grandma12

Im glad you went, everyone starts at day 1. wtg. I have 50 days in and still dont have the nerve to go to a meeting.

LexieCat

Well, in my group we have "meeting leaders" (that's what we call them--the "chairperson" in our group is the elected member who chairs the business meetings). The "leader" changes every month.

Nobody is the "leader" in the sense that they are in charge of the group.

Isn't the coin GREAT? I used to think they were sort of silly before I actually GOT one, and man, those little things--the chip, the applause, the people truly wishing you well and congratulating you on making a life-saving, life-changing decision--those are good medicine for the shaky newcomer.

paul99

sugarbear1 and Lexi are right, but we know what you meant...

I still have my chip. It's with the rest of them...they suggest you collect the whole set

tomsteve

good on ya!! i am willing to bet he was brutally honest for a few reasons. one, he knows the message that can get through to an alcoholic must have depth and weight. second, he cares about you.
with that coin: its got some real power in it. if at anytime you feel like taking a drink, put it under yer tongue. when it melts, you can have a drink. in the meantime, get to more meetings, get a big book( you can read it online,too, but i find it best to have one in front of me to write down definitions of stuff in it and other things i have learned. i dont think i could read anyting on my monitor iffen i wrote all the stuff i have written in my BB), look for a sponsor, and use the phone. its actually a lot lighter than a drink and will help a lot more.

prayers yer way and and very glad for ya! keep goin back! it works if ya work it so work it yer worth it!

Sasha4

Maples - I am super proud of you!
You did great.
It takes a lot of courage to do what you did.
I am so glad you went in, I kept checking the thread all evening until it got too late and I had to go sleep.

I tried some different meetings in the early days.
It meant I met a variety of people.
I like driving to different area's and going to meetings.
I have never ever had a bad reception.
I have been welcomed at everyone I went to.

I am really happy you went.
And when you talk of what you have become - I see no reason for you to feel sad. You have become someone who is seeking a better future for themselves. There should only be happiness in that.

Maples

Thanks everyone for the support. I needed that pep talk yesterday badly. Slept (kinda) with my coin in my hand and woke up feeling somewhat better. I say kinda because I only got about 3 hrs. For those of you that have been through numerous night 1s like me, you know what it is like.

Found another meeting for tonight.

Hollyanne

There were a lot of us like Sasha, checking in!
Delighted for you Maples.
You did it!
This is not sad, this is a fantastic development.
There are so many of us.
The ones on here and in programs, with therapists, rehabs etc, are the hope.
We have accepted the situation and are working on the solution.
We are the winners!
Just for today, no drink today.
There is a book called "Living Sober" in AA.
Full of practical tips. Check it out.
HALT
Do not get or stay,
Hungry,
Angry,
Lonely,
Tired.
These are the simplest triggers.
Your sleep may be an issue for a few days.
Don't worry about that. It will pass.

courage2

Aw heck, Maples, I wrote you a long message & just lost it!

Hope you get to that meeting tonight, no matter how you feel -- I've been to lots of meetings shaky, twitchy, and crying -- nobody minds. Do you have any daytime meetings where you live?

I'll be thinking of you today. Just keep doing the next right thing!

Maples

Really struggling with feeling well today. Looking forward to the end of the week when i start feeling somewhat normal again. Sweaty, shaky, no appetite at all, depressed, anxious, want to hide from the world, worried my neighbors have noticed my issue, you all know the feelings. My God this disease is awful.

There was a morning meeting at 7am, but i couldn't get out of bed for it. next one in my area is 7:30 tonight. I really hope I stabilize somewhat before then.

heath480

Maples I am delighted to read you went to a meeting and got phone numbers.

Early Recovery is a difficult time,good days bad days.It is so worth sticking with it,it wil get better,that is a promise.

I wish you well.

Sasha4

Make sure you come back and tell us what meeting number 2 is like!!

I'm sorry your not feeling so good, but just remember every minute, every hour that passes, the alcohol is going to be out of your system.

Like Hollyanne says, drink plenty of fluids, try eat a bit, don't overdo it. Sleep will come soon.

Don't worry about your neighbours. You know what they will notice a change soon and that will be you looking and feeling better and being more in control of life.

Remember too that all those people in our AA group all started out like you, and me too.
Scared to go inside the meeting.
Feeling shaky and sick. Nervous and on the verge of tears.
We all have been through it.

Maybe you should tap your coin to your bedside cabinet, so its the first thing you will see when you wake. Thats sure to put a smile on your face.

Keep going M.
My best to you xx

Maples

Still tearing up even this morning thinking about this. The lack of blame, the faith, the heart felt support.

I honestly think getting that 24hr coin was one of the greatest moments of my life.

member72

All I can say to you is Horray! I've got goosebumps reading through last evenings and this mornings posts. Everybody has your back and yes we know exactly how you feel. The emotional turmoil was always the worst for me. I hated the adgitation and paranoia, it was madining. However the great thing is it goes away fairly quickly. A couple days from now, you will feel 100% better than you do now. You may not be functioning at 100% but, in time you will be. For now keep doing exactly what your doing now, and be easy on yourself. you deserve this. you are more than worth it. Do keep warm, take naps when hungry, try to get some soup in your tummy and take a multi vitamin. keep reading and posting. -N

veryready

You did it. Well done. I love reading things like this.

It took me 2 months to get up the courage to go to my first meeting. Got my 2 month chip just last week. It was a kick in the pants.

Grandma - Go get your chip. You earned it. Nobody hates crowds more than me. If I can do it ANYONE can.

Dave42001

Kudos Maples!! Hope you make it tonight!! Good for you!!

Maples

I feel somewhat disappointed to report I went, but seem to have gone to the wrong church. I arrived at 7:10, a bit early hoping to talk to some sober people about what to do next. 7:30 arrives and I am still the only one in the lot. ****.

Home now posting instead and looking at tomorrow's schedule.

On a positive note, the member who spoke to me one on one called me at 5:30 to make sure I was feeling better. He told me I sounded much better. He also asked if he could continue to call regularly to follow up. Hell yes was my immediate reply! He also walked through the meetings he felt I should try, and make sure I get back to that Monday meeting for beginners next week. He tries to be there every week.

I feel so not alone already.

Edit: LOL at the auto mod of my shat bomb. POOP, take that!

Coldfusion

I hate when stuff like that happens.

It's good to know you're putting out the effort, and already feeling the rewards.

Thanks for the update!

Maples

Yeah, the site just said Saint Joseph's, no address. So I google it, find one in my town and plug it into the GPS. Apparently there must be other Saint Joseph's. I should have realized it was a common enough name.

Still, as I sat in the parking lot waiting, I wasn't drinking and knew I wouldn't. Minor successes to be claimed.

AngelBabe

I have done something quite similar to this myself on two different occasions. My Thursday night meeting is from 7-8pm. Well my kids had a school event they needed to be dropped off at and picked up from. For some reason in my mind that night the meeting was at 6-7pm. Not wanting to miss my meeting as my kids had to be dropped off at 5:30 over 30 minutes away I had a friend take them. I figured once the meeting ended at 7pm I would have an hour to make the trip to pick them up at 8pm. Well I was running a bit late and was driving like a mad woman to get to the meeting. A year ago I would have done this to get to a bar and surely not an AA meeting. I had visions in my mind of having to explain to the police officer that I was driving that way to get to AA.

Well I arrived just in the nick of time only to find the parking lot completely empty. I sat there for a good ten minutes wondering where the heck everyone was at. Then it dawned on me to pull out the meeting schedule for our county. Sure enough I was there an hour early. Since I live less than three miles from the church I just went back home and came back at the proper time. I was kind of bummed though as I now had to leave at 7:30 to get my kids and ended up missing the last half of the meeting. It ended up the kids would have needed the ride home and not the ride there.

The second time I did this was for my Sunday meeting which is from 5:30- 6:30pm. This meeting is about a 25 minute drive away for me. I had said all day log that my meeting was at 5:30 and when my kids asked when I was leaving for some reason I said 5:20. In my mind I had changed the meeting to 6pm and thought I was leaving early so I would have time to stop and get a soda. I dilly dallied around the quick mart and then slowly made my way to the church parking lot. I noticed that there was a large number of vehicles there already and thought boy these folks must be real anxious this week. I then processed to sit in my car until five minutes to 6 and then went in. The lady I sat next to told me what page in the 12 & 12 we were on and I was baffled. I leaned over and asked her why the meeting had started so early and she said " Dear this meeting starts at 5:30" Ugg, I could have smacked my head against the wall at my second mess up and it's not like I had just started these groups when I did this I was close to two months in.

So I have learned that if anyone can mess it up it's me. Other than that many meetings will change their times, meeting dates and or locations. If you look at AA onlline it will guide you to your area and hopefully have the most up to date meeting schedule available for you. I hope tomorrow finds you feeling better than today. Just keep hanging in there.

DayTrader

Sounds like you tapped into a pretty strong group....or at least found a strong recovery friend - i.e. someone who realizes his purpose in sobriety is ti carry the message to another (not to sit back and relish in his own sobriety).