Commited2Change

its nights like this i remeber why i started drinking. i cant sleep. i have no one to call. and im trying to get to know myself but IM boreing ME.. lol is that even possible?? i know once i fall asleep i will be so glad i didnt slip and go get a 6 pack but hopefully someones awake with an encouraging word... i put in my headphones and took a walk.. such a nice night in new york... but that didnt work.. dnt wanna go to 711 for a snack cause the temptation of the beer section would be too strong... im gonna lay back on this bed.. close my eyes and play " the tape" over and over and over......
*opens one eye and whispers* somebody help... its not working...

Startingover444

Hey there C2C
Yes, those feelings can creep up on us, especially in the night time hours.
I too often either wake in the night unable to sleep and then the thoughts go whizzing around.
What I do is take my laptop to bed, watch programmes, do some research on a topic that interests me. How about a hot bath to relax you?

Coldfusion

I'd say I feel sorry for you, but that's not really true. There are worse things than insomnia. Do you have digital clocks in your bedroom? They are not only a distraction, but they inhibit the waking dream state (from animated film Waking Life).

neferkamichael

C2C, if you didn't get that 6 pack it is working!! Its gonna take some time, and you can do it. Rootin for ya.

Dee74

I don't actually see craving as a moment of weakness - it's just us doing what we did for too many years....

you're not acting on your cravings though - that's a good thing - that's a moment of strength

This was a very useful technique for me dealing with cravings, too:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

It might help you too...it's also kinda relaxing
D

nomis

Patience young Jedi.

Getting to know yourself will take time. I know it's not easy, but try not to expect things to change overnight. Sobriety is a hell of a journey, but its a long one.

My two cents.

lilgolden73

Don't get the 6 pack! I have issues with sleep as well, you have to give your body time to get used to not drinking! Good luck! I know its hard!

Twenties

I also had trouble sleeping a first. Just know that this won't last, it can't. Your body is in the process of adjusting every second. Insomnia was my worst fear at first.

reading helps, and not looking at any screens (computer, TV, etc) because screens supposedly stimulate you. I also tried Binaural beats when I was really desperate, read into it if you want. Good luck!

Coldfusion

Here's my story about sleep or the lack thereof.

When my first wife was dying of cancer, I had trouble sleeping. There are aspects of dying of cancer that you can't even imagine unless a loved one goes through it. All kinds of thoughts used to go through my head, not the least of which was the prospect of waking up next to a dead person. What I learned to do was not fight my thoughts and not fight being awake. Be still in mind and body. Okay, I know that's trite and blah blah blah.

You could just stay here at SR all night (heck, I've been here all day). Try watching 321's little man go around the box?

RyanRed

You'll get to know a lot of these mental battles my friend. It's certainly not a sign of weakness. Quite the opposite actually. You coming on here and posting about it is a strength. Your never alone with this battle. Millions of people out there right now are sharing your same feelings. Really believe that because it's absolutely true. Managing our struggles is key. Tune in to the word managing and how I didn't use the word controlling them. Forceful control only sets up mental road blocks. Acceptemce and surrender to you inability to drink only reingnites the true you . If my words do not make sense to you right now, I promise you they will in the future. Try to understand though. Also think of drinking alcohol for people like you and me is like playing Russian Routtee each time we drink. The older we get the more loaded chambers their are. Until one day, each camber is completely filled, and well. . We simply are betting on a rigged game which we are certain to lose. It's in all us alcoholics best interest to quit while the odds are in our favor, and not the other way around. Times get rough, but if you stick with it its a guaranteed win my friend.

Stay strong!
-Ryan

CuteNGayYay

You got this!

vegibean

C2C, Good morning, how are you doing today???

Commited2Change

vegi, g morn.

im actually okay. last night i kind of had a little tantrum. i shut the tv off .. slammed my laptop shut.. threw my ipod on my dresser and fell back on my bed and yelled to my thoughts " you guys wanna talk ?!?!? lets talk!!!! " ( can you tell im a little bit of a drama king?? ) lol

i kind of just let my mind do what it does... after a while i let them keep talking and i went to sleep... lol

i woke up and a majority of them left.. but how are u doing ?? *sips morning latte*

vegibean

I am also doing well, but for whatever reason have been achy the last couple of days, and I don't know why because I don't do opiates, and I most definitely don't feel sick, no sore throat...????

Anyway, I went for a long walk with the fam yesterday, and then a little run by myself.

I stayed up way too late, but it's lazy Sunday, and my son and I have a little fun this morning, and then probably an early dinner, and evening back to bed.

I'm going to have a four admits Monday morning (I work in a treatment center) so I am going to be a busy girl tomorrow!!! I already am looking for the day to be over, lol!!!

vegibean

I'm sorry about your "thoughts", by the way, I know how that goes. Yeah, it can be tiresome, I usually just lay and watch TV and eventually, like you, I drift off eventually.... ZZzzzzzzzzzz.....

soberclover

As I am getting sober for the second time in my life, I realize this time around that the withdrawal and getting back to "normal" is taking a lot longer then before now that I'm 46 instead of 25. I also damaged my body and mind a lot more during the additional years of my active drinking. Sleeping does not come easy. I'm really trying to "let it go" and believe that in time it will be easier. I'm trying to be careful about what I eat as well as cut down on the caffeine. I'm not very good at stress management but I'm back in counseling trying to figure it out.

Commited2Change

my caffine in take has increased.. so im gonna try to switch to decaf today ... maybe that will help...

im 28 and that makes me nervous that it gets harder as you get older because i cant imagine it being worse than this...

regardless what age .. we are in this together...

Hevyn

C2C - I'm just reading this now - I'm sorry you had a rough and challenging night. It is to be expected in the early days, though - nothing unusual about your feelings. (If that's any consolation.)

Be proud of getting over that hurdle. You may have this happen a few times, but it will all settle down. You're doing great.

escapist

I have a low tolerence to pain. I wish there was an easier way to quit but I do not know of one. I do know that it will pass. You are doing something hard no doubt about that. Try to take comfort in the unshakeable truth that you are going to feel a hell of a lot better and soon.