Rollercoaster ride
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: el Mirage, az
Posts: 1
Rollercoaster ride
I met a man 6 weeks ago that has been in recovery for 20 months, We comunicate through text message and email since he lives in another state.
Since that time we have grown very close and he has always been up front and very honest about his addiction to meth, and his past. I try to be very supportive and interested in his meetings and his recovery.
He tells me that when he talks to me he always feels better about himself.
I have grown to care very deeply for this person and I really want to try to understand what he is going through.
Sometimes the mood swings can be very frustrating and leave me very confused,sad and feeling alone.
My close friends keep saying to me to turn and run that there is a nice normal guy out there for me. So I am looking for advice,
I understand that I cant help him that he needs to help himself. I was hoping that someone could offer me a little advice on how to handle this situation and am I doing this all wrong??
Since that time we have grown very close and he has always been up front and very honest about his addiction to meth, and his past. I try to be very supportive and interested in his meetings and his recovery.
He tells me that when he talks to me he always feels better about himself.
I have grown to care very deeply for this person and I really want to try to understand what he is going through.
Sometimes the mood swings can be very frustrating and leave me very confused,sad and feeling alone.
My close friends keep saying to me to turn and run that there is a nice normal guy out there for me. So I am looking for advice,
I understand that I cant help him that he needs to help himself. I was hoping that someone could offer me a little advice on how to handle this situation and am I doing this all wrong??
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR. Lots of information about what it is like to have a relationship with an addict, both recovering and not, in our friends and family section.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I must be old, but how can you get close in a relationship when all you do is text and email? One thing about the digital medium, it's easy to invent yourself when you never meet in person. You really don't know anything about this guy. Or whether he's using or not. I'd say be cautious.
I can understand coming to a forum for information, but advice? Don't your close friends have your best interests at heart? I think I'd listen to them.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I must be old, but how can you get close in a relationship when all you do is text and email? One thing about the digital medium, it's easy to invent yourself when you never meet in person. You really don't know anything about this guy. Or whether he's using or not. I'd say be cautious.
I can understand coming to a forum for information, but advice? Don't your close friends have your best interests at heart? I think I'd listen to them.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
it is impossible to "save" people. Be clear do you want a relationship or are you trying to help a friend who is a recovering addict. They are not the same the thing.
He is having mood swings at 20 months sober- there are other issues?
Your friends may be on the money, why seek advice from people who don't know you or the full situation
He is having mood swings at 20 months sober- there are other issues?
Your friends may be on the money, why seek advice from people who don't know you or the full situation
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
You might read in the Friends and Family section here to see how other people deal with this.
I would say if you're not battling an addiction it's going to be hard for you to truly understand what he is going through. Maybe you can be his friend without getting involved in a serious relationship? I think your friends are seeing the situation through more clear eyes and listening to them is probably wise. Sorry if that's not the answer you're wanting to hear.
I would say if you're not battling an addiction it's going to be hard for you to truly understand what he is going through. Maybe you can be his friend without getting involved in a serious relationship? I think your friends are seeing the situation through more clear eyes and listening to them is probably wise. Sorry if that's not the answer you're wanting to hear.
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