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Old 01-17-2013, 07:16 AM   #1 (permalink)
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What does it take?


People can argue recovery methods until the cows come home but IMO there are some universal truths about people that get and stay sober. Here are some of the things I have observed:
  1. Come to the realization that we just cannot drink and that total abstinence from all mind altering substances is the only path.
  2. Believe that addiction is a cronic condition which we never get over. We learn how to deal with it but we are never normal again
  3. Be willing to change anything if it keeps us on the path of not drinking.
  4. Remove people, places, and things in our lives that move us away from sobriety
  5. Listen to and do what people with long term soberiety do
  6. Have a comprehensive plan that addresses how we are going to stay sober
  7. Educate ourselves on addiction and recovery
  8. Get rid of the baggage from the past. This may require a professional or some type of recovery program. In some cases people manage to do this on their own but it is difficult.
  9. Have a network of people that you can talk to preferably people in recovery
  10. Develop a full and meaningful life that does not include alcohol. Develop sober or normal drinking friends
  11. Learn how to go outside of ourselves and make the world a better place
  12. Patience and understanding. This is a life time of change and things do not get better in a day nor will the world ever be the way we want it to be
  13. Forgiveness of ourselves and others

Other items that are recovery universals?
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I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself


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Old 01-17-2013, 07:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Wow! Great list. Thank you.
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
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"Other items that are recovery universals?"

for me, to begin i had to get to the point of desperation.
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Desperation... What was it?
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:26 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mammyof3boys View Post
Desperation... What was it?
desperation-at the end of one’s rope or tether At the end of one’s endurance or resources, out of options; exasperated, frustrated.
for me, it was when the pain of getting drunk exceeded the pain of reality. it was take another drink and kill myself or get help.
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:31 AM   #6 (permalink)
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OK add one: Understand your triggers and know how to deal with them.
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:32 AM   #7 (permalink)
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BTW that really was an awesome list.
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:37 AM   #8 (permalink)
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A comprehensive list, MI. Thanks. The mods should make this a sticky.

To add to the list may be nit picking on my part. But, I might have added:

Have the humility to admit you might not be smarter than your addiction.
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:47 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I too think it's a great list, but I take exception to number two. Since I've quit, I haven't felt this normal in over twenty years.
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:50 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elphaba View Post
I too think it's a great list, but I take exception to number two. Since I've quit, I haven't felt this normal in over twenty years.
What I am saying is that to drink again is to be right back to where we were. Yes, we are normal in sobriety but not normal from the stand point of being able to drink again
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I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself


Came back to life 7.24.2009
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:51 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
A comprehensive list, MI. Thanks. The mods should make this a sticky.

To add to the list may be nit picking on my part. But, I might have added:

Have the humility to admit you might not be smarter than your addiction.
I like that one and so true. This item kept me drinking for 20+ years
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I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself


Came back to life 7.24.2009
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:58 AM   #12 (permalink)
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If you're looking to negotiate on the price of sobriety then you will probably be unwilling to pay whats needed .

Bestwishes, M
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:01 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Putting nothing in front of our sobriety for sure. Kind of addressed it in #3
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I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself


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Old 01-17-2013, 08:07 AM   #14 (permalink)
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No.4 is impossible for me. Maybe not impossible but darn near. So I am learning how to accept those situations and kind of psychologically insulate myself. I mentally put myself in a sound proof booth. Thank God for our imaginations.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:04 AM   #15 (permalink)
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14. There are no recovery universals. Hear what has worked for other people, and figure out what works for you.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:13 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Having said that, I think there is one fundamental element required, you have to want it.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:14 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Great list MI.

This list has a lot of life truisms.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:23 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Well done. This list could be a great springboard for discussion, as new people may believe some or all are items are not essential in their special cases and need the importance and/or usefulness of them to be further explained.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:29 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Well done. This is really your #1, but in my words it is:

"Give up on the notion of there being moderate drinking in your future. You never wanted it and never will"
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:37 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Your list, in addition to the one about humility, covers every angle of what it takes. Every "yeah but" I could think of, and I can think of a lot, is addressed in your list. Maybe I'd put willingness at the top of the list, for without that, nothing else matters.
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