Steppenwolf

I'm brand new to this place an to sobriety. I have issues with drinking and drugs, and though Ive always functioned relatively well, I recognize that I have a problem. I seek out reckless activity every once in a while and it has effed up my life and my marriage. Does anyone have experience with behavioral addiction?
Here's the thing... I can go days without being drunk. I mean i usually drink every day, but typically two to three beers only. I can go months without pills. I'm not always dishonest. But every once in a while, when the moon is holding water, I chase the darkness. I seek danger. It has manifested most recently in infidelity and I hate that I became that guy but I'm trying to accept it. I hurt my lovely wife so much and lied and lied and lied. Anyway, I need to get out of this sway pattern, so I quit drinking and started therapy. 12 step next, but will this help with my itch to be reckless?
Thanks

Sazzle

Welcome to SR. I am much the same, in that I have an inner rebel. My vice is red wine and I've been stopped for 3 months now. I actually like the peace and calm that has gone alongside quitting so much that my inner rebel has quietened down a lot.

There are other ways to be reckless that doesn't hurt anyone. Theme park rides for example! I bet you could treat yourself to a day out riding scarily named fast moving things with the money you save on alcohol and pills.

My advice is to quit for a year/six months and see how it changes your life.

Wishing you all the best

S x

vegibean

You know Steppen, you are already taking the right steps, therapy and then you're going to do 12 step meetings, I think that's great! Some people have apprehensions about working the 12 steps, but in your case, they may be really helpful for you as they help you take a look at your behavior (self inventory) and it then helps you to learn how to NOT make the same mistakes again. That is what really helped me when I did them.

Good luck Steppen, and welcome to SR, this place is great support.

Weasel1966

Steppin ... Behavioral addiction? I hear, in just your few words, a sex addiction.

The thing is addiction by my definition is anything that negatively effects my life that I cannot seem to control or stop despite knowing it hurts me.

You sound like you want to change... At least for your wife... I never stayed sober or off drugs... And yes... Used sex that way... Unless I wanted it for me. It's totally possible.

Welcome to SR.... It's a place to find help and support. Good people here.

K

Received

Hi Steppenwolf. A couple of questions to consider:

Does "this itch" to be reckless (infidelity) only happen after you've been drinking and/or taking drugs?

Or,

Do you get "this itch" and then take to drink and/or drugs to build up your courage to act on it?