DIYman

Day 16. Survived another weekend without drinking, and they are much more difficult than the working week, so that's good. Also the anxiety generally seems a lot lower.

However, I feel like I've lost a lot of my identity. Its like I can't remember who I am or what I stand for. Are feelings like this normal at about this time?

vegibean

Yes DIY, and it will pass. I think the big thing in becoming sober again is that we have to learn again, who we are. I went through that too, and it was actually awesome for me. I'm sure you'll get a lot of related shares. Getting sober for the first time can be very awkward to say the least, there are so many different feelings that can come into play.

Congrats on your 16 days, good for you, and glad you're feeling better.

bemyself

Just from my meager experience: depending on how long you've been drinking in your lifetime, I'd reckon that, yes, we do lose our identity in a sense. I could start waxing all philosophical but that wouldn't really help you right now. Instead, might I suggest you check out some of the posts (by doing a word search) about PAWS = Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome / symptoms.

Reading that stuff helped me a lot to recognise that the wacky emotions, confusion, etc etc are pretty 'normal', as in, to be expected. And the best part to look forward to is that we don't stay that way forever - it's just the body and brain starting to heal without alcohol.

All the best to you, and welcome to the SR community - you're in good hands here, and surrounded by people who know what you're talking about from their own experience!

escapist

Yes. For me anyway. I am still analyzing who I am. I have over 100 days. My thoughts are a lot clearer now than they were at 16 days. Now I am trying to understand the causes of my reactions to stress and the roots of my motivations. Why do I do what I do? Reading other alcoholics thoughts are helpful to providing insight.

Acheleus

I have been sober for 16 days and I feel lost, as if I have woken up out of a dream. I feel stuck between two worlds. I have pretty much accepted I will have to relearn who I am. The hardest part is moving forward so slowly. I did go to church this morning for the first time since I was a child. I don't know if it helped me with forging a new identity or not. Without alcohol I don't know who I am. I only ever felt like my self when I was drunk.

DIYman

That's exactly the way I feel too. Thanks for sharing.

DIYman

escapist, yes I am doing a lot of analysing.

I think I suddenly have realised that I have a lot more thinking time available, as I certainly didn't do much serious thinking whilst drinking.

DIYman

bemyself - I came across PAWS on my research (I read and research a lot). I figured it probably didn't apply to me because I just didn't drink enough - 2/3 beers during the week and more on weekends. But now you say it, it does feel like that. I'll just take things gentle for the next few weeks and see what happens.

kizzy40

I never felt like myself when I was drunk, I even had 2 groups of friends The 'school run' friends would have had me certified if they had seen me out...:/

Great news on 16 days! well done

DIYman

Vegibean - thanks for your reply and support. There certainly have been a range of feelings!

Received

I don't feel like I've lost my identity, not at all BUT I've had a heck of time forming coherent sentences today.

I was talking to a friend today and told them "I'm hungry but I don't know what to read". Then, at the end of the conversation I said "I'll talk to the Lakers". I don't know where that came from. I had to look it up and found out The Lakers are a basketball team. Obviously I meant to say "I'll talk to you later". And that's just two examples.

What in the world? lol

Anyway hang in there. I tend to see the humor in myself these day, but that's just me.

bemyself

DIYMan, ah! yes...the 'I thought I didn't drink as much [as, whom?]' That one I hear come up a lot in the AA meetings I go to, when people sharing their story say just that.

I don't know how old / young you are, but if it helps, you could think of your drinking 'career' this way: 'do I actually HAVE TO get to some impossible-to-quantify benchmark of XXX number of drinks on XXXX number of days per week before I decide to stop for good?' I say this because of those stories I hear, often from people much younger than me: what they've done is say to themselves ' NO, I'm stopping at this stage in my life before I get to that hideous stage.' - for it truly is hideous, as I and many others here can attest.

You are better than that, you do not have to end up as sick as some of us have been. You can take this path of sobriety / being a non-drinker and get on with the rest of your life!

Think about your screen name, eh??? DIY???!! Go for it, sir!

Delilah1

I definitely spent a lot of time analyzing everything about my life. For me it was more about forming new habits. I needed to figure out how to occupy my drinking time.