What does it take?
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by andisa 
Your list, in addition to the one about humility, covers every angle of what it takes. Every "yeah but" I could think of, and I can think of a lot, is addressed in your list. Maybe I'd put willingness at the top of the list, for without that, nothing else matters.
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Elphaba
14. There are no recovery universals. Hear what has worked for other people, and figure out what works for you.
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Fandy
Be grateful that you are sober...every day. because no matter how bad the day is....it would be so much WORSE if you were drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Early on someone with great insight and experience shared with me "A Grateful Drunk Will Never Drink"... (thank you Zippy for this)
The Gratitude section is where i first started counting my sobriety time. I no longer count (it makes me feel anxious), but i do try to visit the grats-group every day.
The Gratitude section is where i first started counting my sobriety time. I no longer count (it makes me feel anxious), but i do try to visit the grats-group every day.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
1. Come to the realization that we just cannot drink and that total abstinence from all mind altering substances is the only path.
For instance, not dealing with my past abuse has led me into many a relationship with violent individuals. I have repeated unhealthy patterns from not addressing it, but since I have done #1, not dealing with it cannot cause me to drink. I will just cause me to be abused.
I'm not sure you can define these things as universal, but I like alot of things on the list.
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by FreeFall
Great list, and great additions to list!
Might as well add that the planets have to be aligned correctly too, because sometimes that's the way it feels lol
Might as well add that the planets have to be aligned correctly too, because sometimes that's the way it feels lol
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by soberlicious
For me, this is the only one that is truly an absolute. If I do this one...really do it...then the others are moot. The others will make me a nicer person for sure and probably happier, but since there is no contingency on #1, then the others are not necessary for quitting and staying quit.
For instance, not dealing with my past abuse has led me into many a relationship with violent individuals. I have repeated unhealthy patterns from not addressing it, but since I have done #1, not dealing with it cannot cause me to drink. I will just cause me to be abused.
I'm not sure you can define these things as universal, but I like alot of things on the list.
For instance, not dealing with my past abuse has led me into many a relationship with violent individuals. I have repeated unhealthy patterns from not addressing it, but since I have done #1, not dealing with it cannot cause me to drink. I will just cause me to be abused.
I'm not sure you can define these things as universal, but I like alot of things on the list.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I'm hesitant to label many things universal, but I think that you have to want to be sober, and believe that sober is worth it, even when it seems otherwise.
If I really want to be sober, then I will find all the things it takes to get and live sober.
Next for me is honesty, which the first evidence of is "I can't ever drink or use again. period."
I agree with Soberlicious, we must realize and own that we can't ever go there again. Once we do that, the rest is filler, but without that given there is little point in bothering with any of the rest of it.
If I really want to be sober, then I will find all the things it takes to get and live sober.
Next for me is honesty, which the first evidence of is "I can't ever drink or use again. period."
I agree with Soberlicious, we must realize and own that we can't ever go there again. Once we do that, the rest is filler, but without that given there is little point in bothering with any of the rest of it.
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Threshold
I'm hesitant to label many things universal, but I think that you have to want to be sober, and believe that sober is worth it, even when it seems otherwise.
If I really want to be sober, then I will find all the things it takes to get and live sober.
Next for me is honesty, which the first evidence of is "I can't ever drink or use again. period."
I agree with Soberlicious, we must realize and own that we can't ever go there again. Once we do that, the rest is filler, but without that given there is little point in bothering with any of the rest of it.
If I really want to be sober, then I will find all the things it takes to get and live sober.
Next for me is honesty, which the first evidence of is "I can't ever drink or use again. period."
I agree with Soberlicious, we must realize and own that we can't ever go there again. Once we do that, the rest is filler, but without that given there is little point in bothering with any of the rest of it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 484
Originally Posted by Natom
I'm gonna start me a whole new recovery program that you can all argue over once it gains prominence. I'm even going to write a book.
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Natom
I'm gonna start me a whole new recovery program that you can all argue over once it gains prominence. I'm even going to write a book.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
I suppose it is possible to do only #1 and live sober forever on will power alone but that would be a very unique person and highly not recommended IMO.
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
The problem with only doing #1 is that it only addresses alcohol consumption which seldom is the problem. Addiction is only the symptom.
I absolutely work on many of the things on your list. Those things make me a better me. But none of those are necessities to quit drinking and stay quit. If they are absolutely necessary for recovery, then the flip side of that is... that NOT doing them means my mind could create a reason to drink. That makes my sobriety tenuous.
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by soberlicious
It is entirely possible and quite common actually. But I would hesitate to use the word "willpower" as that suggests a battle of sorts, which I do not have with alcohol. And personally, I think quitting and quitting for good should be recommended more often.
This is, of course, one school of thought. This mindset is also not universal. I do not view alcohol addiction as a symptom of the deeper problems of the defective me. I have had and will have many problems in my life. Alcohol addiction was one of those. Ending that addiction makes it possible to work on other areas of my life that may or may not need improving, as I see fit. I do not tie my "issues" up with my drinking. That keeps those issues from ever being an excuse to drink. There is never an excuse for me to drink. Ever. That goes back to #1.
I absolutely work on many of the things on your list. Those things make me a better me. But none of those are necessities to quit drinking and stay quit. If they are absolutely necessary for recovery, then the flip side of that is... that NOT doing them means my mind could create a reason to drink. That makes my sobriety tenuous.
This is, of course, one school of thought. This mindset is also not universal. I do not view alcohol addiction as a symptom of the deeper problems of the defective me. I have had and will have many problems in my life. Alcohol addiction was one of those. Ending that addiction makes it possible to work on other areas of my life that may or may not need improving, as I see fit. I do not tie my "issues" up with my drinking. That keeps those issues from ever being an excuse to drink. There is never an excuse for me to drink. Ever. That goes back to #1.
I absolutely work on many of the things on your list. Those things make me a better me. But none of those are necessities to quit drinking and stay quit. If they are absolutely necessary for recovery, then the flip side of that is... that NOT doing them means my mind could create a reason to drink. That makes my sobriety tenuous.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
