So Grateful Even After A Relapse
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
So Grateful Even After A Relapse
I really am grateful for so much today. So Grateful I am sober today.
Grateful I can walk again, eat again. Was without use of arms and legs less than 2 yrs ago in a nursing home.
I was so depressed being in a nursing home, Had lost my home to foreclosure 2 yrs earlier.
Lost my truck to a DUI crash, My boat cuz I spent all my money on booze and drugs., had to give it to the storage facility.
Then we lost our rental cuz hubby became an addict .
My folks took us in after I got out of nursing home .
I was so depressed but God did restore me to good physical health which was a miracle ,but I couldn't see anything good in my life cuz of my depression .
I was newly sober and miserable . I was still sleeping a lot .
Went to a lot of meetings but not much else . Didn't take suggestions.
Finally decided to try a new way and took suggestions and my life did improve dramatically .
I began to appreciate sobriety but still felt sorry for myself that I had to live with my folks .
Then one weekend we went to visit my son in Orlando. I had googled meetings in the area .
Well we drove to where it was supposed to be and no meeting .
So I called hotline . The guy on the line could have been anywhere in Orlando but he happened to be 5 min away .
He came and met us ( how cool is that) and took us to a men's meeting at the Homeless coalition in Orlando .
I knew in my heart that God was doing something special and I went into it fearless .
Well we drove through a very sad part of town .
Homeless folks everywhere . It broke my heart .
Then we got to the homeless coalition. There were over 300 men and women there walking around, sleeping on cots and sitting in a courtyard with their children .
It was the most peaceful setting I have ever in my life been in my life .
I felt such love there amongst the people .
These people did not look at me like I did not belong . No one stared at me .
Then I went into the men's meeting with all these men, I was the only woman .
Not one man said it was a men's meeting and I was not welcome .
They welcomed me with bright smiles and warm hugs .
It was beautiful . I listened to them share . They were so humble and grateful for what they did have , such as a cot and a blanket and some food .
They were at the bottom rung of life but they had found something priceless .
They found sobriety and fellowship in AA .
I was in awe of God showing me that even I could even survive in a homless shelter and I would be ok .
That there are more important things then boats, trucks and houses . These men had found themselves .
It was funny after the meeting I hung with the men outside the meeting and shared cigarettes but they didn't even ask for one .
I just offered . They were perfect gentleman . beautiful souls .
I went home with a totally new perspective .
I was and have been grateful ever since for my recovery and my little room
at my folks house and my little twin bed .
And my monthly food stamps . I have everything I need today I am sober and
I gave that away for 6 hrs 2 weeks ago when I used another substance .
Minutes after I relapsed I was on my knees crying out to God telling him how very sorry I was for rejecting his gift .
He heard my prayer and I am back .
I love God and my life as simple as it is . That whole was never filled with all that stuff anyways .
That spot was reserved for my God .
Thank You Lord .
Grateful I can walk again, eat again. Was without use of arms and legs less than 2 yrs ago in a nursing home.
I was so depressed being in a nursing home, Had lost my home to foreclosure 2 yrs earlier.
Lost my truck to a DUI crash, My boat cuz I spent all my money on booze and drugs., had to give it to the storage facility.
Then we lost our rental cuz hubby became an addict .
My folks took us in after I got out of nursing home .
I was so depressed but God did restore me to good physical health which was a miracle ,but I couldn't see anything good in my life cuz of my depression .
I was newly sober and miserable . I was still sleeping a lot .
Went to a lot of meetings but not much else . Didn't take suggestions.
Finally decided to try a new way and took suggestions and my life did improve dramatically .
I began to appreciate sobriety but still felt sorry for myself that I had to live with my folks .
Then one weekend we went to visit my son in Orlando. I had googled meetings in the area .
Well we drove to where it was supposed to be and no meeting .
So I called hotline . The guy on the line could have been anywhere in Orlando but he happened to be 5 min away .
He came and met us ( how cool is that) and took us to a men's meeting at the Homeless coalition in Orlando .
I knew in my heart that God was doing something special and I went into it fearless .
Well we drove through a very sad part of town .
Homeless folks everywhere . It broke my heart .
Then we got to the homeless coalition. There were over 300 men and women there walking around, sleeping on cots and sitting in a courtyard with their children .
It was the most peaceful setting I have ever in my life been in my life .
I felt such love there amongst the people .
These people did not look at me like I did not belong . No one stared at me .
Then I went into the men's meeting with all these men, I was the only woman .
Not one man said it was a men's meeting and I was not welcome .
They welcomed me with bright smiles and warm hugs .
It was beautiful . I listened to them share . They were so humble and grateful for what they did have , such as a cot and a blanket and some food .
They were at the bottom rung of life but they had found something priceless .
They found sobriety and fellowship in AA .
I was in awe of God showing me that even I could even survive in a homless shelter and I would be ok .
That there are more important things then boats, trucks and houses . These men had found themselves .
It was funny after the meeting I hung with the men outside the meeting and shared cigarettes but they didn't even ask for one .
I just offered . They were perfect gentleman . beautiful souls .
I went home with a totally new perspective .
I was and have been grateful ever since for my recovery and my little room
at my folks house and my little twin bed .
And my monthly food stamps . I have everything I need today I am sober and
I gave that away for 6 hrs 2 weeks ago when I used another substance .
Minutes after I relapsed I was on my knees crying out to God telling him how very sorry I was for rejecting his gift .
He heard my prayer and I am back .
I love God and my life as simple as it is . That whole was never filled with all that stuff anyways .
That spot was reserved for my God .
Thank You Lord .
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