deeker

A good friend of mine relapsed after 4 yrs of sobriety. I could tell he was beat.........

Doesn't look like it is getting any better out there friends.

I hadn't seen him at a meeting in a long , long time....

This person used to come in and share his story along with me at detox.He stopped coming around, Dropped out of service.He got to busy, He got a little to confident.......

I think he may have forgot where he came from......

Happened to me to recently....

I have heard people in here say that they are recovered.I guess I just don't get it........

I hope to never be fully recovered because that to me would mean I am closing my mind to new revelations in growth, that means I know it all.........

I could not possibly know everything there is to know about recovery. I am always learning.......

Emotional and spititual growth is an ongoing process that I hope will never end for me..........

I got complacent.I remember it happened after 2 1/2 yrs of sobriety. I began to get a life again.......

I got a job, had a baby, was wrapped up in house renovations, family gatherings......

I would say Gee, I really need to get to a meeting, only to start another project.........

I found I wasn't talking to God as much and letting up on calls to others in the program.....
It wasn't long before The serenity I thought I had began to slip away. Stuff was becoming more important to me than my peace of mind, then my sobriety.....

My attitude became negative...

Everyone could see it but me.I see it in other people who think they have this thing down........
They give there peace away to easy..........

I eventually did relapse too......

I stayed out there for a very long time. I finally surrendered to this program .I now realize that I have to be commited to my recovery......

I have to put it ahead of everything else.I lost so much this last time out........

I lost all that stuff I put before my recovery. The house, the job,the truck, the family I tried to please.......


I gave it all away really.If I don't work on my daily program of action I don't have any of those things......

Having those things in my life are the gifts of working my program on a daily basis.......

So today I can not afford to be to busy with work, family, house projects, that I put my recovery second. ....

Now I put things in front of a relapse. Prayer,Meetings, Sponsor, Step work and Service......

If I let up on these things I know I am in danger..

Recovery for me takes effort. I don't even watch TV anymore. I spend a good amount of the day doing stuff related to my recovery.......

I read a lot, I pray a lot, I listen to newcomers a lot.It keeps me sober and happy........

It is a few simple things that keep me in balance daily, when I do them in balance lol.

Because I do these things I am able to maintain those other areas of my life, but most importantly I maintain my serenity and peace of mind.
Thanks Have a Blessed Day friends!

carvel

WOW! Great post. I've been complacent lately and not putting my recovery first. I agree with you that our recovery journey is never complete.

Thanks for the reminder.

Fallow

I believe you can be recovered from alcoholism and still growing spiritually. Thats my goal.

Edit: and I know now my recovery has to be 1st always... I always wanted to avoid that reality.

CAPTAINZING2000

We call that living life on life's terms. I was never too busy to drink, I'm never too busy for a meeting. Pretty important to have a home group meeting. Even after numerous years of sobriety, a newcommer or a retread is a gentle reminder to not forget where I came from.

I've got even more to lose this time then when I first got sober. I can't even fathom betraying the trust of people that love me again

vegibean

You are never recovered, you are always in recovery even when sober. If we could be recovered, I would believe that means that we could have one drink, a year later have a sip of beer and walk away, two months later have a frozen drink by the pool... But that's not our reality, is it?

Yep, it has to come first and be protected, for sure. I lost it all once, and I am not willing to lose it all again, it is soooooooooooooooooooooo NOT worth it.

heathersweeds

Hello deeker-
I want to say good for you! It took me a long time to learn this lesson, and I kicked and screamed over it too lol! This is such an important issue, and I see it happen with a lot of my own friends. And, it could happen to me again if I am not careful. Like you said, recovery takes effort and I don't know about you, but sometimes I don't feel like it. That's when I know I have to get to a meeeting. Thank you for your reminder

P.S.- I love Tarpon Springs!! I go every time I am in Florida.

BethS

Ditto what Fallow said. I believe I am recovered. Cured? No. But recovered, in remission - what you will. I will never be able to drink again but being recovered means you do not want to, you have no craving, you do not even think about it. You just get on with your life and do the right thing every day. And yes, you put recovery first, ALWAYS!

But for me, that doesn't mean working on myself with the same ferocity I did in the early days or going to meetings constantly. My good attitude is now mostly on automatic. I like to think I'm continuously and calmly tending the garden, rather than running through the weeds with a massive scythe!

deeker

[QUOTE=BethS;3779929]Ditto what Fallow said. I believe I am recovered. Cured?\

I liked your post. Yah i hope I won't have to work so hard at recovery but I am fairly new.

hypochondriac

I like this x

BethS

It is a lot of work in the beginning, but so, so worth it! And if you commit to doing it, then it's just a matter of maintenance later on. I just don't drink, stay grateful, keep doing the right thing, give to others, have good will, be open to growth and the rest takes care of itself.

Anna

I agree that recovery is a way of life in which I continue to learn and to grow. I also agree with you that balance is so important in recovery. When I get caught up in things going on in my life, simply being overly busy, I feel it in a little as a few days. I start getting cranky and negative and I often get a fibromyalgia flare. Fortunately, all I have to do is to stop and assess what really matters and move forward with the important issues in mind.

soberlicious

There are actually many who do considered themselves recovered.
Being recovered does NOT mean I can drink again. Being recovered means I am not longer addicted to alcohol because I do not put it in my body. Ever.
I am recovered. I never close my mind to new revelations. And I don't know it all. "Knowing it all" would be horrible...I'd be bored stiff. New ideas, new experiences, new projects...that's how I'm stimulated every day. Because I don't drink, I am free to explore, learn, and do anything I want. I am free to actually live life.

Threshold

I spend time in active sobriety each day. That's how I am currently thinking of it. Just like I used to put time and energy and emotion towards active addiction, now I am doing it towards sobriety.

As I learn and grow, age and experience I find that the things I do to maintain my recovery evolve as well. I can pull out those tools from early recovery any time if I need to, but I also develop new skills and come across new tools.

The things I was doing in my early recovery were not enough to keep me clean and sober (my relapses are obvious proof of that). I needed to keep trying things, because one of my issues was that I wasn't all that invested in life, not enough to bother with staying sober.

I DO spend a chunk of every day in active sobriety, intentional set aside time. It's not a burden, or something I force myself to do. It's something I feel very clear benefit from and enjoy.

In early recovery I was running away from something, now I am more in moving towards something. It was a subtle but necessary shift in attitude for me.

Natom

Thanks for the post Deeker. I'm going through some stuff at the moment. Letting my recovery slip a little bit. Putting other things first. You put my thoughts into words. We can never be too busy for recovery. And if you think you are too busy for recovery then you're not doing it right. I hear people, including my sponsor, say 'I thought I was more recovered than that'. But I never hear people say I'm recovered. In fact the only place I have ever heard/seen that is on this forum.

Me personally. I will never be fully recovered. One day I'll have finished the steps. Maybe got a couple of sponsees. Worked my way around the service commitments. But I'll never be recovered. I'm always going to have at least one last use up in me. And if I start thinking I've recovered then the chances of me having that one last use up is going to rise. And I honestly think I wouldn't make it back from that one.

Natom.

Joe Nerv

Recovered and recovering... such a game of semantics. Now we all have to prove how right we are, in which one we choose. OK. I'll play.

As others have said already, recovered from alcoholism would mean to me I no longer had it. If I no longer had it, I'd be able to drink safely like my mom and dad. I'm quite certain that will never happen. If I pick up a drink, I'm in trouble. If I were recovered, I wouldn't be in trouble.

I heard an old old-timer once say that he was at a meeting with bill w. where someone asked why the book says, "recovered". This may actually be in print somewhere, a grapevine article or something, but anyhow - this old timer said that Bill said the word recovered was used because to the outside world, we should consider ourselves recovered. People don't undersand alcoholism, and to say we're recovering could be very detrimental in many ways. Within our fellowship however we need to realize that we are indeed recovering, and our continued sobriety is contingient upon the actions we take in order to keep ourselves sober.

Threshold

I don't think it IS semantics. There are many similarities in addiction and recovery for most of us, but people DO experience both their addiction and recovery in different ways.

There are many posts on SR I identify with, and just as many that i don't. Some people experience themselves as recovered, others not. Even the same person, as they progress may find their experience and feelings change.

deeker

[QUOTE=Threshold;3780470]I don't think it IS semantics. There are many similarities in addiction and recovery for most of us, but people DO experience both their addiction and recovery in different ways.

I actually found out recovered appears like 16 times in Big Book. I don't agree though.

soberlicious

The word "recovered" does appear in the Big Book.

If one has a spiritual awakening as a result of working the steps, then the obsession to drink is lifted. Therefore, it would stand to reason one would be "recovered". It wouldn't seem you could "unhave" a spiritual awakening anymore than you can unring a bell.
I'm assuming then, that not continuing any sort of action means that the awakening will then be reversed or forgotten...or somehow lose it's power.

deeker

[QUOTE=soberlicious;3781266]The word "recovered" does appear in the Big Book.

Just from experience after almost 3 yrs sober when I thought I was recovered. i let up on my program and drank. I need AA always and the steps daily, But hey that's just me.

Joe Nerv

Yes. Does that seem unreasonable, or hard to imagine?

I have free will. I can do anything I choose to do. If I decided I just wanted to start watching tv, eating like crap, and maybe taking up some not so healthy other activities, I can do that. I can also get lazy and these things can start happening on their own, without much of my thinking about it. Happens every day to lots and lots of people. I can drift away also from my relationship with my higher power, my family, my friends, and lots of other things. I can start an affair with some woman. Lots of stuff I can think of doing that would take me away from my current state of mind, body and spirit. And if I allowed all that to happen, a drink might look real good again. It can be argued as I'm sure it will be , but I'm quite certain this is the same for anyone and everyone.

I'm gonna go to the gym now because that's part of what I do to make sure I don't lose any of that power.