Missbambina

Hello, I am 31 days sober today but I am having a hard time dealing with the emotional aspect of this. I have been going to meetings but I have found I am very angry and resentful which is awful but also have been having flashbacks of things that happened before that I tried to drown with alcohol only to find problems are very good swimmers. I have done this alone, although I did ask for help...I would still like to get help. I need dual diagnosis but I don't have the money. I don't know what to do. Thankfully I do not desire a drink, but I am still suffering not knowing how to deal with my emotions.

artsoul

Welcome MissBambina!

Congratulations on your month sober! Getting to 30 days is huge. It can feel like your on an emotional roller coaster at first, but things really do even out after a while.

I found that just accepting myself and taking it one day at a time really helped when it came to emotions. I was always trying to change my mood with alcohol before and it took some practice to learn how to embrace my own feelings rather than resist them or judge myself for having them.

Glad you're here - this place helped me realize all the stuff I was going through when I first got sober was pretty normal and that helped me feel better about myself. :ghug3

FreeFall

You are probably experiencing feeling true emotions for the first time in a long time which can be overwhelming early on. Every emotion seems magnified. The problems don't magically disappear when you stop drinking, such a bummer! If anything, to me they seemed worse because I could clearly see what I had been avoiding dealing with for too long.

I had to tell myself over and over again that I was finally feeling again in a genuine way, and this is a good thing, even if the feelings were negative ones.
Just weather through them, cry, scream, vent here on SR, and be glad you're not seeing through an alcoholic haze anymore. Pretty soon you'll find positive feelings are going to feel better too, and that's a great thing!

Windancer

Congrats!
Yes, it can be very hard at first. I found that for me I had to change EVERYTHING and give my life a complete overhaul, and surround my butt with people to pull it out of the ditch if I was too depressed/exhausted to move it myself.
It all pays off though!!! Keep at it :0

2granddaughters

I found sobriety, sanity and serenity in Alcoholic Anonymous.

AA is about quitting drinking, dealing with the past and moving on (up) sober.

All the best.

Bob R

TrixMixer

Hi Missbambina,

First Congratulations on 31 days. Hopefully you have already gotten thru some of the craving stage , and any physical withdrawal symptoms you were going to have.You are still sober and have no desire to drink, which is the best news. If this is your first try at sobriety there is a very good chance you will succeed. So STAY STRONG! We are all here for you.

Second you seem to be attending meetings which is excellent for support in maintaining that sobriety. It is ok to have a great deal of anger and resentments, but be sure you address them and don't keep them to yourself. Share with your AA group.

I am assuming by "dual Diagnosis" you are referring to the need for physcological counseling? Since you say you cannot afford that, perhaps just seeing you GP and explaining your feelings to him? He may be able to prescribe something for those emotional swings.

Anger, resentment, and all the problems of every day living are visiting you now and you are being hit in the face with them without the numbing effect of Alcohol. It is a turbulent time for you---but do not keep those feeling hidden--first write them down and search within yourself to find answers. For those you cannot find answers for ---give it time, but verbalize them to your group.

Believe it or not we all have had to go through this self-awakening, but I assure you when you have resolved these issues you will be your own best friend. You will know yourself so well---you will finally be at peace in your own skin. It just takes some time. At least that is how it worked for me.

We are here for you to vent , we never judge, we all have our own issues. This is a wonderful group who truly care about your transition to a sober life.


Wishing you all the best,
TrixMixer