EternalQ

Thanks, Mecanix. Hearing how you felt on your day is so helpful.

karilynn27

pretty cool, what if?

MidnightBlue

Hi, Eternal. Thank you so much for the thread. You've brought quite a though-provoking question, as usual)

I'm far from one year milestone, but I'll give my insight, if you don't mind)

I'm about one week away from 100 days, and at the very start of this journey I had thought that if I hit 100 days I would sort out a lot of other things by this time as well. Bit the progress isn't so impressive, I'm still far away from achieving many goals.

It's like on the eve of New Year or Birthday - I am not thrilled any more, but rather sad that I haven't accomplished all those things that I had expected to come with time and age. I'm summarizing the results of my life and every year feel like Schiller's Don Carlos" "Twenty three years old and I've done nothing to achieve immortality" (though, I'm older than 23)))).

Maybe, it's just easier for us to blame addiction for all the things that don't seem to go right in our lives? Even though it's just the tip of the iceberg, and being sober doesn't automatically provides us with skills, equipment and courage to achieve the bottom of this aiceberg.

It's like vicious circle - great (failed) expectations can lead to seeking retreat in drinking - we quit drinking - return to another great expectations. And I keep asking myself: "Now, when you are sober, what's your excuse for not achieving goals? Face the facts - you are just a loser, you are not capable of it, sober or not". Do I need an excuse? For whom?

Eternal, don't make some mythic expectations rob you of your great achievement, don't let pefrectionism mess up with progress. You are such a great inspiration here, and we surely know it is a HUGE deal.

Take care and have a great day)

LadyinBC

Well I only almost halfway to a year so I can't quite relate. But congrats on making it this far. I think that is fantastic!

Yes you have earned this and it will always be a big deal. It isn't easy to quit and each day we make it sober is a big deal.

I think the people on this site will not let you forget it!

instant

EQ

I think there are lots of issues. The daily struggle and dramas fade, we get some things in order, emotions settle down etc etc. I cried when I made six months. I began to see and believe that miracles can happen. By the time one year loomed, it seemed inconceivable that this milestone could be happening so soon.

I felt the loss of 'the pinnacle' of 12 months. Getting the time was easier than addressing what needed to be addressed. I can over think, and over analyse- it was easy for me to lose focus. There is a lot to work on, but now I am going forward rather than carrying on digging an early grave.

in the end though 'one day at a time' is a good way to live. It does take time and we are all works in progress.

Love your work

Auvers

First, I would like to thank you as others have for so many of your threads and your participation on this site. As to your comments about edgy feelings about the one year of sobriety, there are probably many little things that make that happen. I am at 7 months, so only speaking in generalities, but milestones always carry with them the sense of achievement as well as the dread of time evaporating so quickly. In the sobriety journey, for it to be really successful, we have to be changing too, just lie the calendar. If there are things we do that become rote, whether it is repetitious actions we began initially to aid in not drinking or other routines, we are always in need of questioning the rote to determine if it is still a beneficial undertaking. We outgrow some things. If we do not, we get stale. I think that self knowledge that things can stagnate in any undertaking is there and we are reminded at milestones.

EternalQ

Thank you!! I am at work and its 7:30 pm and still haven't left so I dont know if i will get the chance to reply to the last few of you who wrote. But you REALLY helped me.

ALL of you, you really helped me, a lot.