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Old 01-11-2013, 12:21 PM
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Day 1 Clean

This will be day 1 clean of pain pills. Doing fine so far.

I have been taking them from a prescription for pain but I cannot use them responsibly. I think, I know, I've been using them for "mood enhancement" along with using them for pain relief.

It's not the physical withdrawals I'm worried about, it's the obsessive thinking that trips me up every time.

Also, I'm sick with a mysterious allergy problem.

Husband is and always has been super supportive, (he can't stand pills), so I'm blessed with that!!=)

Wish me luck=)
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Old 01-11-2013, 12:25 PM
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Originally Posted by peanut44 View Post
This will be day 1 clean of pain pills. Doing fine so far.

I have been taking them from a prescription for pain but I cannot use them responsibly. I think, I know, I've been using them for "mood enhancement" along with using them for pain relief.

It's not the physical withdrawals I'm worried about, it's the obsessive thinking that trips me up every time.

Also, I'm sick with a mysterious allergy problem.

Husband is and always has been super supportive, (he can't stand pills), so I'm blessed with that!!=)

Wish me luck=)
Best of luck. I'm more of an "obsessor" myself with everything in life so I know what you mean. Lots of folks here who can help, read and post often!
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Old 01-11-2013, 12:31 PM
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Good luck Peanut, get your mind on something else, maybe a good movie, go window shopping, hang out here, support others.
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Old 01-11-2013, 12:36 PM
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You can do this. Good luck. Keep checking in...
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Old 01-11-2013, 12:48 PM
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Good luck..you will be fine....
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Old 01-11-2013, 12:49 PM
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Yeah,

I'm kind of stuck at home. I called in sick from work cuz I've had a allergy problem. I went to an allergist for the 1st time on Tues. and he is going to do some skin tests this coming tues. However, he took me off the benadryl I was taking for the sneezing etc. This was 3 days ago and ever since, I've been itching everywhere, sneezing and blowing my nose all night etc.

He is going to give prednisone for a few days til I do the skin tests. Fun Fun!!

I will read posts and like the person above me suggested, "help others". Good idea!!=)

For me, this disease has made me SO self-centered!!! It's like the pills become center-stage over everything else and I know that's wrong. So yeah, maybe helping others is the BEST thing I could do for myself!!

Thanks again for the support
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Old 01-11-2013, 12:52 PM
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It totally helps me peanut, that's why I suggested that. This site is filled with other people just like you and me who are struggling, helping them, helps you, and it feels good.
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Old 01-12-2013, 08:33 AM
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Day #2 Clean

Day 2 clean and i'm still sick or allergies or both who knows..

Husband is off for the weekend so I'll have some company. not even really thinking about pills yet.

just trying to get well....
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Old 01-12-2013, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by peanut44 View Post
Day 2 clean and i'm still sick or allergies or both who knows...
Hi, this your you local worry-wort,

Have you checked with a doctor? You really should get a little medical advice--danger signs, etc.
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Old 01-12-2013, 09:02 AM
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yes, i went to the doc this last tues and before he can do skin tests on me this coming tuesday, I i have to be off all antihistamines for 7 days.

Been having lots of problems since then, so yesterday he called me in a few days of prednisone which i don't really feel any different.

I just cant wait to go in and find for sure what i'm allergic to.

it's like being really sick and not being able to take anything for it=(
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Old 01-12-2013, 09:06 AM
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Have you talked to your doctor about your problem with pain meds?
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Old 01-12-2013, 01:25 PM
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no, not my allergist. This sounds really bad but I only take 4-6 a day of pain meds so I know my symptoms are not because of that.

and it truly hasnt been anymore than that.

its turning into where i want more tho and I think i just need to stop.

years ago, i used them very heavily, I was up to 18 a day, vicodin plus i was taking alot of valium and crap like that. Got really out of control with it, ended up in detox and then a 30 days in a rehab.

about a year ago, I broke my foot and of course I never told the doctor about my previous problem. I did take the meds as prescribed for that period of time as a broken foot REALLY hurts!!

It's healed now and it's time to get off the pills completely.
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Old 01-12-2013, 01:51 PM
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I went through a detox and crisis respite program. Most of the others there were heroin addicts (kids). But there was one older woman who came and did a program to get off pain pills. I wondered why an apparently respectable and stable person would put up with a bare-bones, no privacy, community detox. I guess she was as desperate as all of us.

This can be an easy process if it is done right.
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Old 01-12-2013, 01:58 PM
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When I went the residential program, I lived in-house with some intense people. A lot of heroin addicts, progressed alcoholism, meth addicts, I was the only one trying to get off pain pills. In the end I was friends with all of them and they respected me. They were good people, down deep, just had troubles.

They told me once they got to know me, that they all wondered what the hell i was doing there. I've never done anything illegal or stole or gotten a DUI. But I've still hit my own personal bottom with these damn things.

And I know I make it alot harder on myself than it has to be!!
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Old 01-13-2013, 09:04 AM
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It Is Day 3!!

Day 3 and doing ok. Still dealing with allergy stuff but I'll make it.
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Old 01-13-2013, 12:22 PM
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Hello peanut,

Well, it was our coldest day of the winter here yesterday so I pretty much just hung out here on SR all day. I've had worse addictions...

As part of my detox program, there were AA or NA meetings every night (volunteers from different groups would come to the facility). I knew that AA or NA would be part of my recovery when I got home. Those first meetings taught me that I had to take what I needed from the programs, and leave the rest--without prejudice against others, who might need something different.

But one of the points of the programs is that you can't keep it unless you give it away. Our sobriety is a gift that will slip away in an instant. So what I'm getting at is that you should do something to actively help others, and if you can't or won't go to meetings at lest spend some time here at SR sharing your strength.

Because you are strong. Congratulations!
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Old 01-13-2013, 01:08 PM
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I live in a pretty small town, if you can actually call it that=)

I had a sponsor for about a year and went to a couple meetings a week.

My anonymity has been severley compromised twice. It was innocent enough but still... It actually happened at my place of business the 2nd time.

Plus the only meetings that were available were AA and that's fine, however, my sponsor let me know that in those AA meetings, I needed to say I was an alcoholic. I don't drink...

If I were to start talking about pills, that would've been a bad thing. My sponsor had been going to these meetings herself for 15-16 years and knew everyone, so I did what she asked.

And after going to the meetings, she was right. I'm a business professional who is at a big risk if it gets out there that I'm an addict....

I've been looking for websites and NA or the kind of NA for nurses or doctors but they just dont have anything like that for a couple 100 miles or so from here.
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Old 01-14-2013, 06:27 AM
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Day 4!!

Off to work after 3 days off and other than being tired, I'm better. Allergy doc tomorrow!! YAY!!

Made a decision before I put my feet on the floor that I will not judge people today and try to take life as it comes today. Not an easy thing for me. I always want to push the issue.

Thank you guys for the support over the weekend.

I'll check in later this evening
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Old 01-14-2013, 02:17 PM
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I'm glad you're feeling better. Congrats on day 4

D
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Old 01-15-2013, 05:32 PM
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Day 5!!!

Day 5.

Didn't work today and boredom is always a slippery spot for me.

Went to the allergist and had 39 pin pricks on each arm. At least I know what I'm allergic to and what to do about it..

Thinking about pills alot today but not sure what I'm hoping to gain for doing that. This probably sounds weird but sometimes I think I'm bored with them. Like I've just exhausted myself with all the thinking, being overwhelmed, (brought on myself) etc.

Like maybe it's time to finally grow up and move on. I'm just so tired and fed up with the mental battle and I know I've got more in me than this. Life is so short. I don't want to look back with regrets.

A little tough today but I will make it without using and tomorrow is a new day!!=)
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