betterinoc1234

Hi hear is My story and plan.

I have been a heavy drinker all my life. In my 20s and 30s mostly beer with the occasional night of benjing on shots. By mid 30s it was more cocktailing and yes almost every day. If not drinking I was craving. Now just turned 50 and want to be done. Example of how I drink its not uncommon to drink a 750 ML of Jack with 8 to 10 beers in a night often more. Some nights much more. Black out four of five a month not uncommon. I have done a lot of reading and decided cold turkey is not the way to go. Today is my fourth day of my journey. The first day I woke up after a big night drinking kidneys sore head in a daze, this would have been a great day for a salty dog my favorite fix for this kind of day.

Day one: Didn’t drink all day or night, didn’t sleep much that night I was ether cold and shaking or hot and sweaty. I would have dreams but I wasn’t sleeping but not awake. Every time I would drink water I would puke it up. Found just a small sip of juice would stay down. By the time the family awoke I got up showered had coffee and tried to make the most of the day doing what I do. Didn’t eat much as I wasn’t sure it would stay down.

Day two. Stayed to my plan. After work if you call it that had two beers with a friend at about 4:00 that’s about the time we start drinking most days. My wife (Also alcoholic) was telling me told you that you couldn’t do it. Told her my plan. My plan is two nights a week with no alcohol and the other five with in-between one and three drinks a night. Yea was craving drinking especially dealing with my wife getting drunk before my eyes. In a way watching her was helping my urge to quit the drunker she got. This was pretty much a sleepless night with crazy dreams and some chills and hot flashes sweating puking after drinking water but not as bad. Woke up went to work I think I am already feeling better about my self.

Day three: After work stopped by a buddies place about 3:00 it’s the type of place if the garage is open stop by and drink beer and tell lies quite a few guys hang out after work and drink beer. First thing “ Want a beer?” ok sure. I had one beer and said thanks I got some stuff to take care of. Only one beer today! Yea craving more to drink. Again watching wife drink the drunker she gets the more I relies I need to make this work and stop for good. It is now about 3:30 AM having a hard time going back to sleep. I did manage to sleep from about 9:30 to about 2:00 am wakening several times but managing to roll over and go back to sleep

Day four: well 3:45AM had some coffee will try for this to be an alcohol free day. Going to relax on the couch and watch the tube maybe get some more rest.

nogard

Welcome to SR better and congrats Do you have support and a plan? SR helped me a lot in the ealry days.

LexieCat

Hi, and welcome.

Even though you may feel like you made progress by having only one beer, as you noticed it only takes one to re-awaken the cravings to have more. Any alcohol at all keeps the addiction alive and strong.

It's a challenge to get sober and stay that way while you're living with someone who is still drinking, but it CAN be done--I know people who have done it.

The extra support can be invaluable in those situations. Have you considered giving AA a try? It has helped me a ton. Now sober four and a half years.

Anna

Welcome,

Moderation may work for you, who knows?

I think none of us have managed moderation and have found that quitting altogether is the way to go. When I tried to moderate, I was thinking about alcohol all the time and it was such a relief to just be done with it.

WhoDey

Is your "plan" a means to wean yourself from alcohol over time (with abstinence being the goal) or is it a plan to learn to drink in moderation?

Good luck and keep posting.

MIRecovery

Very interested info on controlled drinking

The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com (The Updated Clean Plan for Stability)

Lost3000

I s*cked at controlled/moderate drinking. I just couldn't do it. I'd tell myself "just two", but after those two I just decided to forget my promise and keep going. Seriously, it never worked! I got tired of constantly lying to myself, knowing I was lying. Good luck to you.

betterinoc1234

no support plan as of yet.

betterinoc1234

I have read that quitting cold turkey was bad on your system.
After 4-weeks of light consumption in-between no consumption days I plan on no consumption. later i can give links to where I have read this.

have done AA in early 30 after 1st of two DUI went to AA 90 days stayed sober six months after 2nd DUI 9 years later went to court required program due to high BAC for 18 months. I think with that program I was drinking more.

sugarbear1

Did you work the 12 steps? THOSE are the "program."

Meetings are to find a sponsor or to find someone to sponsor, they don't keep me sober at all.

Lost3000

I don't know what to say to you, but thank you. Your "research" on drinking is helping me stay sober another day. What you are describing, having one drink, then having none, sounds like absolute torture to me.

betterinoc1234

No I didn't. After reading-learning them I was like no way. The one that seemed most impossible was makings amends.

betterinoc1234

Is this an AA sponsored forum? don't intend to offend any one. Its just not for me. I think its entertaining listening to some of the stories that seem to change some as you hear them over and over.

Hear is a link to a page with info on tapering.oops need 15 posts to add a link ck it on google.

Update. No drinking today. I am very tired. I feel like I will sleep well tonight.
Do I want a drink? Yes but no keeping NO on top!! I will be stronger than the alcohol-consuming monster I have let live in me.

EFC

It is not an AA sponsored forum, although a significant majority here use it, so naturally a lot of discussion here involves it. However, there are plenty of us as well that are going a different route.

I wish you the best.

goingtoquit

Congrats on trying to quit, it probably is a good idea to wean yourself off alcohol cause the withdrawals are brutal and can cause death, so be careful with withdrawals, maybe it would be best to see a doctor for help...good luck

Fandy

Welcome better. This is not an AA only forum. There are lots of us who follow different paths.
Read through secular sections, gratitude and everywhere. You might be interested in AVRT?
I suggest you visit your doctor and tell him/her how much you drink, they can help you detox safely. The weaning while in theory sounds safe, really is not the best way.

Change4good

I totally get the fears about going cold turkey and possible withdrawals. But you might want to consider a "rip off the bandaid" approach. See a doctor, explain that you want to detox safely, do this with medical supervision, and then you can be done with it. (At least the abstinence part.)

Then once your body is safely detoxed, you can work on recovery and staying sober. Weaning is incredibly hard, and keeps many people stuck in a painful cycle with poor results.

Best to you. Stay with us, and let us know how you are doing. And no, this isn't an AA board. Lots of people here are actively engaged in other recovery programs that are working well for them.

gaffo

I have never been to an AA meeting but I feel like just having them out there helps me. A lot of what they say doesn't seem to make any sense until you have some sobriety under your belt.

Detox aside, I believe that quitting is the only way to go. Cutting down is actually just as uncomfortable but it doesn't get better. Once I truly quit it started to get better. After six months I felt like I could fly. After a year I really am flying. Good luck.

Fandy

please do let us know how you are doing today.

Lost3000

Not an AA forum. I think that it's helped so many, and so like said above, a lot of us mention it. But I do support other methods and they are on this site as well.