avocado

I am 100% sure I won't drink. I don't even expect to be tempted. There's a pretty good chance I'll eat some unhealthy fried food, though, and at least have something to regret in the morning.

Dee74

I get why people are in a rush to rejoin 'normal' life, but I still urge extreme caution.

I think we forget the stakes sometimes.

My addiction nearly, literally, killed me...it made sense to keep out of harms way for a while, until I knew nothing or noone could sway me.

That took me a while - 3 weeks was too early for me.

D

vegibean

avocado, thanks for sharing with us, please be safe, enjoy the fried food, and I hope you don't pick up!!! Good luck going out there...

~Vegi

Xune

My addiction to alcohol was destroying my life and given enough time, was going to kill me.

I've been sober for over six months and I avoid bars like the plague.

If I was deathly allergic to peanuts, I wouldn't tour a peanut factory.

For me, it's all about respecting my recovery.

Anna

I agree with Dee.

I think that 'testing' oneself to see if the old lifestyle still works, is very dangerous.

hypochondriac

I went to a few pubs early on, I didn't want to but I didn't feel I had a choice (I did, but that's what I felt like at the time). I was not 100% sure I wouldn't drink but I was determined and very on guard. The smell of alcohol made me feel ill and I felt hassled by people asking why I wasn't drinking. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

I'd ask yourself though that if you are 100% certain that you aren't going to drink whether you are underestimating the situation. It's good to be confident but don't let that make you complacent.

Good luck and let us know how you get on x

avocado

I don't believe I've ever been addicted. The only thing that really 'triggers' me is actually drinking that first drink. In the past, I've never had a difficult time avoiding drinking when I wanted to. The problem was my attitude that I then eventually wanted to drink. Now, unlike before, I realize I don't want to and I recognize why more than ever before. I don't really feel like I'm in 'recovery' from anything or that I was ever an alcoholic or had a 'disease'. I believe I made bad choices in the past and I need to change my behavior. The negative behavior in question isn't merely entering bars, but drinking once I'm there, and I am 100% confident that I have control over the choices I make.

Splash29

This is how I feel regarding bars. Its pressure to go then its more pressure to drink and people want to know why you are not partaking in the "fun". I feel like if I don't go to bars with my friends im seen as boring so I feel as though I don't have a choice.

pkrma

That's pretty cool. But for me I don't see the point of going to a pub if you're not drinking. Pub food only tastes good when you're drunk.

I used to love pubs when I drank. Since I quit, i've completely lost interest in the loud, dirty, smelly atmosphere of a pub.

Elisabeth888

Two things disturb me about your post:

you are calling it 'the' bar

you say you are not addicted yet you cannot just have one drink. That is called the phenomenon of craving and that is our alcoholism. I don't care to debate the whole disease thing, but there is something called alcoholism.

avocado

I can see two reasons to go to bars/pubs or whetever - 1 is to see live music. I love seeing live music and in many, if not most places, bars are the only place to do this unless you pay the ticket price for a national touring act, which is generally a lot more money.

The second reason is to see friends. An old friend of mine is coming into town tonight, and since I'll be moving next month this might be the last chance I'll get to chill with him for quite a while - years, possibly. Since he drinks and everyone else hanging out drinks, it wouldn't be fair for me to try and convince everyone to do something else (not much else to do around here anyway in winter) simply because I have a problem.

I wouldn't just go to a bar alone or just in general for something to do. I don't see a point.

avocado

I'm sorry, but I don't really get your point about the use of the article 'the'. It is 'the bar'. That's what people say. It is not a manner of speaking particular to people who have had alcohol problems.

"you say you are not addicted yet you cannot just have one drink. "

No, I never specifically said that. I've had one drink many times in my life. I am confident I could drink one beer and then choose not to drink again for months, years, a lifetime. However, knowing myself better than anyone else, including you, I have chosen not to have that one beer because I think it's a better choice for me.

"there is something called alcoholism."

and there are many theories as to what it is, what the term means. Debates aren't allowed about that here, however, so I appreciate you not trying to have one.

hypochondriac

That's all it is for all of us. But it can be a powerful feeling when you do want to drink and it's best to be prepared. No one is saying that if you will want to drink immediately when you enter a bar, it's more subtle than that. Insidious may be the best word for it. You might be fine this time but you see everyone enjoying themselves and it plants a seed. You were fine so you go again but that thought comes earlier in the night and you start to think maybe it'd be okay to have one drink... I'm not saying don't go to bars, I do myself when I have a good reason for being there, just don't underestimate the subtlety of this sort of stuff x

avocado

Yeah, I understand the point of the seeds being planted, but that's just something I am aware I have to be on guard against. However, it still comes down to choices I have to make regarding my behavior, and I am completely confident in my ability to make the right choices, even if there will be a little 'devil on my shoulder' telling me something else.

quitforme79

Be careful..I definitely couldn't go to a bar now and I'm at 2 months.

vegibean

avocado, I don't want you to NOT come back here because I know everyone else is looking out for your best interest.

I believe you because you seem very strong in your conviction, it's just that most of us know that if we go "there" it may not end well, it's just because they care.

I hope you have a great time, be safe.

avocado

Thanks. I think for me it's a matter of being totally aware that at every step of the game, I will be able to make the choices I make and responsible for them. I don't believe that there is anything more essential than that very fact, that I am the one who must choose, and I am confident that I can and will make the correct choice. I will admit I'm interested in seeing how this little 'test' impacts my thinking in relation to those choices, and will count it as a learning experience.

freshstart57

Avocado, you mention that you see alcoholism as the result of some bad choices, and that you are confident in your ability to make the right ones. I might be in the minority here, but I fully agree with you. The bad choices in this instance led to a full blown addiction for me, but that is me.

You will stay sober if and only if the choices you will make about drinking are simply that you will never drink again, no matter what, and you will never change your mind. Choosing to have 'just one' would lead right straight to hell for me. Be well and best to you.

avocado

Exactly, freshstart - that's how I feel about it. I consider myself an existentialist and view my drinking through that lense, and I also view my reasons, desire and ability not to drink through the same lense. It comes down, 100% to bad choices I've made in the past and the better choices I need to make in the present and the future. Even if I find a gulp of beer in my mouth, I still have the choice to spit it out rather than swallow. One thing I do feel, however, is that the nature of a mind-altering substance is that at some point after ingesting enough of it, it can weigh too heavily on the choices we make because it literally adjusts our brain chemistry. I now know that in that light, the only choice I can make regarding alcohol is to abstain completely. I would prefer that it never got to that point with me, but due to choices I made in the past, alcohol has become something that I must now choose to avoid, or else I am ultimately choosing to let it influence my choices, which have had negative consequences.

Fallow

I like to eat some of the food at a few of the bars around town here. Ive been once in the past month with my old drinkin friends. I ordered iced tea. I was in great 'spiritual' condition that day and in the mood for that food. Also it was during the day.. I try to stick to take out orders. I wouldnt go to the pub at night myself unless I had a compelling reason. Seeing an old friend sounds compelling enough for me but Id be ready to exit quick if I needed and probably wouldnt stay too late. Im not looking to test myself but if I really wanted to drink nothins stoppin me whether Im at the bar or 100 miles away.