PeacefulRain

This is a question out of pure curiosity.

How many here had a wonderful childhood?

I personally would never want to be a child again. I'm not blaming my alcoholism on my childhood, that was all my doing. It was awful though and I would never want to go back. I just wonder if that is a common theme amongst most of us here.

scottydee1946

Had an alcoholic father, brother and half-brother; all of them raging. I would never want to go back to that time.

LexieCat

Mine was pretty darned good. I think every human being goes through some emotional trauma--it's part of life. But no abuse, no alcoholism addiction in my family. My biggest problems were making friends (I was pretty much a nerd in school, and I'm still a little on the nerdy side).

I don't think alcoholism or addiction is "caused" by childhood trauma (though it is a contributing factor for some people). If you don't have childhood pain, there is plenty to go around later in life. None of us gets through life unscathed. I think alcoholics and addicts find an easy way to deal with it, though, and don't learn the coping skills that other people seem to develop (the healthy other people, that is).

suki44883

Looking back, I can see that my childhood wasn't ideal, but at the time, I didn't know any different. My father was an alcoholic and left my mother and me for another woman who was also an alcoholic. My mother very rarely ever drank. Thankfully, my mother loved me very much and worked tooth and nail to make a decent living for us. She worked factory type jobs since she had no training. She wound up retiring from Miller Brewery though and has a very nice retirement fund, so she did better than she ever would have if she and my father had stayed together.

I don't blame anyone for my alcoholism. Sure, I may have been predisposed to it since my father was alcoholic and several members of both his and my mother's family were and had been alcoholic. He died at 58 from cirrhosis. I know he loved me in his own way. He wasn't a very good father, but he did love me the best he was able.

Wifi

I came from a loving caring family and alcohol was pretty much non-existant...

I certainly can't blame my problem on my childhood...

LindaLou

I come from a long line of alcoholics, but not abusive. My dad died when I was 7 from alcohol. My mom, who is now 83, still drinks Gin almost daily. I have to be very careful when I visit her because I know she has it.

Jeni26

Mine wasn't good at all, but I have learned to forgive all but 1 of the people involved in that.
I don't blame anyone for my alcoholism. I believe I was born an alcoholic. Maybe there were genetics involved as there is a high rate of it in my family, but I don't know for sure.
But I don't believe it was caused by trauma, although once it had got a hold of me, I did drink to run from the memories for a long time.

ForMyGirls

I had a wonderful childhood. Albeit, alcoholism and/or heavy drinking ran pretty rampant on both sides of my family....

There were no mean or abusive drunks to speak of, but I did grow up thinking that nightly drinking was the "normal" thing to do....

Paddler

I had a wonderful childhood, also. Loving parents who are still together after nearly 40 years. No alcohol in the house (except to make whiskey/honey/and lemon) for cough syrup. My sisters and I joke that's the reason I turned to heavier drinking as an adult. I had lots of friends, played sports, attended church, went on to scholar shipped college and graduate school. I started drinking socially at 20 in college... it was a slippery slope.

Neither sister drinks.

I have heard 3 of my great grandfathers were also alcoholics. One was abusive and nonexistent... which led to many problems for my grandmother.

Two gave up drinking in their 30's for some reason. No one seems to know why... but at 32, and trying to give it up myself, I think I might know their reasoning...

friday13

I had and have a very loving mother and siblings. I am so grateful for that. I also have a very good relationship with my maternal grandad and paternal grandma. That said there was a lot that could have been better. My dad was abusive towards my mum and sister and left when I was 18 months old. he has never been able to express emotion. I may not be close to him but he did fight to see me through the family courts which shows something. My stepdad was abusive to everyone but only emotionally abusive to me (I say "only" but it has certainly left it's mark). I was under a lot of pressure to perform academically and be the perfect child which I did until I was 17 and completely lost the plot landing me in hospital for a long time.

I don't blame my childhood for my alcoholism or any of my other issues although I think I would have had better coping mechanisms if I had grown up in an environment where emotions were allowed to be expressed.

2granddaughters

I didn't have a particularly happy childhood but I sure has been a long one ...




j/k it was quite normal but it never quite measured up to expectations.

All the best.

Bob R

Eddie2010

Mine started really bad, then was fairly great, then got progressively worse through high school. Neither parent drank, but all three of us kids were told constantly that we were failures. My older sister drank heavily and went to rehab 3 times (she died at 48 from circumstances related to her drinking). I started drinking heavily after finishing college. My younger sister is in prison. I think building good self esteem would have helped, but, I really think there is more of a genetic thing going on rather than a difficult childhood that's mostly to blame.

Xune

Mine was pretty good. Of course it wasn't perfect. None are.

HereIAm321

Aside from my parents divorcing when I was 10, I had probably one of the best childhoods out there in terms of unconditional love, support, positive words, admiration, and hugs and kisses.

I was probably told I was loved at least 3 times a day if not more.

HereIAm321

Also, alcohol was never present, nor were drugs. I've mentioned that my mother was a substance abuse counselor. I never saw her nor my dad drink anymore than perhaps 1 glass of wine a YEAR, and it was on Passover, etc.

LindaLou

Hey Eddie,

I think the media also plays a role in alcoholism. Look at the commercials, they're everywhere! Hanging out at the bar with friends and few beers, relaxing with coctails....they make it look glamorous. Trouble is, they don't show you those same people the next day!

2granddaughters

I can honestly say that I was only called a failure when I was. And I couldn't stand it.

All the best.

Bob R

Weasel1966

Mine was less than stellar. I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic house. I had the police called a few times. I was called a worthless pice of sh!t more than my name by my step father.

Can I blame all that? I can tell you my self worth was level set very low and as a result I certainly drank to not feel that way.

I am happy to hear that others had good childhoods. I see good partents sometimes and think wow... I can only imagine what it feels like to have that.

I would be a good dad I think. I will never know. And I am cool with that.

LisbethSalander

I was molested by my stepfather from 8 years old until I was about 17. My biological father and brother have both had issues with alcohol.

Eddie2010

It's so true. They show happy actors drinking all the time and it seems like it's available everywhere. I was watching "The Layover" with Anthony Bourdain and all I could think of was "My god, he's been drinking the whole show!" And he was visibly wasted. While in Dublin, he even mentioned having taken Vicodin and having more drinks in the morning to get moving after his night out. I deleted further shows from my dvr. Sorry Anthony, I need better role models.