12skiptomylue

I am 7 months and 3 days sober. I am struggling tonight. I had a sh*t storm of a week at work, and man, I really want to drink! A bottle of wine or a bottle of vodka sounds SO great. And I know its not. It just makes everything worse, and then I would be SO ashamed and crushed. I don't think I will drink. But my head is really stuck on thinking about the bottle. I have talked to my sponsor and talked to another friend in the program. There are no meetings in my area tonight.

I know I can't drink and need to deal with life on life's terms. I know I am just feeling overwhelmed and don't want to deal. But I've got to do this. I can't go back now.

Uggg.... it's so not fair that I don't get to drink anymore. Yep, that's my pity pot.

Coldfusion

Hang out here--we'll help you!

LindaLou

Hi skip. Wow, you've had a lot of time sober. Congrats on that! I'm on Day 12 this time. I lost my job of 5 years yesterday. I know the bottle of gin has been calling to me. But really, what good is that gonna do? Make you feel like crap 2morrow and waste part of your weekend hung over. Coldfusion is right, stay here with us!

Coldfusion

I guess what they say is true, it's always going to be one day at a time. So I never want to forget the horror of my alcoholic past and the agony of withdrawal. The unfairness is not that we can't have pleasure from drinking, but that we are stuck with this illness.

And so rejoice in the beauty of your recovery! Be thankful you made it home safely from that horrible day at work and didn't get killed by a drunk driver!

Hevyn

Hi skip. You already know it won't take you where you want to go. As you said, the disappointment in yourself would be hard to take. You got sober because it was harming you - not making you feel better or easing your pain. You were right to want a sober life. There's nothing at the bottom of that bottle but regret. Glad you are here talking about it.

Received

When it comes to evenings I love knowing how much better I'll feel in the morning, not drinking. Mornings, are so wonderful these days.

Maybe think it through, knowing you'll wake up so much better, physically, emotionally, mentally...

bigsombrero

Hang in there man. Maybe try and do something - anything, to get your mind into a different place. Make a cup of tea, watch a documentary on Discovery Channel about China or freakin' Primates of the Amazon or something. Learn. Play a boardgame or a crossword puzzle online. Just some suggestions! Your first thoughts to post that here were good instincts. Trust yourself.

vegibean

Skip, sorry you're struggling tonight, you'll get through it though. You're so close to a year, you've come this far, you get stronger every day, if you can get through this mental hurdle you'll be good. You're doing all the right things. Hope you sleep well and are unburdened of this by tomorrow morning. :ghug3

artsoul

I hate it when that happens...... Maybe you need to eat something (or rest up after a hard week)? It's uncomfortable when those urges hit, but they really do pass. There were times when I had to go back to "one minute at a time" and read on SR until I got my sanity back. Just know that we're here for ya, and tell that AV you're not buying!:ghug3

grandma12

Skip you can get through this you've come this far, congrats
Lindalou glad you made it through yesterday, it sounded like a real rough one way to go.