xuse

Thinking about how many times drinking has crossed my mind today .It being Friday and all its been alot.I smelled hot sauce this morning made me think of beer made my mouth water.eating a pretzel I thought be great with a beer. Had a lil anxiety thought man I need a beer . And so on .Never even realizing that I do this. It's crazy I've had six months a couple weeks here and there sober and never once noticed .Its been constant like 20 times today I've done this about a smell , something I see or even eat ,even songs is it this much a part of my being?

instant

For me it was all about the changing seasons- different reminders and settings over the course of the year. It's just the way it goes

Over time it gets less intense and less frequent- I am now 20 months and I can now be in situations that at 6 months I would have really struggled

Paddler

I have noticed the same thing today. I was supposed to go skiing with a good friend but our snow came as ice instead. Right there are two things that made me think of drinking.

skiing... not being able to ski...

Got home and did some work on the computer (I work a lot from home...) thought about a beer.

My kids are with the grandparents this weekend (which was a downfall for me last time) and again thought... I could have some beer...

Thought about going out to eat if I wasn't iced in and how nice a beer with a steak would be. But, being iced in thought how nice it would be to have a 12 pack on hand...

It's been a tempting day but I'm hanging in there. =) And, I'm trying to tell myself the awesome feeling I have from not being drunk, hungover, and just enjoying life and clear thoughts... isn't worth that temporary buzz. I'd really regret it in the morning and it isn't worth that for me.

And, I even said no thanks to a beer when we decided skiing was out from a good friend. And he was very, very cool about it.

Hang in there. I've lived the same day today. I know it wouldn't be a beer with dinner. It would be multiple and back to square one. Even if it was one... what's the point.

Dee74

Many of us drank for years - it's a powerful pull for a while, especially on a Friday.

Have you thought of finding more support Xuse?

D

Hevyn

Hi xuse. It definitely was that much a part of my being. I felt triggered by many things in early recovery. It all settles down after awhile, though. Honestly, the thing I once couldn't live without rarely crosses my mind now. I'd never have thought that was possible.

Glad you are here talking about it and sorting out your feelings. You can do this.

xuse

Dee sticking here right now .When I went back out I had shied away from the forum thinking I had my big boy pants on of course I was wrong I've read the big book a couple times and have been reading on it this time but what like to no what other things are available .I like the forum becouse I have access 24/7 no matter when and where I am.