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Drinking my Merlot

Old 01-22-2013, 10:48 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Welcome to SR, my story is sitar to Sazzle's. the first few days are tough, but it is worth it. I made sure to plan something else during the time I would have been drinking, exercise, reading, time on here.
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted by seekinga View Post
You are right, I know the answer. But how do I stop... Every time 6pm rolls around I want to have a wine. I feel helpless, I have tried for so long to stop, and have managed 6 months stints but right now it is proving too hard. Any advice is welcome.
Personally I think you have to make the decision to stop on your own. You may need help ( medical, psychological, support groups, family etc.. ) but none of those support mechanisms can make you stop. Did you use any support methods when you stopped for an of the 6 month stints?
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:31 PM
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I like wine too, but chardonnay. I tried to moderate but always resumed daily drinking. Decided to quit last June. I changed up my routine around the time I usually opened a bottle......took lots of walks, cleaned the house, ran errands etc.

The trade off is totally worth it. You'll never wake up in the morning wishing you'd drank the night before Lot os support here, so keep reading and posting.
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Old 01-22-2013, 03:01 PM
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Mine and Sazzle's story is almost identical too!

I've drank when I didn't want to. I've stood in line at the grocery store with a bottle of wine thinking oh my god I don't want to drink this so why the hell am I doing it?? This must be what it feels like to be possessed!

This is my second time at quitting. I quit back in June and for some unknown reason went back to it. This time, I'm feeling the light bulbs go on in my head as I read more and more here. Finally just accepting that I am an alcoholic.

This time my desire to not drink completely outweighs the knowledge that I need stop.

I wish you all the best! Stick around here!!
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Old 01-22-2013, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by PeacefulRain View Post
This time my desire to not drink completely outweighs the knowledge that I need stop.
^^ This!

I no longer question the need to stop. I just do.
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Old 01-22-2013, 03:57 PM
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peaceful rain, I too drank even when I really didn't want to....weird huh? i drank a bottle of wine or more a night. I drank anything white and realized when i started putting ice in it that I really didn't even like it all that much, but KEPT DRINKING.. I'm on day 9 and feeling good.....
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Old 01-22-2013, 04:34 PM
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Welcome!

My suggestion is to get rid of the alcohol in the house and don't buy anymore. Don't go to places where alcohol is being served until you feel much stronger. Shake up your daily routines so you don't drive home by the same wine store each day. Go out after supper and walk or do some kind of exercise. Learn new and healthy ways to reward yourself. Buy a new book you want or treat yourself to a new haircut, whatever works for you. And, keep visiting SR because we do understand how hard this is.
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Old 01-22-2013, 04:35 PM
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I began to grab the glass and have my evening wine out of pure habit. It just was like, "Time to make dinner, pour a glass and start dinner." Like knee jerk. It was crazy. I have found myself drinking without really wanting to. One such occasion was a relapse on vacation about 2 years ago. I had been stopped for about 4 months and drank simply because i knew my hubby would be each night of vacation. I did not really *want* to, but just did it out of complacency because I would be so bored and annoyed hanging with him without a computer or my usual stuff to distract me. I justified it as a vacation thing. But soon was back close to old habits with drinking a few nights a week, sometimes more. Not quite as bad as before, but bad enough.

I had really thought I could do it just for the vacation. Nope. Red wine is my thing too. Quit again in November, but have slipped(Thanksgiving and a night in December?). That pull is strong.

Welcome to SR. You will find lots of support here. I used to drink just like you. a bottle a night, sometimes more on weekends. I have suffered serious health issues due, in part, to it.
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:23 PM
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Originally Posted by seekinga View Post
I always want to stop drinking, but when I do I last about 3 days then have a really productive day followed by my reward of drinking wine and I am back to square 1.

Wow I thought I was the only one. Yea I know the feeling. I go strong for sometimes a week...and have an outstanding day..and instead of rewarding myself in a positive way...I buy a bottle or a 6 pack...it takes several more sessions of this before I see the error in my ways...you already taken the correct step. Just know that self entitlement for a job well done dosen't have to be getting drunk. Take care.
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:43 PM
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Get some support

Originally Posted by seekinga View Post
You are right, I know the answer. But how do I stop... Every time 6pm rolls around I want to have a wine. I feel helpless, I have tried for so long to stop, and have managed 6 months stints but right now it is proving too hard. Any advice is welcome.
Every day I want to drink between a pint and 750ml of vodka but I don't.I'm not 13 any more I can't always do what I want.

How do I do stay sober? Well, I go to AA, I have a sponsor, I do service work and don't pick up that first drink. In fact, I can't even have a single sip or the obsession picks away at me and I think I can handle a 1/2 pint. That 1/2 pint lasts a day then the next I decide to buy a pint and then I'm buying 750ml of vodka daily. I only have 62 days of continual sobriety (that's after living 12 years like you ...pick up...put down...pick up....put down [never more than two consecutive days]) All I can tell you is what worked for me (and 2M others).

The big book of AA says that alcoholism is a an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind. The alcoholic suffers from an "allergy of the body" that
makes them unable to ingest alcohol without experiencing the
"phenomenon of craving" and an "obsession of the mind" that tells him
that he can drink anyway - blocking out ALL of the bad **** that happens when we drink.

I know I could relapse at any moment should I choose to not work (that's the key you can't coast) my program.

Don't get discouraged it took me 12 years to gain 62 days of continual sobriety.

All the best and keep posting!
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:26 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Thank you so much to all of you that have taken the time to post.
Well today has been good, I have made up my mind that I have stopped for good. I have spoken to my partner about it and he is relieved and was more worried than he let on. I know it is going to be tough but I am going to take all of your suggestions and make it work.
The other few times I have stopped for 6 month stints were following very big nights and terrible hangovers but because this time I am making the decision with my head and heart and not because I just think I should I am hoping it will last forever.

To be honest I am just totally fed up and sick of thinking about alcohol and about stopping and about everything else that goes along with it. I want my freedom back and my head clear! Will keep you posted Thanks again for being so welcoming
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:44 AM
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Good decision Seeking! There is a 'class of January' in this section that you can join for daily support with others that have quit throughout jan.

Good to have you on board. Just get over the 3 day hump and you'll be fine.

S x
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:58 AM
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I wanted to believe for the longest time that I could be an on occasion drinker, but have learned time and time again that I cannot.

This time I am going to try and outpatient program. A huge step, but considering I haven't been able to stay sober in the past for an extended period of time (aside from being pregnant) this is the help I need!

If you have insurance start with looking into your coverage options. If you don't have insurance their are other options, you just have to be willing to look for them and make the steps towards getting yourself some help.

You can do it!
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Old 01-23-2013, 01:20 AM
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Thanks Sazzle - whereabouts do I find the Class of January 2013??
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Old 01-23-2013, 01:25 AM
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http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html

See if this works! I use an app to read this forum but I've just got this link from the website. Lots of lovely helpful people in this class. A new one starts each month.

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