close to telling my husband and I know thats what I need to do. I just dont want to disapoint him but I know that he would be my biggest supporter. I just don't want my family to know, his fmaily to know, my work to find out...lots to think about on how to go about recovery. It feels so damn good to finally tell someone tho...Thank you Tazzle.

Your very welcome, getting sober on your own and in private i will be honest and tell you it is not an easy road, having someone to tell your emotions to, your fears makes them pass easier. It also sucks to not be able to share your accomplishments, yes of this I know :( I haven't told anyone of my situation at all. so If you can, square your shoulders and have a sit down with hubby, he may have his suspitions anyway But feel free to msg me anytime, the chat room here is also a great place, oh heck this whole site is a great place!

Going to a meeting is my next step. I don't want to go alone but I have no choice...for now. Thank you everyone, it's hard to control my tears of grattitude right now.

I really need to tell him Tazzle. I know it will make recovery a little more bearable. I just don't have the strength yet :(

Hi and welcome Avery Marie :)

You'll find a ton of support & understanding here - also check out our substance abuse forum too :)

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

Thank you. I will be reasearching and visiting quite alot

Tazzle, I tried to private message you but I'm not able until I have 25 posts (unless I'm doing something wrong). I don't want you to think I didn't respond, I tried! I know I'm new at all this but I'm still a good listener if you ever want to message me :)

I'm sure. You know, if no one really suspects it, don't you think they might be surprised to hear that you feel like you need help? Maybe even happy that you didn't wait for it to get even worse.

Having support is important, but even if you feel you can't share, we're still here for you. Good luck, keep coming back!! :)

Good luck and maybe when you had made a start you can tell you husband. I am sure he will be so proud of you. x

I know my family and hubby would be supportive and even grateful if I came to them....but wow, its such a hard step as I'm sure most of you know. Is it my pride thats in the way? I'm scared of the talking behind my back, maybe their lack of confidence in me that might stem from this, and what if I never get that back from them? What if they look at me different...they could be ashamed of me and lord knows how long that would last. Even though I know they would help me, I dont know how they would feel about me. The constant "are you ok, how are you feeling today?" So many things. Ive always done everything on my own. I hope I can do this on my own. Sorry, sometimes its hard for me to articulate my feelings. Does any of that make sense?

Avery, I haven't been to an NA meeting, but I have been to quite a few AA meetings. That first one is always the hardest! But for me, getting the courage to walk through those doors and sit down was a most important step in my recovery because it was the first time I had really, truly admitted to myself that I had a problem. So, go! Even if you have to go by yourself, go! You will feel so much better.

I am not sure whether NA has this option, but in my local area there is a phone number you can call to reach out and you can meet a couple of AA'ers ahead of time and go to a meeting with them. I just went by myself because I was so fed up and ready for change.

Hi AveryMarie,

Welcome! I think you're feeling that you know, ultimately, you need to do this on your own, but at the same time, having support will be so helpful. There is always support here at SR. I didn't tell anyone when I stopped drinking for many of the reasons you mentioned. But, the main thing is that you do what works for you. You need to take the step to work on your recovery.

Makes absolute sense to me! I know hubby would support me, but he tends to go over the top and gets kind of "smothery", so I made the descision to fight this battle my own way, which brought me here! I believe that you will know when it is time (if ever) to have the talk with the family, it will present itself and be right for you. Stay strong and nearby!

How are you today Tazzle? I'm still not able to private message you just yet. I just wanted to say hello and check in with you. Things are the same for me. I havent been to a meeting yet and the hubby is still in the dark. Hope you're doing well!

Hello Avery! I am actually on the high side of things right now and hoping to keep it there for awhile this time, keep that curve with a flatter top so to speak. Are you doing okay? I know you will tell hubby when time is right. Its a scary time, the first steps I mean, but its such a relief when they happen. So glad to hear from you, I think you have to post x amount of times before you are "allowed" to pm, not sure why, probably a security thing.

Good to hear from you! Today is good. I'm worried about this weekend tho. I always feel like I'm not "myself" if I don't pop some pills...especially when I'm around groups of people (big super bowl party on Sunday). Don't want to be going through WD's either if I don't take any. I've been reading how some people on here are able to make the deicision to stop the first time and actually go thru with it. I think thats amazing and I wish I could do the same. I'm so strong with everything else in my life. Why can't I be with this?!