NotSoIvory

So I have this concern that has always haunted me about becoming sober. I've been using alcohol to overcome my shyness and become more outgoing for years. I love to talk and hang out when I am drinking. When I am sober, I get soooo reserved and introverted and even maybe a little bit akward at times. I have a tendacy to avoid long social situations. I feel unable to hang out with friends when sober. Has anyone experienced this and overcome it? I would love to hear some insights.

Xune

Being introverted won't destroy your life or kill you.

Drinking can do both.

Congratulations on your decision to get well and stop drinking.

Coldfusion

Uh-oh, here comes a story.

My first wife died of cancer. We lived in a multi-racial community, and she asked me one day where my next wife would come from. She expected me to answer Japanese, Hawaiian, whatever; but somehow I came up with the answer: "She'll come from heaven, like you did."

So the moral is: don't worry about finding friends; true friends will come to you at the right time and in the right place. And a lot of finding that right place is finding it in yourself. Now I'm thinking along the lines of the guy in the movie who made the pro baseball stadium in his corn field: "If you build it, they will come."

I hope this is helpful.

Lorax1981

I know how you feel. But you can still have fun sober. I'm more confident now and doing more stuff with other people. I may not be as chatty as I was drinking and it might be a little harder to get dancing but I have more meaningful conversation now and I don't wake up hungover after a night of sober partying. Although too many red bulls can be followed by a rough morning:-)

LadyinBC

I had to get rid of some friends as without the booze we have nothing in common. I kept the friends that support me in my sobriety.

Social situations I'm not a real talker never have been. However that has changed since going to daytox and meetings. I talk more and get less shy as time goes on. This didn't happen overnight though. This is why I liked the alcohol counsellor I saw. I was able to talk to him about everything the first time I saw him. Not something I usually do.

Take your time getting back into the social scene. It will come, it just takes practice and some time.

LadyinBC

I think at the beginning of our sobriety the main thing is to work on staying sober. That is what I did in the beginning, I worried about everything else later. I tried to keep things simple and I still do. Hope that makes sense.

ivegotsunshine

I was always petty shy myself. I am by no means an expert but this much I know about MYSELF; I don't want to be different now than I was before when I was drinking.
What I do want to change is the bad embarrassing and dangerous behaviour. I could never dance in public sober. But last week I did just that. It was terribly uncomfortable and unnatural but I did it anyways. Its little but to me, being that fun loving girl who gets crazy was just as much fun sober but without all the bad consequences after.
I guess what I'm saying is its your chance to make a brand new customized you. Take the old you you like and mix it with the new and improved you, and you'll be even more fabulous than ever.
Don't be afraid. Life is better sober.

Bigndfan175

I am an introvert being around a crowd of people drains the sheet out of me so I don't do a lot with people outside of a few close acquaintances and my family. I'm not missing out n anything, in fact I prefer to be my authentic self and introverted than outgoing and a drunk