wpainterw

601blues: Would following these suggestions and becoming tied up in what could be lengthy and expensive litigation be a major obstacle to xristoff's getting a focus on the main issue, that is getting a handle on the drinking and a rapid entry into long term recovery? Would a public airing of a grievance against a former employer raise doubts in the eyes of future prospective employers? And, finally, if an employer provides alcohol at a Christmas party does that employer thereby become legally responsible for an employee's inappropriate behavior at the party, resulting in complaints from fellow employees, and going on a three day binge?
Would it not be better to focus as much energy as possible into getting well? If a legal remedy is possible (and I have my doubts about this) would it not be better to wait for awhile (assuming that the statute of limitations does not run) instead of rushing off to a courthouse and risking stress which could well interfere with recovery?

W.

LatteLady

Is everyone keeping mind that this person is in Toronto? Are Canadian laws different than US?
Xr, I wish you the very best and consider this a lesson learned. How well learned depends on you.
In my home mtg are a few gossips/ego graspers, but I usually just sit back and will take in the whole experience until I feel more comfortable. Then and only then will I seek a sponsor.

773niki

Hi there - I have unfortunately gotten fired from 2 jobs for reasons stemming from drinking too much, taking off too much time, etc. God, I hate this disease. I only leave one of those jobs off my resume since I didn't perform well and got fired only after 2-3 months of working there. There was nothing good about my performance or that job so I left if off my resume. However, the other one I had for 3 years and did great at...but they smelled booze and let me go. I still got a letter of recommendation since I told them I went to treatment. That's a hard road to take though.

If I were you - I would probably stretch the truth and say that your contract was up. You don't have to give them as a reference. The one I'm talking about was out of the state I live in now, so I easily said I left it because of relocation. You can say the contract was up though - since it seemed to be almost up anyway, right?

I'm sorry this happened - I know the feeling all too well. I also know the sad state of affairs that a bender after that can do to a person. If it makes you feel any better - I'm 86 days sober today - but lost my most recent job, again, due to alcohol. I sought help, went to treatment, but they didn't want me back, which is illegal since I had approved medical leave, so they offered me severance and unemployment money, which I took, because I too made a fool out of myself at a meeting in September.

Moving on forward. Try to stay sober for this - life and attitude gets soooooo much better. Trust me! good luck!

gonzo4419

Welcome xristoff, while there may be legal recourse or whatever with your dismissal I think that you having gone on a 1 month bender should be your main focus here. Work on that first and foremost before dealing with employment options or the same situation will just come up again in some other form.

healin

I too lost my job in the first week of this year because of my actions which resulted in theft even though that was not what I would call it(taking something from a waste skip). It was scrap metal which I took to feed my crack habit and if I had known it would be reported as "theft" I would not have even touched it. When we are in those empowering states of mind we will all do things that others would not. I'm sure you are regretting your actions now as I'am also but keep your head up and try to guide your thoughts to something positive and influential

TheEnd

11 Years ago I was fresh out of college, landed an awesome job and lost it a month later, because I got a DUI, but at the time I didn't see it as a big thing.

8 Years later, I was working a great job and an my way to an awesome career and almost lost that job, because I got a second DUI.

My point in telling you this, is I hope you realize what actually happened and take the proper steps to get help or else you will be in the same situation again. And let me tell you, when you find yourself in the same place that you were before, you will be kicking yourself. Luckily I finally recognized my addiction and took the proper steps to get help and saved my job.

I hope you have learned from this incident, because if you haven't, it will keep on repeating itself, except each time it will be even harder to rebound from.

Windancer

Sorry to hear of this.
I did something similar once, though it wasnt a "dream" job. You arent the only one.
I got LOADED while AT work. Obviously I was fired asap.
Ive also mad a complete a** out of myself at numerous weddings. The last one was my bf's sisters wedding, and there were numerous complaints.
You can spring back from it though!

2granddaughters

It doesn't work for those who don't surrender. It says In HOW IT WORKS "Half measures availed us nothing".

I wish you the best in whatever you choose. I hope you get back to us relatively unscathed.

Loosing the job is the least of your worries.

All the best.

Bob R

xristoff

Could somebody please let me know?

If it is only AA's this will be my last post.

Any info appreciated.

vegibean

NO, IT IS NOT!!! I know many people who have stayed sober for years without the continuous support of AA.

Just know everyone is trying to help you, but I don't want you to not post here because you may feel people are trying to push it on you, including me because I may have mentioned it as well.

The most important thing is not picking up that drink and no matter what it takes, do what you think is going to help you.

Just know though that a lot of us, this isn't our first rodeo so we really are just trying to tell you what is true and tried.

Don't leave xristoff.

Zee

Nah... it's not AA only (I rush to point out that I am NOT against AA!)
I gave up drinking because I got alcoholic hepatitis, scared straight, thats all... sometimes you need a scoot up the backside to realise that alcohol is not for you... I was massively ill and I knew I had to stop or die. Redundancy and death of mother within a year flipped me over the edge with my drinking... it's called rock bottom... bah! I'm doing ok now, liver is settled and I now love coffee I wish you luck x

renaldo

That doesn't seem right at all. If it's being thrown away, it's up for grabs. I guess they just put 2 and 2 together and had an inclination about your crack habit.

I didn't make a habit of dumpster diving at my last long term full time job, but if saw slightly defective computer chairs being thrown away, I grabbed them for sure. I've got 3 of them. Never grabbed scrap metal though.

I had a roommate who used to do speedballs at night and strap on a miner's helmet and go dumpster diving at a university where there were a bunch of rich kids. He said, "They'd throw away perfectly functional TVs... you name it. I bet if they could fit a car in the dumpster they would have thrown it away."

gonzo4419

If it's in a garbage bin then they wouldn't do anything, if it is in a waste metal recycling bin then they get money for that scrap based on weight so yeah could see how they might call it theft.

wpainterw

xristoff: Glad you asked. No, this SR website is for anyone wishing to get sober and stay sober. And even for those who are just having lots of problems with booze or drugs and haven't figured out what to do about it. AA is not the only way to get into recovery. For some it seems to have worked out. Others have chosen another path.
Don't get me wrong about what I said about legal remedies. It's just that the big risk seems to me that you may start drinking again. This is a very dangerous time for folks trying to get into recovery. Your body's probably trying to do everything it can to convince your mind that it's O.K. to start self medicating with alcohol. And stresses and tensions, frustrations-you name it- associated with recourse to lawyers and law, whether in Canada, the U.S. or anywhere, may make it even harder, or perhaps impossible, to maintain sobriety. If there's a fairly decent statute of limitations, I'd defer thinking about legalities until you feel a little more sure of yourself. But that's merely my opinion. Bringing a lawsuit right now doesn't seem like a good way to start looking for new employment. Good luck.

W.

PeacefulRain

Nope, I don't do AA.

SeekSobriety

Losing jobs, getting into fights , getting into car accidents, Landing in a Jail, E.R visits and Hospitals are a typical result of Alcohol abuse. For me it takes realizing that I have a problem and need professional help.

Will getting sober help someone get there job back? Save them from Jail, bring back the injured or the dead from DUI? Not usually. But will it allow us to to move forward and become a new person, no longer held down by the bondage of Alcoholism? It can help us repair past mistakes or at least assume responsibility for them.

It is not easy but it is not anywhere near as hard as sustaining a alcohol and drug fueled existence. The lying, the excuses the depression.

When one is ready to get serious about recovery, there are many options and organizations that are there to help. It will require doing the work. Many people who were hopeless and living on the streets, have been able to turn there lives around, if you want to get serious about sobriety there is certainly help out there.

I hope that you are able to turn this difficult time in life to free yourself from the bondage of Alcoholism and take back control. As you know Things only eventually continue to get worse when one continues to abuse drugs and alcohol. The good news is that there is another way and there is lots of help and support here and in many of the hundreds if not thousands of programs available world wide.

Do you have a Doctor you can ask for a recommendation to a Alcohol recovery program? Perhaps your state has a state sponsored recovery program or can provide low cost options if money is tight. You can contact a local major university and ask to speak to the Psychology Chair, perhaps they have or know of some low cost recovery resource programs that you can get involved with.

soberlicious

Hi xristoff...have you ever read about AVRT? There are 5 threads in the secular section, as well as lots of other good reading if you are looking for an alternative to 12 step recovery methods. Worth reading to see if something there fits for you.

People end their addictions in myriad ways. You can too.

wpainterw

I agree with Soberlicious. Rational Recovery (AVRT) has many good aspects and insights. I don't personally think that it's inconsistent with many of the best features of AA and, for many of those who find AA uncongenial, it seems to work. I do however think that having some kind of recovery support group is helpful- if not AA, then perhaps some other kind of support group. Perhaps there are doctors or counselors who can direct a person to such groups.

W.