Have you beaten Alcohol?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
Have you beaten Alcohol?
Hi guys,
I'm at a good place right now and aren't getting any cravings to drink at all and I honestly can't see myself wanting to drink again.
I have been out for sunday lunch with my wife and kids to a country pub this afternoon and saw other people drinking wine and beer with there lunches and it didn't bother me in the slightest. I was actually quite pleased that I didn't have to put myself through the trauma of drinking again.
How long this feeling will last I do not know, the weather is certainly making it easier for me as common sense tells me not to drink a cold drink when its freezing outside. When it warms up the struggle will begin as I totally associate warm weather days with drinking nice cool pints of lager. :-o. Time will tell I guess.
At what point are my fellow journey people on their recovery? Does anybody else look on alcohol as I do at present?
Thanks in advance,
Bruno.
I'm at a good place right now and aren't getting any cravings to drink at all and I honestly can't see myself wanting to drink again.
I have been out for sunday lunch with my wife and kids to a country pub this afternoon and saw other people drinking wine and beer with there lunches and it didn't bother me in the slightest. I was actually quite pleased that I didn't have to put myself through the trauma of drinking again.
How long this feeling will last I do not know, the weather is certainly making it easier for me as common sense tells me not to drink a cold drink when its freezing outside. When it warms up the struggle will begin as I totally associate warm weather days with drinking nice cool pints of lager. :-o. Time will tell I guess.
At what point are my fellow journey people on their recovery? Does anybody else look on alcohol as I do at present?
Thanks in advance,
Bruno.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
You will never "beat it", but you'll get over the obsession over time, it will get easier and you will get stronger.
As someone coming back after almost five years sober and then relapsing, no, you'll never have control over it. True story.
As someone coming back after almost five years sober and then relapsing, no, you'll never have control over it. True story.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
I'm at three years sober right now but felt I had it licked after a year. The obsession to drink was gone and I didn't feel the urge to drown my sorrows anymore. I realize I'll never have it 'beat' but do feel that I'm now a permanent non drinker.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
That's my concern VB,
I've never felt so in control as I did today,
Things can change pretty rapidly though, something like the car failing its MOT or breaking down, something as minimal as that. The first day of spring, anything to give the demon an excuse to resurface.
I've never felt so in control as I did today,
Things can change pretty rapidly though, something like the car failing its MOT or breaking down, something as minimal as that. The first day of spring, anything to give the demon an excuse to resurface.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I feel like that probably 80% of the time Bruno. It's the other 20% I worry about. I work on stuff when I'm feeling okay so that it doesn't lead to a relapse when a craving hits. They come and go with me and it is more to do with my inability to handle life on life's terms than it is anything to do with alcohol, though my default setting is always to go back to what I know x Long may it last hun, just don't let your guard down too much x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,008
For me, I now have long periods of time when I feel like you do now. When I don't think about drinking, can socialise with drinkers, make huge strides in every aspect of my life.
Then, out of nowhere I can start feeling that slip. In my case it can be due to work stress combined with a succession of sleepless nights. Exhaustion hits, then my thought processes become distorted again. I need to continue to be very careful and I will never consider myself immune from that pull x
Then, out of nowhere I can start feeling that slip. In my case it can be due to work stress combined with a succession of sleepless nights. Exhaustion hits, then my thought processes become distorted again. I need to continue to be very careful and I will never consider myself immune from that pull x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Stay mindful is the best I can tell you, don't forget how bad it can get, and if you should relapse, which I hope you never do, get back up as soon as you can. Don't let it get bad again.
Listen, I'm proud that I had almost five years, many people don't get that, and then there are a small amount that make it 10, 20, 30, 40 years and the rest of their lives.
Just stay the course, and be mindful of your environment.
For me it was life, I was OVERLOADED, and I just decided, I'm drinking... few months later, it was just getting worse, so here I am.
Glad to be back!
Listen, I'm proud that I had almost five years, many people don't get that, and then there are a small amount that make it 10, 20, 30, 40 years and the rest of their lives.
Just stay the course, and be mindful of your environment.
For me it was life, I was OVERLOADED, and I just decided, I'm drinking... few months later, it was just getting worse, so here I am.
Glad to be back!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
If I drink alcohol, I will quickly become readdicted. I have proven that already. The question has been asked and answered. The question won't ever be revisited again. So if you consider that beating alcohol, then yes, I have beaten alcohol.
Does that mean cravings don't come? Sure they do, and of course over time, they are very few and far between. So rare it's not even worth noting. I can't completely rid myself of desire (of any kind), but I can certainly manage it effectively.
Does that mean cravings don't come? Sure they do, and of course over time, they are very few and far between. So rare it's not even worth noting. I can't completely rid myself of desire (of any kind), but I can certainly manage it effectively.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Sober and recovered here since September 2010. Few thoughts of drinking, wife still drinks at home and smokes both of which I quit. I am recovered from drinking alcohol. I do not believe in relapses any more. I do not believe alcohol is capable of thought, therefore cannot be cunning, those irrational thoughts and delusions of grandeur and states of denial were typical addict behavior, not substance behavior. I was one as all of you were or are.
While addicted I could not control my cravings and saw my end coming with a short tortuous period when I would appear alive but would be no more than a plant turning toward the light in my single minded dysfunctional movement toward any alcohol.
I like the way soberlicious and ru12 put it. To clarify it for me, I don't think the question was could we choose to drink again, the question was does it continue to get better and for me yes. At two plus years, my determination to never drink again is as firm as ever but with no effort. It is like the difference between a slave and then being freed. I might remember or be conditioned in a way that is hard to break. The end of Shawshank Redemption illustrated what I mean with this:
" He's just institutionalized...The man's been in here fifty years, Heywood, fifty years. This is all he knows. In here, he's an important man, he's an educated man. Outside he's nothin' - just a used-up con with arthritis in both hands. Probably couldn't get a library card if he tried...these walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, it gets so you depend on 'em. That's 'institutionalized'...They send you here for life and that's exactly what they take, the part that counts anyway." Andy Dufresne.
Brooks couldn't make it long. Red had hope and that got him as far as his new life. We knew he'd never fail again at life, and would never go back. Why? Because he wasn't alone. And he and Andy could understand if one said I may never get used to this or that aspect of being out. But rather than panic that his friend was going to commit suicide or try to go back, they would likely grin and Andy say that he felt it too, it would pass or get tolerable, and that would be the end of it.
I am like Andy. All I needed was to get free. And nothing that happened to me was going to make me institutionalized, or in my case, craving to go back. The worst I ever get is a wry grin to myself thinking yeah that was nice tasting, glad I know the taste and feeling so I can move forward and try something new. I never aspired to be an alcoholic. Like Red, I have done my time, and would not even consider goung back, no matter how strange being responsible for myself might feel. I also feel a lot like Andy, in that while all I needed was my freedom to thrive, I will always make the time for my friends from the "inside," now out, and at SR. Unlike Brooks, they don't have to go it alone. I also relish my complete ability to control my sobriety, my freedom to just say no thank you, my self respect.
Andy thinks about prison with no urge to go back. I will not relapse but very occasionally think about how nasty and helpless I was as an alcoholic too. If I ever drink alcohol again it would be my decision to commit slow suicide again despite knowing what I know now. Likely? Not at all, see, I am not suicidal, nor a victim. I am at cause in my life again, for better or worse, not at effect.
While addicted I could not control my cravings and saw my end coming with a short tortuous period when I would appear alive but would be no more than a plant turning toward the light in my single minded dysfunctional movement toward any alcohol.
I like the way soberlicious and ru12 put it. To clarify it for me, I don't think the question was could we choose to drink again, the question was does it continue to get better and for me yes. At two plus years, my determination to never drink again is as firm as ever but with no effort. It is like the difference between a slave and then being freed. I might remember or be conditioned in a way that is hard to break. The end of Shawshank Redemption illustrated what I mean with this:
" He's just institutionalized...The man's been in here fifty years, Heywood, fifty years. This is all he knows. In here, he's an important man, he's an educated man. Outside he's nothin' - just a used-up con with arthritis in both hands. Probably couldn't get a library card if he tried...these walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, it gets so you depend on 'em. That's 'institutionalized'...They send you here for life and that's exactly what they take, the part that counts anyway." Andy Dufresne.
Brooks couldn't make it long. Red had hope and that got him as far as his new life. We knew he'd never fail again at life, and would never go back. Why? Because he wasn't alone. And he and Andy could understand if one said I may never get used to this or that aspect of being out. But rather than panic that his friend was going to commit suicide or try to go back, they would likely grin and Andy say that he felt it too, it would pass or get tolerable, and that would be the end of it.
I am like Andy. All I needed was to get free. And nothing that happened to me was going to make me institutionalized, or in my case, craving to go back. The worst I ever get is a wry grin to myself thinking yeah that was nice tasting, glad I know the taste and feeling so I can move forward and try something new. I never aspired to be an alcoholic. Like Red, I have done my time, and would not even consider goung back, no matter how strange being responsible for myself might feel. I also feel a lot like Andy, in that while all I needed was my freedom to thrive, I will always make the time for my friends from the "inside," now out, and at SR. Unlike Brooks, they don't have to go it alone. I also relish my complete ability to control my sobriety, my freedom to just say no thank you, my self respect.
Andy thinks about prison with no urge to go back. I will not relapse but very occasionally think about how nasty and helpless I was as an alcoholic too. If I ever drink alcohol again it would be my decision to commit slow suicide again despite knowing what I know now. Likely? Not at all, see, I am not suicidal, nor a victim. I am at cause in my life again, for better or worse, not at effect.
Idiot!
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 556
I feel comfortable now that I won't drink again. No desires, no worries about it...BUT...I've got a big box of dangerous weapons tucked away ready to defend myself with, dare the craziness raise its ugly head again. This box will remain with me regardless of how long I am sober for. I'm OK now but I'll never forget what I've gone through.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
All that I can do really is to thank my lucky stars that at this moment in time I'm not in the place that I was a few months ago. It was a dark dark place where I was drinking just for the sake of it and isolating myself from my family and reality in general, I put it down to the stress of running my business, but as we all know what we are after is any excuse to justify it.
Bruno.
Bruno.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I was never fighting alcohol - I was fighting alcoholism and myself.
It's good you feel at peace Bruno - I hope you'll be one of those lucky buggers who can just give it up and never look back
D
It's good you feel at peace Bruno - I hope you'll be one of those lucky buggers who can just give it up and never look back
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Nearly 11 months for me.
I still get the chills when I look at a glass of wine.
I am genuinely frightened of where it could/can take me.
I feel this mostly when I am in a social situation.
At home, it does not really bother me in that I would like to be having a drink.
Alcohol really does scare me and I think it could beat me in a second if I am willing to take that first drink.
I still get the chills when I look at a glass of wine.
I am genuinely frightened of where it could/can take me.
I feel this mostly when I am in a social situation.
At home, it does not really bother me in that I would like to be having a drink.
Alcohol really does scare me and I think it could beat me in a second if I am willing to take that first drink.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Alcohol for me is a substance, so much matter, a liquid with addictive properties, it's stuff. Alcoholism is another matter completely, that is a behaviour, it is addiction, it is a refusal or inability to accept and learn, and it causes all manner of mess.
For me, beating alcohol means as much as beating the ocean. Beating alcoholism is like beating drowning, and I have done that. I accept I will never drink again, and I have learned that this is within my ability to do so. I am free.
For me, beating alcohol means as much as beating the ocean. Beating alcoholism is like beating drowning, and I have done that. I accept I will never drink again, and I have learned that this is within my ability to do so. I am free.
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