Imustdothis

Help, I am on day 5, it's 6. 20pm, my son is driving me nuts - he has ADHD and doesn't listen .. I'm tempted to get a bottle of wine .. please stop me !! ....

soberjim

Imustdothis....I cannot stop you.. But you can stop yourself. Take a deep breath...You know that drinking a bottle of wine will not help you or you son..

You posted. That is good...Is there anybody you can talk to at the moment?

Jim

veryready

Do you really want tomorrow to be day 1 again?

I have 3 young boys, so I hear you loud and clear, but try to hang in.

Soberween

Play the tape all the way through. You will wake up tomorrow and be more horribly depressed and anxious than you are now.

soberjim

Imustdothis...
You still there? I like what soberween said...Really stop and think this through...

Post...let us know...

Jim

Imustdothis

Gave in :-(

Pamel

Imustdothis, I have had my last drink at 2:10 PM January 17th, 2013. Too much is at stake, and it is all down down down. Join me. I need a friend....

hypochondriac

I hate to say this but a bottle of wine isn't going to make your son listen. I guarantee that sobriety will enable you to deal better with difficulties in life once you get over the initial hurdle. Please get rid of the wine and start again x

escapist

Kid can be trying, but drinking doesnt give you more love, patience, or tolerence. It just makes it easier to say, " I don't care"

ScottFromWI

This is only a temporary setback...get rid of the rest of the wine and start over. One glass is a slip up, don't make it a major slip up. We're here to help you if you need it.

I have 3 younger kids that drive me nuts too at times, and I am only 11 days sober but i can ABSOLUTELY say that i'm dealing with them much better already. Sneaking out to the garage and guzzling a beer was my "escape" mechanism from the exact kind of situation you are faced with, and looking back I see it was hurting rather than helping.

Be strong and stay with us....we want you to succeed as bad as we want to ourselves.

Dee74

This technique was really useful for me Imustdothis:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

Unfortunately drinking doesn't really help with things like kids...I bet your son was the same after you drank as before?

There's healthier ways to deal with things I think - do you have any support outside SR Imustdothis?

D

Natom

I echo what Dee is saying about urge surfing. You also need to have some type of recovery structure in place in your life. And keep it one day at a time. If you can't go a day or half a day then try an hour and keep building on it.

Natom.

soberlicious

Imustdothis, I understand how stressful it can be. Parenting is rewarding, but man it's the hardest job in the world. I have triplet boys. One has ADHD and one has autism. Things are SO much easier because they are 15 now, but when they were toddlers, I was drunk by bathtime every single night.

Here's the important thing I learned. My drinking cycle actually made it much harder to deal with my kids' challenging behaviors, not easier. Every day I was hanging on by a thread physically and emotionally. I was like a raw nerve until I started drinking, then I was just numb and drunk. I was no good at working on modifying the behaviors that come with ADHD or autism because I was either hanging on by my fingernails until I could drink or I was drunk.

I know how you feel, but for this to get better, you must stop the cycle. Do you have a plan for doing that?

HereIAm321

Something that helps me is to just repeat these mantras to myself:

"Drinking is not an option for me."
"I don't drink alcohol."

And especially,

"I am allergic to alcohol."

Sometimes, I also envision a bottle of beer as actually being a gun. I'd never put a gun in my mouth.....guns and alcohol will kill me. All of my potential, my career path, getting a security clearance, all of my intellect and intelligence,...down the drain.

I am allergic to alcohol.

Eliz181144

I hope you're ok and that you'll be back and posting soon.

Xune

My kids don't listen either. It's what kids do.

You need to find new coping mechanisms that don't involve booze.

I have to ask, if you start boozing, will your son listen to you and will his ADHD go away?

I see you boozed.

I wish you well in the choices you make for yourself and family.

taramaree

That used to be my excuse.. My two girls are driving me nuts... I've been Sober since October, and I can tell you and relate.. Drinking doesn't make them listen. Stopping drinking has helped me be a better mother overall and I've learned other coping mechanisms.Play with the kids, talk one on one with your kids, do activities, play Wii, go outside, anything to overcome the urge. You CAN do this. I'm sure you want the very best for your children... Good luck to you!! This is just a set-back.. Wake up tomorrow, and decide One day at a time!

Michael66

I used to drink when things or people irritated me. I drank when I felt stressed to relieve the tension. I also drank to celebrate good things. Happy, or sad, I drank - I could always find a reason (the most common one being "let's just have one last evening").

Stopping drinking doesn't take away all of life's stresses - but it sure takes a way one significant cause of them. And we it takes away the problem of having to deal with stress when hung-over or when craving for drink (though it may take a while for the cravings to gradually diminish). Do take a look at Dee's link on urge surfing - I think it's really useful to become aware of how urges and cravings happen and how they do subside. Over time you'll notice the peaks and the frequency of the cravings reduce.