Tragedy and first 30 days of sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 263
Tragedy and first 30 days of sobriety.
I am struggling so much. To stay sane, sober, not do something.
My dog, my best friend over the last 6 years. Attacked my sister tonight (they had spent many occasions together without problem). Ripped a large portion of her face. She is in ER, I finally headed home after being up for 24 hours and staying with her for 9 hours. Our father is flying in in a couple hours. She is missing a large portion of her upper lip (about half) and the flesh is torn away. I don't know what to do. I have so much guilt. So much pain in her eyes. I feel guilty for not wanting to have to put my dog down. I feel guilty about everything. And I can't fix any of it.
Being sober doesn't make this not hurt, or magically give me a way to deal with it. I suppose its a positive I'm not running away by drinking but...
Sorry all I am just speachless, exhausted. Can't think
My dog, my best friend over the last 6 years. Attacked my sister tonight (they had spent many occasions together without problem). Ripped a large portion of her face. She is in ER, I finally headed home after being up for 24 hours and staying with her for 9 hours. Our father is flying in in a couple hours. She is missing a large portion of her upper lip (about half) and the flesh is torn away. I don't know what to do. I have so much guilt. So much pain in her eyes. I feel guilty for not wanting to have to put my dog down. I feel guilty about everything. And I can't fix any of it.
Being sober doesn't make this not hurt, or magically give me a way to deal with it. I suppose its a positive I'm not running away by drinking but...
Sorry all I am just speachless, exhausted. Can't think
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
drayer, I'm really sorry to hear all of that, it is a tragedy. I hope your sister heals well. I'm sorry about your dog as well. My best to you. Such a sensitive subject too. I hope you can calm your mind and think of what is going to be best for everyone. I'm sure you love your dog, but I wonder how traumatized your sister is? 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
I am so sorry. We forget that animals are operating under their own set of behavior. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine with an adopted dog...
I don't know what else to say except that I feel for your situation.
I don't know what else to say except that I feel for your situation.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 804
I am so sorry that happened. How old is your sister? My dog did that once (with much less damage-wimpy dog) and it turned out he had a painful rash on his belly that we hadn't noticed. When my daughter touched it, he bit her because of pain. He had always been gentle before and remains so. A one time thing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Finger Lakes, NY
Posts: 521
Wow. I'm stunned. That has always been my worst fear...that my dog would snap and hurt someone. Any idea what may have caused it? Hy heart goes out to you and your sister. Stay strong and let us know how you and your sister are doing.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Sometimes we cannot make it better. But you staying sober is real strength and love. Both for yourself and your sister. That's a very big deal.
Comfort her. Put the guilt aside. You had no control over things and you know it.
Putting the dog down? Retaliation to an animal being an animal is odd to me. I would find the dog a new home so that I sent a message that my sister was more important. But taking a life... Of even an animal... That's not something I could Imagine.
My best wishes for you!!!
K
Comfort her. Put the guilt aside. You had no control over things and you know it.
Putting the dog down? Retaliation to an animal being an animal is odd to me. I would find the dog a new home so that I sent a message that my sister was more important. But taking a life... Of even an animal... That's not something I could Imagine.
My best wishes for you!!!
K
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: ma
Posts: 242
Stay strong and try to vet some rest. You need a clear.head the next couple.days/ weeks. Just remember this is not your fault. You staying clean and sober is one of the best things you can do for yourself right now. I'm so sorry.
Prayers and hugs for you and all your family.
Prayers and hugs for you and all your family.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,756
I am so sorry to hear of this sad and upsetting situation. I pray you can stay sober thru it as you know drinking won't make it any better. I hope you can come to a humane solution regarding your dog. Big hugs for you. :ghug3
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm so sorry this happened. Get some rest.
If you're in AA (and maybe even if you're not) this might be the time to get to a meeting and get some face to face support and hugs. Tragedies happen whether we are drinking or not. You will be much more helpful to your sister, and ultimately to yourself, if you take care of your sobriety.
What happened isn't anyone's fault. You can get through this sober, and be the stronger for it. Trust that things will work out as they should.
Hugs,
If you're in AA (and maybe even if you're not) this might be the time to get to a meeting and get some face to face support and hugs. Tragedies happen whether we are drinking or not. You will be much more helpful to your sister, and ultimately to yourself, if you take care of your sobriety.
What happened isn't anyone's fault. You can get through this sober, and be the stronger for it. Trust that things will work out as they should.
Hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 263
Lexeicat thank you. First thing I did was call my sponsor (well after calling the necessary family and such).
I got about 4 hours of sleep this morning. She is waiting for more news.
The good news is she has no life threatening injuries. Even if she just went home at this point, she would be fine. There would be some very serious scarring of course.
So at this point she is on meds and is bandaged and waiting for a team "ENTs" (ear nose and throat) drs, as a well as the hospital's top plastics guy to figure out what the next move is. I believe she is in her own room finally (we left as she was being transferred but was glad to hear she made it over there)
Thanks again for the support. I don't know what exactly ahppened. He is adopted but I've had him for quite a while now. Like 6-7 yeears. He has always been shy/skittish but he is really comfortable around women and especially my sister. I was actually changing when it happened and just heard screams from the family room. What a nightmare coming out and seeing everything. Blood everywhere and my sisters face quite frankly looked like something out of the walking dead. Anyway reconstructing the events it really sounds like they were just playing rough and he went to give her a play bite just like he does on my hand all the time but caught her lip and tore upwards with his bottom teeth. My friend who was there said he was wagging and happy leading up to it and doing play bows and such. I just can't imagine him doing this maliciously, but whoever said it is right, he is an animal and you just can't 100% predict their behavoir no matter how well you think you know them.
Anyway my sister is fine, I am just worried about her beautiful face and self confidence. She was so strong last night but there were moments where you could see she was thinking about the future and how she probably will never be quite the same. So hard to be strong for her. She has truly been remarkable. Her first comments to me when they got her some pain killers was to worry about messing up my floor! What a weird set of priorities society hardwires into us!.
Anyway thank you for the thoughts, concern, and prayers. I will give another update later tonight
I got about 4 hours of sleep this morning. She is waiting for more news.
The good news is she has no life threatening injuries. Even if she just went home at this point, she would be fine. There would be some very serious scarring of course.
So at this point she is on meds and is bandaged and waiting for a team "ENTs" (ear nose and throat) drs, as a well as the hospital's top plastics guy to figure out what the next move is. I believe she is in her own room finally (we left as she was being transferred but was glad to hear she made it over there)
Thanks again for the support. I don't know what exactly ahppened. He is adopted but I've had him for quite a while now. Like 6-7 yeears. He has always been shy/skittish but he is really comfortable around women and especially my sister. I was actually changing when it happened and just heard screams from the family room. What a nightmare coming out and seeing everything. Blood everywhere and my sisters face quite frankly looked like something out of the walking dead. Anyway reconstructing the events it really sounds like they were just playing rough and he went to give her a play bite just like he does on my hand all the time but caught her lip and tore upwards with his bottom teeth. My friend who was there said he was wagging and happy leading up to it and doing play bows and such. I just can't imagine him doing this maliciously, but whoever said it is right, he is an animal and you just can't 100% predict their behavoir no matter how well you think you know them.
Anyway my sister is fine, I am just worried about her beautiful face and self confidence. She was so strong last night but there were moments where you could see she was thinking about the future and how she probably will never be quite the same. So hard to be strong for her. She has truly been remarkable. Her first comments to me when they got her some pain killers was to worry about messing up my floor! What a weird set of priorities society hardwires into us!.
Anyway thank you for the thoughts, concern, and prayers. I will give another update later tonight
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 263
Just for those who asked: my sister is 23 years old. Turns 24 next month. She lives with her amazing SO, who is getting a graduate degree in engineering. She works selling jewelry. She competes in triathlons (it was pretty impressive, they had a heart monitor on her, and her "resting" heart rate even with everything going on was about 55BPM). She is an amazing young woman. Our mother passed away almost 5 1/2 years ago after a long battle with cancer, and my sister was so deeply impacted by that (as was I, that was the tipping point of just never being sober myself), and she was really just starting to be able to live a happy and full life again. And now she has to deal with this.
I am sorry to write all this down, but I needed to share with the only community I knew to go to.
I am sorry to write all this down, but I needed to share with the only community I knew to go to.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Sorry to hear about this. I agree with the other poster that the dog most certainly has to go, for the reasons stated. Aside from that there is nothing you can do but support your sister. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 545
My heart goes out to you and your sister. I'm sure this is so difficult.
When it comes to the dog I would ask your sister when she is feeling a bit better what her thoughts are on what should happen to him and take that into consideration. I really think it would be difficult to give the dog away after it has bitten someone rather severely. I wouldn't adopt a dog like that, regardless it was just playing.
When it comes to the dog I would ask your sister when she is feeling a bit better what her thoughts are on what should happen to him and take that into consideration. I really think it would be difficult to give the dog away after it has bitten someone rather severely. I wouldn't adopt a dog like that, regardless it was just playing.
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