Hello everyone, I'm currently drunk
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 10
Hello everyone, I'm currently drunk
I'm a 22 year old male. I live in my parent's basement and we actually have a pretty good relationship. I'm relatively good looking and smart and funny and have a decent job. However, I have underachieved for quite some time. Many of my friends have recently graduated college and work for big companies and law firms and get drunk and party in the city (I live in New York state - not the city). I pretty much sip on wine and beers and cocktails in my parents basement while listening to music and playing guitar. I can't lie - I'm jealous of all the fun they have.
I have made progress with addiction - I quit cigarettes and marijuana on the same day about a year ago - I have not relapsed and have no intention to do so. I very much enjoy my lung's new found capacity. However, my drinking has steadily increased.
In fact, I'm amazed at how I'm able to type this right now without making any typos or grammatical mistakes. When I was 16, I would have a few beers and be all jolly and call people on the phone and... ya know... carouse. Now, it just kind of numbs me and I space out. I can easily drink a 6 pack of high ABV beer or an entire bottle of wine or 4 cocktails and no one would know the difference.
I'm literally quite drunk right now and just talked to someone on the phone - they had no idea. It's gotten to the point where I don't enjoy drinking, I just don't like not drinking. It's like a game, it's just something that helps pass the time.
For 2 or 3 days a week I'm sober (especially after quitting weed - before that I was never really sober) and I enjoy it. But when I have work off the next day, AND when I'm actually sitting at home for a day off, I get drunk. I'm 5'10 tall and weigh 175 pounds, I work out, and I eat a pretty clean diet with lots of vegetables, salads, fruits, nuts, and lean chicken. But I live an isolated life of sipping booze and ******* around on the internet. I was a lot worse when I was smoking pot daily. But I really need to cut this **** out. My stomach feels like a vat of acid and I don't really see the point in doing what I'm doing.
I've already gotten accustomed to living a fairly isolated life - So I don't know how much this forum will really help... But it's only 6 o'clock and I'm already feeling emotional and nostalgic and drunk. Quitting cigs and weed has done nothing but improve my life... I hope I can quit the drinking and reclaim my life as it once was. I miss how I felt when I was a child. All the wonder and joy seems to have faded to a bland monotonous grey.
Well, anyway, wish me luck.
I have made progress with addiction - I quit cigarettes and marijuana on the same day about a year ago - I have not relapsed and have no intention to do so. I very much enjoy my lung's new found capacity. However, my drinking has steadily increased.
In fact, I'm amazed at how I'm able to type this right now without making any typos or grammatical mistakes. When I was 16, I would have a few beers and be all jolly and call people on the phone and... ya know... carouse. Now, it just kind of numbs me and I space out. I can easily drink a 6 pack of high ABV beer or an entire bottle of wine or 4 cocktails and no one would know the difference.
I'm literally quite drunk right now and just talked to someone on the phone - they had no idea. It's gotten to the point where I don't enjoy drinking, I just don't like not drinking. It's like a game, it's just something that helps pass the time.
For 2 or 3 days a week I'm sober (especially after quitting weed - before that I was never really sober) and I enjoy it. But when I have work off the next day, AND when I'm actually sitting at home for a day off, I get drunk. I'm 5'10 tall and weigh 175 pounds, I work out, and I eat a pretty clean diet with lots of vegetables, salads, fruits, nuts, and lean chicken. But I live an isolated life of sipping booze and ******* around on the internet. I was a lot worse when I was smoking pot daily. But I really need to cut this **** out. My stomach feels like a vat of acid and I don't really see the point in doing what I'm doing.
I've already gotten accustomed to living a fairly isolated life - So I don't know how much this forum will really help... But it's only 6 o'clock and I'm already feeling emotional and nostalgic and drunk. Quitting cigs and weed has done nothing but improve my life... I hope I can quit the drinking and reclaim my life as it once was. I miss how I felt when I was a child. All the wonder and joy seems to have faded to a bland monotonous grey.
Well, anyway, wish me luck.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi there,
I know all about being comfortable in isolation--the problem is that alcoholism THRIVES on isolation. A lot of recovery involves moving out of your comfort zone.
My suggestion is that you break out of your self-imposed prison (not that you can't be happily sober and still spend a lot of time alone, if that's what you like, but the recovery process works better if you spend time in the company of others doing the same thing). Try getting out to an AA meeting. You might be pleasantly surprised how good it feels to pick up some of the hope floating around those rooms.
I know all about being comfortable in isolation--the problem is that alcoholism THRIVES on isolation. A lot of recovery involves moving out of your comfort zone.
My suggestion is that you break out of your self-imposed prison (not that you can't be happily sober and still spend a lot of time alone, if that's what you like, but the recovery process works better if you spend time in the company of others doing the same thing). Try getting out to an AA meeting. You might be pleasantly surprised how good it feels to pick up some of the hope floating around those rooms.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Hey mjc, welcome to SR, there are a lot of people that can relate to your situation, including myself. What did you do to get yourself off of cigarettes and weed? I quit smoking two years ago, so congrats to the both of us on that one, very unhealthy habit as well.
It sounds like you might need some help in quitting, and you are sure to get tons of great advise here. Welcome.
It sounds like you might need some help in quitting, and you are sure to get tons of great advise here. Welcome.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome mjc! You found a great place to share your feelings and find some hope. I wish I'd figured out what you have when I was only 22. I went on drinking for many more years, always knowing I shouldn't be, but afraid to let go of it.
Keep reading and posting. You can definitely stop and get your life back. No more being numb and phoning it in.
Keep reading and posting. You can definitely stop and get your life back. No more being numb and phoning it in.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Mjc
Try not to get into the habit of comparing your life to everyone elses... What do you want to do Mjc? While it's true that alcohol and addictive behaviour will do nothing but hold you back that doesn't mean you have to do what everyone else is doing.
Glad you're here x
Try not to get into the habit of comparing your life to everyone elses... What do you want to do Mjc? While it's true that alcohol and addictive behaviour will do nothing but hold you back that doesn't mean you have to do what everyone else is doing.
Glad you're here x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Welcome mjc,
I drank to relax and take the edge off. Getting sober has meant I've had to learn new ways to relax. Sobriety has restored my pleasure in simple things, which I'd lost in my bottle of wine. The trade off has been totally worth it....why not join us and try? Seven months for me tomorrow
I drank to relax and take the edge off. Getting sober has meant I've had to learn new ways to relax. Sobriety has restored my pleasure in simple things, which I'd lost in my bottle of wine. The trade off has been totally worth it....why not join us and try? Seven months for me tomorrow
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
welcome mjc
SR was really important to me - it was that first step in connecting with people again after a long long isolation.
This community helped me turn things around - I know you'll find help here to do the same
D
SR was really important to me - it was that first step in connecting with people again after a long long isolation.
This community helped me turn things around - I know you'll find help here to do the same
D
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
have you given any thought to getting your own place to live? At 22 you're an adult. I was partying around your age and was told straight up, if you got money to party on, you got money to live at your own place. You really don't want to continue living in your parent's basement do you?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 908
Welcome mjc, as a 20 year old male, my current situation is scarily similar to yours. I too got to the point here I drank just to feel 'normal', or felt no different after a substantial amount of booze.
There's alot of support to be had on this forum, i've come on leaps and bounds since I joined. I'm still in the early days of recovery (getting progressively better and learning more about my addiction each time)
I wish you the best , this is something we can all beat
There's alot of support to be had on this forum, i've come on leaps and bounds since I joined. I'm still in the early days of recovery (getting progressively better and learning more about my addiction each time)
I wish you the best , this is something we can all beat
to the site! There's a lot of support and useful info here. Use it to make your life better.Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 10
Find a better or more challenging job? Take up some volunteer work? Find some hobbies that get you out of the house, even if its just taking a walk to the park and playing guitar there. Look for some local meet-up type groups to get together with. If alcohol is your time waster, find a new way to waste time.
And use extreme caution, don't let yourself think for a second that just because you function perfectly and can hide intoxication from others that alcohol can't have quite a firm hold on you. It is easy for that to give a false sense of security but wow one day you experience withdrawal and that is an experience that at 22 hopefully you've never had before and can really hit you in a way you never really imagined. It sure surprised me, the notion that one could be fully functional and able to conceal their drinking but at the same time being told by a doctor that if they quit it could kill them.
And use extreme caution, don't let yourself think for a second that just because you function perfectly and can hide intoxication from others that alcohol can't have quite a firm hold on you. It is easy for that to give a false sense of security but wow one day you experience withdrawal and that is an experience that at 22 hopefully you've never had before and can really hit you in a way you never really imagined. It sure surprised me, the notion that one could be fully functional and able to conceal their drinking but at the same time being told by a doctor that if they quit it could kill them.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Welcome. The thing with alcohol is there is no escaping it. Meaning, it we have a problem with it at 22 we'll have one at 32. There is no "out growing" this thing. The primary motivator for recovery is pain. I tried every imaginable way to control my drinking and they all failed. Some worked for a short time, but inevitably I was drunk soon after another form of control had failed.
When we are drinking we can't imagine life without it. Fast forward a little bit into our lives in recovery and we realize that all of those drunken feelings, the nostalgia, the happiness, the sadness, etc.. none of it means anything. None of it is real.
I have learned so much about myself since getting sober. You just can't explain it.
I wish you the best but until we're in enough pain to change, we don't.
When we are drinking we can't imagine life without it. Fast forward a little bit into our lives in recovery and we realize that all of those drunken feelings, the nostalgia, the happiness, the sadness, etc.. none of it means anything. None of it is real.
I have learned so much about myself since getting sober. You just can't explain it.
I wish you the best but until we're in enough pain to change, we don't.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
welcome mjc I used to drink in isolation too and when you said "emotional and nostalgic" I totally got that. It was like living in the past or hoping for a better future. But that would never happen unless I put down the drink and started participating in life. You can do this!
I used to drink in isolation too and when you said "emotional and nostalgic" I totally got that. It was like living in the past or hoping for a better future. But that would never happen unless I put down the drink and started participating in life. You can do this!
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