tomndallas

Thanks for the encouraging words. I might try to break out for a meeting at lunch if work allows. Yes the withdrawal symptoms pretty much blow! You would think it would be a deterrent, but just goes to show you how powerful this beast is.

Serenity now! LOL!

tomndallas

Just went to my first meeting during lunch. Not bad overall very nice people.

tomndallas

image-3262803854.jpg

Got my first coin, what denominations do these things come in?

Pamel

WTG! i have mine sitting here just waiting to be needed (and deserved).

Delilah1

Welcome to SR!!!

tomndallas

I keep rubbing this dang thing waiting for the genie to pop out! LOL. I tell you I am such a stinking space cadet. withdrawal is giving me such a case of ADHD it is rediculous.

I really liked the people today, just took almost 2 hours for lunch to go and come back and stop at the drive through on the way back. May have to go after work as I do not want any troubles.

Thanks for the welcomes!

drunkyjules

Good job Tom!! You are taking some awesome steps!!!! I have one of those coins to and have almost rubbed the finish off!

I stopped at the store after work for a few groceries and had to tell my AV to shut the hell up!! It is cold and dreary here (below 20 degrees) and after a long day at work the beast tried to convince me I deserved a treat for my long frustrating day. I ended up getting some hot cocoa to warm up with!! Woo hoo!! I feel good though that craving has passed.

Hang in there buddy, you can do this!

tomndallas

Nice job Jules, yes I too have been learning to listen for when my AV starts talking to me. IT no longer has control. Just got back from a brisk walk with my wife and the dog.

Hopefully I can escape for another meeting tomorrow, if not I will attend an online session.

I am proud of you for getting that cocoa, keep it up!

Hevyn

Proud of your accomplishment, tom. You can definitely do this and have a new life. No more misery.

member72

Fantastic job. Glad to hear your workplace will allow an extended lunch. Makes perfect sense to me, but some places are not so understanding. Keep it up look forward to hearing from you soon!

tomndallas

Yes, if I don't abuse it I can sneak out for an extended lunch from time to time, just not every day. I will make up the time by coming in early. I do not want to let the cat out of the bag to work, these days the way companies layoff and fire I am reluctant to hand over the ammunition.

Thanks very much for the support, things are looking up.

artsoul

Welcome Tom!

Sounds like you're off to a good start! Be good to yourself and keep the stress low..... vitamins, etc...... Glad you're here!

tomndallas

Made it to 3, slept better last night. Reading posts this morning, some of our friends had slips, I do not want to do that.

Gotta travel out of town for an over nite trip, but I am sure all will be ok.

Good luck and good morning friends!

tomndallas

Just made it to the hotel. Winding down day three and I am proud. I attended my second meeting and just listened to some of the old timers share, it was neat hearing their insight. When I was about 30 minutes away, I pulled off to gas up and eat after riding almost 4 hours. Best option was Chili's so I braved sitting at the bar for a quick meal and hit the road.

The urge was there but I did not drink. What was CRAZY was my AV!! I think I am starting to already learn the difference. It was like someone was screaming at me inside my own head. It was saying things like...

You gonna be a loser and not drink your whole life?
You really wanna hang out with those drunks at those meetings?
Look at them they don't even look like they can be trusted!
Your never gonna have any normal friends!
I'll just wait, you'll wanna celebrate eventually!

I started feeling remorse, and fear, then it hit me, IT was my AV, that reptilian part of my brain working against me to get what IT needed, not what I, Tom, need.

I started addressing IT

Your not the boss of me, I call the shots!
I will LiVE in sobriety, not DIE penniless and alone!
I am doing the right thing for me and my family!
I will live in the NOW, learn from my past, and only look forward to a HEALTHY future!

Then I started thinking about the water boy movie and the scene about the medulla oblongata, I started cracking up, much needed comic relief.

I can do this...no no...I AM doing this! And Mr. IT is powerless to stop me.

Good friends who are struggling tonight, I have faith in YOU! I believe in YOU! If this poor sap can do it, it's possible for anyone.

Still got the cold clammy hands, the itches, the panic attacks, the anxiety...but it is feeling better, I feel better, Hope is alive and I am PROUD OF ME!!

tomndallas

Thanks buddy, I really like quote in your signature. It is helping survive, living in the now. As far as a stress free life, not sure what that is, but I am doing everything to at least ratchet it down a few notches. Thanks for the support ya'll.

tomndallas

Day 5 and rapidly closing in on my first milestone of 1 week. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts, shares, and help. You give me hope.

drunkyjules

Is that your dog in your pic Tom??? What a cutie! I have to muts myself that are spoiled as can be......the one is beside me snoring on the couch.

What breed is that?

member72

Great going Tom, keep up the hard work. We CAN all do this together.

Delilah1

Great job on five days Tom, those first few days are the hardest. Sounds like you are doing really well, keep up the great work!!!

tomndallas

He is a German shepherd, he is a mess no doubt and spoiled rotten! We call him our starter child, haha.

Morning to everyone, have a blessed day and thinking of you all.