deeker

NEW WARNINGS THAT SHOULD BE PUT ON ALCOHOL PACKAGES..


WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think
you are whispering when you are not..

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like an idiot..

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
the same boring story over and over again until your friends
want to Knock you out..

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay
shings like thish..

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four
in the morning..

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
the heck happened to your pants..

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you
can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting...

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung Fu powers..

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in
the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or
name you can't remember)...

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead..

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really
big guy named FRANZ..

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible..

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you..

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear..


If you are new Please keep coming back and take suggestions, if
you have been around I hope you were able to laugh at yourself
just a little. I know I did. Thanks,

Here is a link to an Audio Alcoholics Anonymous Big book for the newcomer Big Book Audio MP3

Delilah1

This made me laugh, I used to think I was a good dancer, sobriety has proven otherwise!!

Natom

I used to think that cocaine should have a warning stamped on the bag that simply said 'She'll take your soul'.

Natom.