Mammyof3boys

How do you all do it, those having reached months, years? i stayed sober for 3 months before, but that today, to me, seems like a lifetime.

I'm going to my first meeting tonight at 630, open discussion. See how it goes.

escapist

It felt like time stood still the first few weeks. Evenings are hard. Almost impossible. I went through a period where I craved white toast with strawberry jam. I took valarian herb. It did calm me a little. I tried green tea, it tasted like what you would imagine the color green to taste like. Blew that one off. I would watch TV and get lost in it. I actually became engrossed in a Marmaduke movie. I wondered if I had permanently destroyed my IQ at that time. I spent a lot of time here. I still do. I have probably annoyed everyone here. I have 3 months. I feel so different than I did at one or two. I am really grateful for this place. I am so happy that I am sober. Words can't explain it. I am relieved to know that I will never watch another talking dog movie with obsession again.

MIRecovery

I stay sober a day at a time. This simple concept had kept me sober for a while and still does. I do what I need to do on a daily basis to insure sobriety. I know a bunch of people with 20+ years of sobriety and they still live a day at a time

soberjim

Escapist...nice post..congrats on 3 months.

Jim

mecanix

I did'nt set out with a goal in mind .

At the begining a week seemed like an eternity , it was scarry to think of a week or a month . It wasn't useful to my sobriety so i tried hard not to think about it .

What use is there in thinking about it especially if it's effect is detremental to your sobriety ? isn't it better to just stay sober today and worry about tommorow when it's tommorow ?

Sometimes to protect my sobriety i have to deal with what is essencial , now today , the bare bones of the situation and leave everything else in the future , in the future .

Bestwishes, M

doggonecarl

I don't think early sobriety is suppose to be a joy ride. It can be tough. But it isn't supposed to be miserable either.

Have you accepted never drinking? Or do you grieve its loss?

Glad to see you are willing to change things up and try AA. Cause your way wasn't working, was it?

Mammyof3boys

I grieve it. I do.
Thanks I hope I find what I'm looking for there," hope" that I can do it I guess.
I'm so down today. Thinking about how over the summer I had 2 beers, just 2! And I drove my kids somewhere. The things that could have happened.

escapist

Be glad that the past is gone. Dwelling on what we did and what could have happened just makes us feel hopeless.

doggonecarl

You are down today. But make it a sober day and it is one more thing you can add to the things you are grateful for.

Years ago I wrote an entry in my journal where basically I said that it looked like I would always be battling the bottle. To read it now, I had the sense that I had given up, that I might as well drink. And drink I did.

But that was then. I've been sober for over two years. Two years!!! And this from a person who had decided he would drink until he died.

Don't ever give up trying.

Mammyof3boys

Thank you that means so much to me. I have also thought that way, that wine will always be a demon to me. I'm glad you have 2 years.

2granddaughters

I believe that you will find that you have taken a big step in the right direction.

All the best.

Bob R

duane1

I needed to replace my drinking time with something else. I did it with exercise and learning guitar.

2granddaughters

You will grieve it, like the loss of a loved one. I did.

Feel the feelings and share them with the folks at the table, with the oldtimers. They will help you through your grief and on to a life that you couldn't imagine.

I was at a 1st Step table this morning and there was a new man there. Another at the same table had 38 yrs sober, another with 21 yrs, a lady with 13 months lead the table, a lady had relapsed and just come back... and me with 23 yrs. We all shared who/what we are and we all identified.
Everyone understood and forgave the others at the table. Everyone came to know and forgive themselves a bit too.

I look forward to seeing you someday at a meeting !

Bob R

Fandy

if you think about this differently Mammy, you are opening up a world of possibilities when you have sober evenings. being tethered to a bottle every night is not living, it's slavery...I hope you can see it in this light when you start to feel better.

Are you on Day 4 or more?

Mammyof3boys

No just day 4!

ReadyAtLast

good on you for getting to Day 4.It really does get better

Fandy

You will feel better soon...give it some time and be kind to yourself.

Dee74

It's never too late to turn our lives around, Mammy.
You're making plans for a new life - this is a good thing.


and every journey, long or short, is just a series of steps (no pun intended)...keep moving forward

Hope the meeting goes well
D

Mammyof3boys

Me too! Thank you all.

Natom

I keep things simple and structured. But more importantly I take one day at a time and work the program of Narcotics Anonymous with my sponsor.

Natom.