yogamama81

today is my 6th day sober and i feel like i'm falling apart. i thought i'd be feeling better by now... i'm not as shaky or restless, but i've had a BAD headache for a solid six days, my stomach is in knots, i can't sleep without taking tylenol pm, and then my dreams are so vivid and strange that i wake up exhausted. today is super-fun because, on top of all of that, i keep having these random crying jags. what the hell is WRONG with me? my fiance is extremely supportive, but he's at work most of the time, which leaves me alone and freaking out by myself at the house.

we went out to eat last night at Chili's, and even though i'd had a really good day (minus the headache), i walked into that restaurant and was overpowered by the smells of margaritas and beer. i didn't know that margaritas had a smell, but that whole damned building smells like it. i dutifully ordered my water with lemon and then proceeded to shake so badly that i nearly spilled my glass when i went to take a sip.

when does this start getting easier?? i don't want to be around my friends (they drink), my family (they drink), in public (really, even the damned GROCERY store is full of alcohol)...

how do ya'll do this? how does one go in public without being assaulted by old triggers and habits?

i haven't slipped, and yet i already feel like i'm failing. or flailing. both, maybe. i need some advice ~ something. i don't know what. i just need to not be in this mental place anymore. and i really have no clue what to do about it.

help, please!

Rugby714

Hello!
I'm on my day 6, as well, but from pills. I can't imagine your plight is any easier. honestly, when I wanted to stay away from people, I told a white lie that wasn't really a lie at all... "I'm sick, I feel horrible, I'm gonna stay in." It helps me a lot to order DVDs online (with the money I'm not spending on my habit!) and staying in to watch my favorite shows. I also picked up crafting again, I make jewelry.

I'm new at this too, but those are the things I do. PLEASE hang in there, you have people rooting for you (us) even if you might my know it!

All my best to you!

Edit:
I read you post again and wanted to add this: the reason TV helps me is because I really get into the stories and characters and I forget everything else, including my discomfort, for a while. Also, and it took me a while to feel well enough, but swimming and a sauna after makes my muscles really relax, and with all of the tension you're feeling, that might help. Plus the exercise is great. I think of the hard work of the swimming as a way to get to the sauna or steam room
I might be preaching to the choir, but drinking tons of fluid might help the headache. Maybe not eliminate it... But help it.
I hope any of this helps! Again, best of luck. Keep posting!

Dee74

Early recovery is rough sometimes - and all that the stomach knowtting anxiety, the crying jags, headaches, the heightened sense of smell, are all fairly common.

Supports very important I think - do you have other support besides SR?

and even tho these things are common to most of us, do see your Dr if you're concerned.

It gets better YM

D

mecanix

I took it day by day and only went to places where i felt secure , which sometimes meant scooting past the alcohol section in the supermarket focusing on the next aisle where i wanted to get crisps .
With time it changed for me , after three months i was able to wander down the alcohol aisle and buy drink for my family wrap it and put it under the tree at christmass without worry .

After 6 months i could go to a british boozer and sit with friends for lunch who were normal responcible drinkers .

I still find it easier to avoid temptation than suffer it but i can if i want, go to bars and pubs and it dosn't unduely worry me , although i do find them boring , i'm at 16 months

Bestwishes, M

yogamama81

thanks, ya'll. i don't know what i was expecting, but it wasn't this.

as far as other support goes, i really don't have any. i'm going to see my doctor on wednesday, and i'm looking for a therapist, but as of right now, i'm flying solo. i mean, i have friends and family that want to support me, but i really don't think anyone has any idea of how to help me anymore than i have any idea of what to ask for. my fiance is the only person i know that has gone through this and come out clean on the other side. he's two years sober and my rock. but i do NOT want to become a codependent mess, trading one addiction for another.

i just want the old me back. i only wish i remembered who that was.

Coldfusion

None of us knew what recovery would be like. We didn't know what life was like.

AA and NA meetings have been very helpful for me. It is great to sit down in a room with people who know everything you are going through. In my first weeks of recovery, I counted the hours until meetings!

weirdesttoner

Hi yogamama81, i'm also at day 6.
I'm also a beginner, so i don't have much advice to give, but i just had an experience with smelling alcohol and i nearly collapsed. Thanks to the comunity who advised me to get out of the house and take a walk (the booze was in my fridge). I took the walk, chilled out, put order in my thoughts and it worked like a charm for me.
I felt alone too before when i tried and failed, but i learned that here i am never alone!
Be strong!

vegibean

The smell used to make me sick, I was grateful for that, after I was away long enough. Just keep moving forward. I'm telling you, coming here and posting and supporting others is so helpful.

I see you have only 8 posts (not that anyone's counting or anything, hee hee...) but if you surround yourself with other people going through the same thing, you'll be amazed at how much it helps... At least for me.

I'm coming back from a relapse after having almost five years, and I don't forget what it was like when I first got sober, it was hard, it was a struggle, and I totally support you.

Have you done meetings? Therapy? Considered treatment? Get support Girl!! :ghug3

misterritter

I have about three weeks right now, but have stopped a couple of times over the last 4 months, so maybe I had a head start getting it all out my system this last time. I am finally, over the past week or so, beginning to feel like something has changed. I feel like I have come out of the 'fog' I have been in for years. This did not happen the first time I quit for three weeks. Then, I just kept waiting for something to happen. I am also in a different place mentally, so that helps too, I think.

I kept hearing 'Just be patient. You need an extended time of sobriety to be free of the effects of alcohol.' I kept thinking, 'When is this going to happen? Why hasn't it happened yet? WTF am I doing this for?' Well, now I am beginning to see why.

I can only say that, given my personal experience, and everything I have read of other people's experiences on here, things will get better if we continue to try to make them better, and do what we each need to so that we don't drink.

Also, I haven't tried it yet, but lots of people seem to find the help they need in AA. I am sure you will get lots of info about it from other members.

duane1

You are on day 6. You have to say to yourself every morning, "I will not drink today!" Don't worry about tomorrow. Worry about keeping yourself sober today. Sometimes that is the only way to get through this early stage. Day 6 can be a really tough time. Just do anything you can to distract yourself from wanting a drink. Run, eat fruit and vegetables. Go to bed early and stare at the ceiling if you have to. It will get easier. You just have to trust that and get through it. Your body is very confused right now. It used alcohol for fuel, sleep patterns, brain chemicals.... It just takes time for your body to heal itself and function without alcohol. Trust that it will happen if you stay sober. You are at a very critical stage and need to get through it.

HereIAm321

I'm on day 6 too, and was just sobbing while vacuuming.

chainsaw4618

Hey YogaMama, to each his/her own. I'm working day4 and I just did a load of laundry, 2 bathrooms and a kitchen clean. Pretty sick, but at least I'm not passed out. Also, my pets seem to enjoy cleaning jags a lot more than the alternative. Next up, discrete object detection in astronomical images. Good luck to you and hang in there!

2granddaughters

I was flying solo as well until I committed to AA.

How would you become a codependent mess?

All the best

Bob R

yogamama81

yeah, the past two days i've managed to keep myself very busy ~ cleaning, shopping, making myself get out of the house and talk to people, but today i seem to have hit this wall. i guess i need to get off the couch and find something to do, i just don't want to. maybe i'll go do nothing in the bathtub. that's better than the couch, right? lol

my biggest concern is that my kids come home tomorrow. i share custody with my ex husband on a week-on/week-off basis. i made a point to quit on a day when i would have a full week to go through withdrawals before my boys are home, and i did that. but they'll be here at noon tomorrow and i am going to have to (gasp!) function as a parent. i'm having a ridiculous amount of anxiety about it. stupid, right? i mean, surely i'll do better with them sober than i did drinking ~ i always waited until they were in bed before i really indulged (usually staying up VERY late at night so i could drink while everyone else was sleeping), but am no stranger to an afternoon beer to calm my frazzled mommy nerves.

i need a new way to deal with stress. i guess it's time to dust off my yoga mat - might be easier to practice without the hangover...