Still dealing with Depression (PAWS).......... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Still dealing with Depression (PAWS)..........


I am able to write this because I am feeling better at the moment. This depression is really starting to get to me. 28 in and I still am fighting this. I know they say PAWS can last for a year, I can't see being about to handle this for that long!

I have been going to the AA meetings and they help. But I have to say that every meeting I have gone to, someone there tells me I need to talk to a doctor. So that is what I did and now I stair at a bottle of Celexa! Please, I can't handle anyone telling me how bad it will be for me to take these meds. I'm still holding out and have an appointment with my regular doctor to see if maybe something else could be causing this.

The morning for me is brutal!!! The Anxiety has eased up a lot but now I have this depression. I don't want to doing anything I like. I just try to pass the time until I get to the afternoon when it always seems to lift. This has been going on for about 4 days now.

One thing I have to say is; I am sick of hearing that this is probably the way I was before I was drinking. Well that is not the case!! Before or while I was drinking. And I wasn't drinking to cover something up. I loved to drink. It was a habit for me. 5 o'clock rolled around and it was time to have a few cocktails. But that was every night for 10 years so I did mess myself up. before that I drank on the weekends only. And I have never drank before 5 pm. Never felt "god I need a drink." Never woke up needing a drink.

And I was the guy that always was helping everyone else deal with their emotional problems. Always there for everyone. People always felt they could cry on my shoulder, And they could!!!

Now after stopping I am dealing with this hell!!!!! I quit cold turkey by accident. I was sick and didn't feel like drinking. 3 day after stopping all hell broke loose. I am better now then I was in the beginning, but this Depression is HELL!!!!

I am really trying to deal with this without the Celexa but if I feel like this for much longer I am going to have to take the pills. There is no meeting on this planet that is going to take away the feeling I have every morning.

Just had to get this out. Thank you!
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Rehab taught me that PAWS can last about one month for every year of drinking.....That means about 35 months for me.....

Those 12 steps saved me from the depression and anxiety, though. I know my brain is still healing!
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:39 PM   #3 (permalink)
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No words of advice for you. I hope you feel better. Hang in there.
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:41 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Rehab taught me that PAWS can last about one month for every year of drinking.....That means about 35 months for me.....

Those 12 steps saved me from the depression and anxiety, though. I know my brain is still healing!
That's awesome, so I have been drinking for 35 years as well. 10 everyday and 25 every weekend. So I can expect to deal with this depression for 35 monthss

Can't get much better than that!
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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That is what rehab "taught" me. Not sure it's reality.

Some people need medication. I chose not to get on any until I am more sober and IF life still sucks.

Today, life is quite manageable!

Besides not drinking, what are you doing for in person support? I make about 1-3 meetings a week, if that. I do have sober friends I keep in daily contact with other than SR.
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:50 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi Bob - none of us are Drs - what you or someone else thinks might be PAWs could just as easily be clinical depression.

I know a lot of us get through early recovery and have a drugs are bad mentality, or the idea of being reliant on another drug scares us...but for some of us it's the difference between a good life and a hard one.

Of course if you don't want to take the meds you've been prescribed, that's up to you - but why not get a second opinion?

Life is too short to go through it depressed, IMO

D
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:50 PM   #7 (permalink)
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That is what rehab "taught" me. Not sure it's reality.

Some people need medication. I chose not to get on any until I am more sober and IF life still sucks.

Today, life is quite manageable!

Besides not drinking, what are you doing for in person support? I make about 1-3 meetings a week, if that. I do have sober friends I keep in daily contact with other than SR.
I go to meetings, but when I feel depressed it is hard to focus. And all they have been telling me to do is go to a doctor.

It's not like I need to talk to someone about controlling my drinking at the moment. The last thing in the world I want right now is a Drink! So I really don't think they can help me manage this depression.

I will make it through this somehow. Thank you!
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:51 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Bob, don't panic about the way you are feeling. Tbh I have suffered from depression and stuff since I quit. It has been pretty bad in some ways but I have been so relieved to be sober that I haven't let it get to me too much. I saw a doc the other day because it is nearly 11 months for me and I still haven't improved much. I have to say the response was quite a relief. He said he wasn't surprised I felt this way at all, that it is common to feel incredibly depressed after overcoming such a huge problem, even this far down the line. What it means is that I am actually processing it. It's a good thing. You can't expect to drink for over a decade and come out all sunshine and roses. And this isn't how you were before you drank. Hell, before I drank I was a 12 yr old girl running about the countryside in pigtails... That ain't who I am now. This is the fallout I'm afraid. But it is positive. You are healing, give it time. And do not hesitate to take medication to help you cope. I flat out refused to do that when I quit. I saw it as a cop out or replacing one thing with another. In retrospect I should have done it. You have your whole life to be sober, there is no harm in making the transition a little easier on yourself. Hope you feel better soon, but if you don't, don't worry about it x
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:52 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Hi Bob - none of us are Drs - what you or someone else thinks might be PAWs could just as easily be clinical depression.

I know a lot of us get through early recovery and have a drugs are bad mentality, or the idea of being reliant on another drug scares us...but for some of us it's the difference between a good life and a hard one.

Of course if you don't want to take the meds you've been prescribed, that's up to you - but why not get a second opinion?

Life is too short to go through it depressed, IMO

D
Thank you Dee74!
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:57 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Bob, don't panic about the way you are feeling. Tbh I have suffered from depression and stuff since I quit. It has been pretty bad in some ways but I have been so relieved to be sober that I haven't let it get to me too much. I saw a doc the other day because it is nearly 11 months for me and I still haven't improved much. I have to say the response was quite a relief. He said he wasn't surprised I felt this way at all, that it is common to feel incredibly depressed after overcoming such a huge problem, even this far down the line. What it means is that I am actually processing it. It's a good thing. You can't expect to drink for over a decade and come out all sunshine and roses. And this isn't how you were before you drank. Hell, before I drank I was a 12 yr old girl running about the countryside in pigtails... That ain't who I am now. This is the fallout I'm afraid. But it is positive. You are healing, give it time. And do not hesitate to take medication to help you cope. I flat out refused to do that when I quit. I saw it as a cop out or replacing one thing with another. In retrospect I should have done it. You have your whole life to be sober, there is no harm in making the transition a little easier on yourself. Hope you feel better soon, but if you don't, don't worry about it x
I really appreciate it Hypochondriac! Thank you!
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:59 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Has anyone out there felt like this at around 28 days and then started getting better?
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Old 01-22-2013, 03:01 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Bob.

My recovery began in a 90 day in-patient rehab in 1989, then straight into AA.

My first year was a *itch.

It hasn't been a cake walk but I'm here today sober and drug free, no pills.

What did your Dr. say when he/she gave you the scrip?

All the best.

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Old 01-22-2013, 03:05 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Old 01-22-2013, 03:25 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Bob.

My recovery began in a 90 day in-patient rehab in 1989, then straight into AA.

My first year was a *itch.

It hasn't been a cake walk but I'm here today sober and drug free, no pills.

What did your Dr. say when he/she gave you the scrip?

All the best.

Bob R
The doc said that the Celexa would help with the depression while I get through this.

Thanks Bob!
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Old 01-22-2013, 04:04 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I too have been dealing with depression off and on through my life, I am now 39 and I was taking pills for it and it did help my depression alot after a while I just quit taking my pills when I knew I was doing better, I never had any addiction to the pills so I was fine..one other depression spell I had bad lasted for about maybe 3 weeks and I never resorted to taking any meds for that time period however I slept non stop pretty much for 2 weeks it was horrible...hope you feel better soon..good luck
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Old 01-22-2013, 04:08 PM   #16 (permalink)
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The doc said that the Celexa would help with the depression while I get through this.

Thanks Bob!
And how did he tell you to get through it ?? Did you tell him how you honestly felt ?? ..... The fear... the hopelessness .... crying in your wife's arms ??

Did you tell him the AA guys said to come to him??

You say the AA guys told you to go to the doctor and the doctor told you to take a pill and get better. Somebody here isn't getting the whole story.

Bob , I wish you the best bit the best isn't going to happen until you get honest.

I hope I'm wrong here.. I hope you prove me wrong. You'll know soon. PM me if you wish.

Bob R
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