My alcoholic husband
 

My husband won,t quit drinking, even though we have separated twice because of it. I would leave him permantly, however he has health issues and no friends. I know for a fact that if I leave him, he will drink and gamble himself to death. I KNOW that he can not live without me, so how do I, in good conscience leave him, if I do I feel that I am signing his death warrant

Hi, HM, and welcome!

OK, you've talked about what the alcohol is doing to him--what is it doing to YOU? You are talking about leaving (even though you think you shouldn't), so things must not be so great for you.

For what it's worth, I left my last husband fifteen years ago, after he almost died of liver failure. I did it because it was killing ME to watch him, and I was sure he wouldn't last a year once I left. Well, it's fifteen years later, he's still alive (and still drinking--I'm sure his health isn't great), and I'm a lot happier.

We have a Friends and Family forum where you can talk to a bunch of other people in similar situations--we understand, believe me.

hmpaterson, have you been to al-anon? I only know what you've posted but I can not imagine a scenario where leaving one's husband = signing death warrant!!!! Does not compute!

Seriously you do have choices and you don't have to navigate them alone.

Hi hmpaterson

I hope you will visit our Family and Friends forums - I don't believe anyone should place the responsibility of life of death of a loved one on their head...

I hope your husband will have a moment of clarity like I did and turn his life around...but whatever one of a hundred things that could happen happens will be down to his choices, not yours.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

I have no idea if you should leave him, or how doing so might effect your life, but I would like to point out that it is HE, not you, who has signed a death warrant. Unless you are pouring booze down his throat..

I agree with others here, check out the family/friends forum, maybe try out al-anon.

Sometimes addicts do use "guilt" of their partner as a means of keeping their partner there to support their addiction. Just something to consider.

Also, my ex husband divorced me over my issues with addiction and mental illness. He is much happier now, and somehow, lo and behold, I've not only muddled on, but I am clean and sober!

It's possible your husband is more resourceful than either you or he realize.

That's your decision whether you leave him or not. Which problem you faced that also happen with me My husband has turned into an alcholic, and I'm expected to sweep it under the rug. It started out with just a few beers at night and has turned into six or seven every nite. I'm really tired of living this life with him. I get very angry at myself becuase i love him most and I cant leave him.

It will be much worse if you stay and he drinks himself to death in any case. You cannot live his life for him and he has to make his own decisions. And he will not quit drinking FOR you, he needs to do it for HIMSELF which doesn't mean he loves you any less.

Alcoholics are living in denial most of the time (and a strange kind of lapsed time frame as well) so the previous separations are not going to be taken seriously unless you actually mean it. It is no good if you keep coming back all the time - it means to him that it is ok with you if he carries on drinking.