Straightedgeste

Today was the 3rd time I've out to a pub since being sober.

I don't feel tempted by the alcohol being consumed or the atmosphere, but I feel my friends have more of an issue with me not drinking then I do.

It's a constant thing of "bet its crap being the sober one" "What's wrong why aren't you drinking?" And the confused look on the faces makes me feel uncomfortable!

And I'm not sure whether its just me being sober but it seems like nobody has a laugh anymore. Or feel they can't cause I'm sober.

LexieCat

You might or might not need different friends, but you definitely need a different place to hang you for a while.

Old saying, you hang around the barbershop long enough, you're likely to wind up with a haircut.

nogard

Yeah I agree with the barber shop thingy and they dont do haircuts in bars!

I had to stay away from old environment and people I used to drink with. Today I dont have anything in common with those people and no reason to hang around bars. I get bored being with peoplke who are drinking after a couple conversation turns to poopy

IWillWin

Hi Straight - it has been my experience that my active "friends" treat me differently be sue they don't like looking in the mirror I've apparently created. My sobriety is threatening to their addictions and their lifestyle. Although I don't interfere with their business or preach about being sober (I certainly didn't grow a halo when I put down the drink) they seem to be uncomfortable in their own skin when I'm around.

To be honest, I would probably feel the same if I was full blown active and a drinking friend quit. It would have killed my buzz for sure. So I get it...

I'm working on slowly detaching with love. My real friends are making themselves known as I continue on my journey and I'm prepared for the road kill I leave behind as I walk this road I have chosen.

Best to you...

Hevyn

I agree with IWill. It happened to me, too, with certain people - even though everyone knew drinking was damaging me. I never lectured anyone or tried to act superior.

Like nogard, I honestly outgrew going to the pub/bar for entertainment. It had once been the highlight of my life - then it seemed sort of pathetic. I didn't want to let go of that lifestyle and my (so-called) friends, but those who really cared about me are still in my life.

Straightedgeste

It's just a thing that all my adult life I've been friends or made friends with people around pubs.

Feel that if I'm away from pubs I'm friendless.

Kind of pathetic really

soberclover

My Dad who got sober quite a number of decades ago used to always say to me "they don't go to the ***** house to listen to the music you know!" I keep that in mind for myself when I think about going to the pub/bar. The people I would see there aren't really my friends anyway...they were my drinking friends and that is pretty much it. The downside is that I still haven't really figured out what to do with myself for entertainment but I'm sure that will come with time when I'm ready!

Anna

You might try meeting your friends at a coffee shop or doing something different with them. But, you're right, you might need new friends. That happens to many of us because of the huge changes we go through in recovery.

bigsombrero

I know that feeling. I tried going out to pubs with friends in my early months. Even went to a pub by myself once just for lunch and a club soda just to prove I could do it. After some experiences, I realized that for now, that part of my life is over. I'd recommend putting a nail in that coffin. Sure, pubs are okay. You have a laugh, shoot some darts, talk about the ladies, etc. But it's not the be-all-end-all of the Universe. It's just a pub. You're not missing anything by not going.

New friends are a bonus. I would say it also might be good to "go on the offensive" in another way - ask your friends to meet you at a coffee shop during the afternoon or something. The only way they know to include you is by asking you to a pub - why don't you show them that you are still friendly by asking them to an event? Some won't show. Screw 'em, for now. Those that will are showing you they're on your side and looking out for your best interests.

In short my advice is just to not go to the pub, especially at night. Rope it off and treat it like a crime scene. Good luck.

Xune

Then why go?

Fallow

The transition from drinkin buddies to normal friends is tough. I dont still hang out in pubs or really at night with them. We go get lunch sometimes. Thats the friends that are still around. Most of em dropped off. Thats fine. I cant have any friends if Im dead.