BlueEyedBoy

Hi everyone,

I have been sober for a little while now, and in AA just over a year, so I feel a bit silly posting this. But I will not be able to attend a meeting tonight and my sponsor is away, so I decided sharing it somewhere was necessary, and SR is always full of such good advice.

I love the Serenity Prayer and hand over every day to God, and throughout the day. It has helped me significantly, and by not allowing myself to run riot on self-will things do get better. But there is something I just cannot seem to let go of recently. I am waiting for the all clear to return to work, and there are some hurdles complicating it, such as medical bureaucracy. I am fully co-operative and I know there is nothing I can do but comply and be patient. But I am solo full of anxiety, impatience, fear and anger as I want it done NOW! Poor me syndrome is kicking in, and I keep trying to bring it back and hand it over and allow God's will, not mine, to kick in, but I insist on being in this painful place. Why?

I don't want to drink and I certainly am not stretching this feeling out to justify a drink....so why can't I just let go and be at peace? I have been praying a lot today and have the Big Book beside me. I've done HALT and in the end it may just be early bath and bed for this recovering alcoholic.

Thanks for listening to my rant,

Coldfusion

I know how frustrating bureaucracy can be. The most important thing is to not tick off the people who are supposed to be helping you.

For us addicts, anything that is not destructive is good. I try to paint this picture of my detox program as being some transcendent experience, but actually we watched videos all day (not-so-carefully edited; there was quite a bit of violence and disrespect for the law...). SR seems good too. However, I might get into a major argument with you over relying on a bath for solace. I am a shower person, baths are evil...

2granddaughters

"What an excellent opportunity to work your program" ... That's what they told me and I hated it !! but it's the truth. Progress not perfection.

Here's a couple more:
"It all works out in the end, if it hasn't worked out it isn't the end"
"This too shall pass"

We alcoholics never learned to suffer well.. everything was to the extreme and I wanted to feel GOOD ALL THE TIME.

Call one of your AA buddies and ask how his day is going. Help him with his problem and yours will disappear.

All the best.

Bob R

FreeFall

BlueEyedBoy congrats on all your sober time! It helps to hear from people that have racked up the time! Dealing with red tape is hard under any circumstances. It's extra hard to deal with things that are out of your control when you're working so hard on being in control of your life.Try to distract yourself or do something that will work towards your goals and just wait it out. Self care and naps may be the solution for the moment. Hope you get resolution soon!

BlueEyedBoy

I knew I would feel better sharing on here Thanks for the advice everyone

Fallow

Hey thanks so much for posting this! I just got some stressful news here, and the answers you got brought me a smile and some relief.

Sad to hear you are stuck in the waiting game but it sounds like you are handling things the right way.