Madd
Huh?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 474
Madd
I just finished my mandatory MADD meeting. Three people spoke to us. Two survivors spoke, and one woman who lost her cousin spoke.
They showed us slides of the cars, the body bags, their vibrant family members who they would never see again.
I tried to hold it together, I really did. There were 200 of us in one room. I felt bile come up as they told their stories. Tears streamed down my face. My legs were shaking so bad that I had to cross and uncross them to avoid shaking my whole chair.
They showed us a video at the end.
I don't know if other people were crying; everyone seemed in a rush to get out of there. I went and stood in the back, waiting to talk to the MADD coordinator. I stood there, swallowing hard to keep the bile down. My legs were shaking. She finally addressed me. I've never spoken so quietly in my life.
"I want to volunteer. Can I help you? Please?"
She took out a business card and wrote down the number that I should call. My hands were shaking so bad as I took the card from her.
As far as I know, no one else asked her. I was one of the first rows to leave. So I'm not sure if anyone else asked; I didn't see each person that left that room. But I didn't see tears from hardly anyone. I didn't see many people pausing to talk to the survivors.
After I took her card, I walked approximately 20 feet toward the exit. I saw the first woman speaker standing there, and the dam flood gates opened. I started sobbing and extended my hand to her. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."
And that's when the full sobs escaped.
I walked 5 feet more and extended my hand to the other woman speaker. "I'm so sorry." My voice cracked and I kept moving out toward the exit.
If I didn't, I knew I would collapse in a pile of heaving sobs, prostrated before them.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
I'm so sorry.
They showed us slides of the cars, the body bags, their vibrant family members who they would never see again.
I tried to hold it together, I really did. There were 200 of us in one room. I felt bile come up as they told their stories. Tears streamed down my face. My legs were shaking so bad that I had to cross and uncross them to avoid shaking my whole chair.
They showed us a video at the end.
I don't know if other people were crying; everyone seemed in a rush to get out of there. I went and stood in the back, waiting to talk to the MADD coordinator. I stood there, swallowing hard to keep the bile down. My legs were shaking. She finally addressed me. I've never spoken so quietly in my life.
"I want to volunteer. Can I help you? Please?"
She took out a business card and wrote down the number that I should call. My hands were shaking so bad as I took the card from her.
As far as I know, no one else asked her. I was one of the first rows to leave. So I'm not sure if anyone else asked; I didn't see each person that left that room. But I didn't see tears from hardly anyone. I didn't see many people pausing to talk to the survivors.
After I took her card, I walked approximately 20 feet toward the exit. I saw the first woman speaker standing there, and the dam flood gates opened. I started sobbing and extended my hand to her. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."
And that's when the full sobs escaped.
I walked 5 feet more and extended my hand to the other woman speaker. "I'm so sorry." My voice cracked and I kept moving out toward the exit.
If I didn't, I knew I would collapse in a pile of heaving sobs, prostrated before them.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
I'm so sorry.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I know how you feel. I was luckier than you were--I never got a DUI, though there were certainly times I deserved it, and lucky enough not to hurt someone else. That's all it is, just luck.
I know someone who killed two people driving drunk. She didn't mean to, but she lives with it every day of her life. There is no changing something like that.
I'm glad you went with your gut and offered to help. We were all so selfish for so long, and the only way to change that is to start being of service to others. Somebody might hear what you have to say and decide not to drive after they've been out partying, or decide to get help for their alcoholism.
Keep comin' back.
I know someone who killed two people driving drunk. She didn't mean to, but she lives with it every day of her life. There is no changing something like that.
I'm glad you went with your gut and offered to help. We were all so selfish for so long, and the only way to change that is to start being of service to others. Somebody might hear what you have to say and decide not to drive after they've been out partying, or decide to get help for their alcoholism.
Keep comin' back.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
And so it goes...
You have inspired me to volunteer also. I'm going to look up how to help out with some trail races that are held here in a couple weeks. Maybe not as noble as MADD, but I have been thinking about doing it and putting it off.
Thanks, 321!
edit: just sent email to race director
You have inspired me to volunteer also. I'm going to look up how to help out with some trail races that are held here in a couple weeks. Maybe not as noble as MADD, but I have been thinking about doing it and putting it off.
Thanks, 321!
edit: just sent email to race director
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
