first blog
One day at a time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 32
first blog
Hello, I am seeking some help and I am hoping this will help me. I've been dating this guy for 11 months now. I love him with all my heart and he loves me. Because I work 4-12 shifts I never noticed how much he actually drank. He came to me and said "Lover, I believe I'm drinking too much. I need to stop this". So his roommate and I took him to the hospital kept him there over night. Then his best friend and I took him to rehab. He lasted 5 hours.
I got scared and packed up all my stuff from his place. Then I realized that was the stupidest thing I could have ever done. I love this man. I am going to start a life with this man. I have to support him. So he has been doing it himself for the 3 weeks. He is down to 1 and half beers a day. I'm so proud of him. But my mistake has really messed up our relationship. The people at his AA meetings are telling him he shouldn't have a relationship. He tells me he cant do it... leave me that is. He tells me that I am not really supporting him very well. I would like to know, How do I support him? Because I am not leaving him and he is not leaving me. We are in this for the long run.
I got scared and packed up all my stuff from his place. Then I realized that was the stupidest thing I could have ever done. I love this man. I am going to start a life with this man. I have to support him. So he has been doing it himself for the 3 weeks. He is down to 1 and half beers a day. I'm so proud of him. But my mistake has really messed up our relationship. The people at his AA meetings are telling him he shouldn't have a relationship. He tells me he cant do it... leave me that is. He tells me that I am not really supporting him very well. I would like to know, How do I support him? Because I am not leaving him and he is not leaving me. We are in this for the long run.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 557
I don't have any experience in supporting an alcoholic in early recovery, and I wasn't in a relationship when I got sober. Honestly, there is no way I could have dealt with a relationship in those first couple of months. I guess the best advice I can give is to establish boundaries. It's his recovery. You can't control it. You can only decide what's best for you to be able to heal and stay healthy. The Friends and Family area of the board will probably have more people who can give you support. What does he mean when he says you aren't being supportive?
One day at a time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 32
I'm not 100% sure what he means by it. Maybe because I wont go see him were he's staying. But I don't feel welcome anymore at this place. They are treating him amazing there, I offered to go to one of his meetings tomorrow but he doesn't want me to go. Thank you for the advice about another chat room. I will try that.
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