JamesAdams

Much to my surprise, today is day 10. I quit drinking cold turkey 10 days ago. The first 3 days were packed full of withdrawal symptoms and not much fun, but got better after that. Except for day 7, withdrawal flashbacks galore.

I have been drinking for almost 25 years. Binge drinking in university followed by an alcohol friendly career and drinking daily at home after work.

I've been thinking of quitting for awhile, so 10 days ago on a Monday I decided not to drink during those week days. Then I made it through last weekend, and now it's Wednesday night (in Australia) the next week. Maybe I will take the month of January off. Maybe I will have a drink at an upcoming party on Friday night.

So I'm not really sure what I am going to do from here, or what to expect really. I just found this site tonight so I think I will keep reading for awhile and keep taking it one day at a time.

I'm not going to AA by the way, I don't think that is for me.

least

to SR! I'd give yourself a couple sober months and see where you want to go from there. You may like sober living so much you decide to continue it.

LDT

I agree with least.

Dee74

Welcome James

I'm not going to discourage anyone from taking some time off...

but I'd be very leery of thinking that an easy run so far means you don't have a problem or that a fortnight or a month off might somehow fundamentally change your relationship with alcohol, and fix all the things that have bought you here.

If you're a drinker like me, you should be prepared to maybe find no amount of time off resets you...

if I drink again I simply go back to my usual relationship with alcohol and my usual behaviour.

I have 2O years experience to suggest that will never change.

D

Sapling

Welcome to SR....Can I ask you two questions?....And try and be honest with me. Why did you decide to quit last Monday?....And....Do you think you could even make it 90 days without a drink?

hamabi

Curious as to what a while is to you in relation to 25 years? 2.5 years perhaps? 1/10th of the larger number isn't much of a timespan, and might serve well enough as a while.

Less than 1/10th would seem to me to be more of a little while. 6 months would be down to 1/50th, so more like a flash in the pan.

And less than 1/50th might be best termed a blink of the eye.

Great that you've decided to stay off the sauce for a while. That's major.

JamesAdams

Thanks, it certainly has been great not waking up hungover for the last little while! I've been waking up early with a clear head, enjoying reading the paper with a cup of coffee outside before the rest of my household wakes up.

If/when I do have another drink, I'm certainly not planning to go back to the amount and frequency that I was drinking before. Will I be able to handle that? I don't know yet.

I do know (now) that I have a problem. It took me many years to be able to admit that though. Because I didn't wake up in the morning and reach for a bottle, I would go to work and complete my work day before drinking, I used to tell myself that meant I didn't have a problem. Eventually I hit my bottom (I hope I already did anyway) and did go to counselling for awhile.

Interesting you use the word 'reset', maybe that is what I am trying to do, reset myself to be like a 'normal' person?

1. I quit for a couple of reasons. One I am trying to lose weight. I have stacked on a lot of extra weight in my drinking years, and I need to do something about it so I will be around longer to spend time with my kids. When I looked at my daily calorie intake, alcohol was a huge part of it. In fact, I have already lost 4 kgs (about 9 pounds) just by stopping alcohol.

Second reason I quit was because I had been drinking too much too often, I wanted to see if I could do it. I knew I had to cut down a lot, and I wanted to see if I could give it up.

2. Before last Monday I would not have thought I could make it 90 days. Now, I think I could if I put my mind to it. Today is day 11 for me, and 90 seems like a big number. I think my focus is not on racking up a big number of days off and then being upset when I do have a drink, but on significantly reducing the overall intake over the course of a year (or rest of my life really!).

Hmm, good points. At this stage I'm thinking the plan is significant reduction rather than total abstinence.

Coldfusion

Hi Jim,

You'll find that quitting even for a while is good, and you'll find lots of help here at SR. Alcohol is pretty pervasive in our society, and it's hard to imagine a life without it (especially if you are around it at work). I knew I had a problem at 25, and I didn't quit until about 50. But then, I never really put any effort into not drinking again after those self-imposed breaks.

I can't say at what point it started "ruining" my life--it certainly was three months ago. I can say that there is not a single thing I am proud of doing while drunk, and I certainly would be a better person now if I had stopped drinking altogether at 25.

Xune

Regardless, time will tell.

Good luck with the choices you make.

JamesAdams

Day 12 today, still trucking along.

Have a party at home tonight, couldn't decide if I was going to try to limit myself to 1 bottle of wine, or abstain. Have decided to abstain tonight, wish me luck.

People around me are starting to notice my not drinking. Especially the kids, commenting that Dad doesn't smell like wine anymore and where did all the wine bottles around the house go?

Coldfusion

Hello again, not your real name

Good going on day 12--and good luck with the party tonight.

No, I don't mean to say that--you'll need more than luck. I think you need a definite plan, and should stick with it. Not just, "I'm not going to drink," but really think through what is likely to happen and how you will react.

JamesAdams

Things that are likely to happen:

- Friends who don't know I've quit offer me a drink
- Champagne gets passed around to everybody and somebody hands me one
- People ask why I am not drinking, since in the past I always was

Mostly I think I will just say no thanks if offered something, have something non-alcoholic in my hand that I am drinking, and say that I am cutting out useless calories if somebody asks why.

Sounds easy, but I'm actually really craving a drink right now, due to head home from work in an hour, and really feeling like a nice big glass of wine about now.

veryready

Hi James. You have good questions about where your drinking is. I finally quit for good 75 days ago, but what made me realize that I needed to quit for ever was this. I finally realized that I did not want to drink in moderation. I had thought the goal was to be able to drink a little once in a while. I really never did want that. There was a reason I could never have one drink. I didn't want ONE drink. If you can have one drink and be satisfied then I think that says a lot about where you are at. Many people spend years hunting for moderation. I finally gave up the hunt.

JamesAdams

Interesting point. Something I was actually thinking about today is obsessing over the number of days in a row might actually be a bad thing. When/if I do have another drink, I might as well have a blinder of a night since my number will be resetting anyway!

Not that I am planning that, but it's certainly a thought I had.

veryready

Dee says something about the 'last hurah never delivers on its promise'. I think it could be restated as the bender never delivers on its promise as well. Either way be safe and stay in touch. This is an amazing group of people. Good night from the US.