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Searching for Serenity

Old 01-14-2013, 04:59 PM
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Searching for Serenity

Ok,so I've been lurking on this site for months. I've been wanting to post, but didn't know where to start. I, like many of you are tired of being lied to, stolen from and manipulated. I have 2 adult children who are addicts, their DOC seems to be opiates, but they have used and abused many others. My son is 29 and my daughter is 22 and they are partners in crime except when they are hating each other, which is every other week.
I was raised in an alcoholic home and have been through many years of counseling, but nothing could have prepared me for this. I have read the co-dependent books, and I get it, but it is so difficult when it is your children. I am learning to let go, but it doesn't feel very good right now.
My Husband and I have custody of my Grandson (son's child) due to domestic violence and drug related issues between son and his girlfriend (Girlfriend's parents have custody of her 11 year old son). He (Grandson) keeps me focused on whats really important in life. He is 3 years old and and he is the sunshine in this dreary world. I just can't understand how 2 parents can let their lives get so out of control that they lose their children. We have had custody for about a year now and their situation has only gotten worse. We had a difficult day yesterday because we refused a supervised visit. The texting and the voice mails they left were from one extreme to the other, from pleading for a visit to anger and personal verbal attacks. I know that we are doing the right thing for ourselves and for our Grandson, but it doesn't feel good to draw that line in the sand. My heart hurts for the way they are wasting their lives, but I know that I am helpless to change their behavior. I haven't seen any posts from parents of addicts who are raising their Grandchildren due to substance abuse.I'm sure there are others out there. I'd just like to know how others are dealing with this situation.
Sorry for rambling.
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Old 01-14-2013, 05:09 PM
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Welcome and I'm sorry for your situation. And, yes, there are other members here who are raising grandchildren due to addiction in the family.
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Old 01-14-2013, 05:49 PM
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Thanks for your reply Anna.
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Old 01-14-2013, 07:07 PM
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Check out the Friends and Family forum, that's probably where you'll find people that are going through the same things. Where I live, this situation is fairly common and it is really sad. I'm sorry you have to be raising your grandchild at the same time you are heartbroken over your children. It's just not fair. I think you're wise though to set the limits even though they're hard. You're protecting your grandson and that's so important.
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Old 01-14-2013, 07:33 PM
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Hi JADEDLADY

You'll actually find quite a few posts like that in our two Friends and Family forums:
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com

welcome to SR
D
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Old 01-14-2013, 08:55 PM
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I'm sorry you're going thru such hard times. Have a look at our friends and famlies forum for more support from people in similar situations. :ghug3
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