subztance

Idont post much but hear this blert from me i'm crurrently 69 days clean and sober <yay> i have this thing where i still laugh and talk about drugs like there cool and funny this makes me a sad panda deep down i know dugs are noot cool not funny and i wonder if i'm weak sometimes i know 100% if someone was right there offering i would not say no this is what makes me a sad panda i have a few mental issues and really drugs do mess with it ALOT i know it's not worth the hassle even if its free because truly all drugs do is sell my own nerochemistry back to me for a price i do experance everything fine life is alot better and i'm slowly improving it it feels like i'm still in love with the idea of drugs like i idolise them i feel weakassed knowing i would if it was there even if it's free it's not worth the hassle i didnt choose to stop i was told i had to or loose everything and i've seen alot of people loose it all even there lives for choosing drugs just that one time i dont really allow myself in places i would be offerd <or drugged for date rape> and no one i see in my world uses drugs but i found a dealer already i dont think drugs arecool or funny there sad and they take away the people and things you love in oneway or another how do ii kkill the weakness in my mind i'm scared i will one day be offerd at the wrong time i dont waant to sign up for any of that embrassment sexual abuse on mme and from me people thinking i'm ******** <LITTERLY> i dont know what this all means it feels like hell right now

Dee74

hey subzstance

I didn't just wake up one day and not want to do drugs ever again.
Getting high had been my life for over 20 years.

I knew I had to quit but a little part of me didn't want to...not until I really started to change in myself...

I built a sober life I loved that getting high had no place in anymore....it took a while to get there but it was worth it.

Support was really important for me too. Very few of us do this alone.
Do you have any support besides SR - counsellor, therapist, NA?

Congrats on the 69 days btw! awesome
D

subztance

Ty dee

I have my friends and family for support and a key worker
I've had drug and alcohol therapy in the past
But I'm thinking more about this and I think I just need to work harder at braking down this idea that drugs are cool

So for the moment if I need to talk about drugs
I don't think I will be making jokes and laughing
I think if I start having more control
Over the talking I will start to see the drugs how
Thay truly are

Life distorting homewrecking soul stealing things
I think if I talk about drugs I should talk
The truth about a modern form of slavery
About rape and murders about long turm homelessness about facts

Not ain't drugs funny lol it's not funny not smart not cool. It's a dumb stupid way to lay waste
To life

Dee74

yeah I dunno about you but I have friends who are no longer here, cos of drugs and drink.

I agree - it's not funny or cool at all Subzstance.

D